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What happens to the Golden Child?

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What happens to the Golden Child?

Postby Dilbert » Sun Sep 26, 2010 7:30 pm

In my bit of research on NPD I've come to learn that a N mother with two children gives them roles; one is the Golden Child (GC) and one is the Scapegoat.

The Scapegoat does everything wrong, gets blamed for everything, everything is their fault, their achievements are ignored.
The GC can do no wrong, they are great, everything they do is great, their faults are glossed over.

It strikes me that the way that the GC is treated is one of the theories about what causes NPD in the first place. So does NPD in effect become "inherited" and the GC goes on to have children and repeat what their mother just did?
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Re: What happens to the Golden Child?

Postby Chucky » Sun Sep 26, 2010 8:04 pm

Hey, I just read your other post. Are you trying to apply this 'scapegoat' and 'GC' idea to your own situation? In answer to your question - and at the risk of sounding too optimistic - you only inherit from your parents what you want. I mean, we are humans and have a powerful brain that allows us to think away from our natural tendencies. If you have the 'chemistry' for NPD in you, you still have the power to not let that chemistry mix. As I making sense?


Ultimately, i'm saying that a child whose parent has NPD does not necessarily have to become an NPD his/herself.

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Re: What happens to the Golden Child?

Postby Dilbert » Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:48 pm

Yes, I am applying this to my own situation.

I think you're right that we can control what we inherit from our parents.

But in the case of the Golden Child they are treated well, everything they do is perfect. I think for those children there's little motivation to stop and think something is wrong and make efforts to try and not turn into their parents. Some might but it's easier just to enjoy the attention and feel no need to try and turn into something different to what their parents want.
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Re: What happens to the Golden Child?

Postby maria » Mon Sep 27, 2010 7:08 am

maybe you find this post interesting, it's an article called "the narcissistic mother"
narcissistic-personality/topic48207.html

in the responses you'll also find contributions by people with narcissistic mothers, whose posts you may want to read. When discussing the golden child thing, the opinion seemed to be that being the golden child more likely leads to "inherited" NPD but of course it's not that simple. i also recall a golden child posting about his experience of childhood trauma. It cannot be easy to be the golden child either...

Well done for the 12 mile run by the way - i know several people who never ran more than that in preparation for a marathon and all i know did it (beside one who got a cramp). and no matter what your mum says, finishing a marathon is a great achievement.
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