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Revenge

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Revenge

Postby Paola » Thu Jan 14, 2010 6:38 pm

Hello all,

I just read this on internet somewhere

Don't enrage the narcissist in your life. He or she will make you pay. Stay calm and plan your exit. Don't give in to 'letting it all out'. Narcissists don't forget and they like revenge. Your 'outing' of him or her adds to his narcissistic injury. A narcissist needs to look good in front of others and you gain nothing by proving he is not the best, smartest, wealthiest, most capable person he wants tobe seen as.



What do you think about ''He or she will make you pay ....they dont forget and they like revenge....''



I just took a big revenge on the guy in my life with NPD (not nice of me), we havent been in touch for a week or so...it seems like he really hates me..I was suprised after my last act that I never heard any response to that whatsoever...In a way, not surprising, cos people with NPD, you cannot predict behaviour. Is his revenge perhaps, that he pretends I dont exist anymore (dont hurt me, so a bad revenge it is indeed)

Experiences?
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Re: Revenge

Postby Chucky » Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:36 am

Paola,

I think that what I have already learned - and should apply to your future experiences - that even seeking revenge is not the way to go with regard to a person with NPD. No matter what you say to them, they will always turn things around to make them seem like the victim and/or that they are better than you. So, I prefer the 'simply moving on' approach. Whenever i encounter a person who seems to have NPD these days, I regard them as being 'outside' my zone of inluence. Thus, no matter what they do, I disregard it as nonsense and as something that will never bother me in my life.

Kevin
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Re: Revenge

Postby Phoenixrising81704 » Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:07 pm

So you did something malicous out of spite and your worried that person will counterattack? Why not avoid the whole situation and not do it in the first place, you deserve whatever you get.
Because here the victims become the monsters and need the help.
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Re: Revenge

Postby Smacster » Fri Jan 15, 2010 5:35 pm

Him pretending you don't exist would be a defense mechanism employed by him (Dissociation) to prevent himself from killing you.

That's a healthy response from him. But he will never let his guard down around you again, so if he really is NPD, you have no chance of winning any "round 2".
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Re: Revenge

Postby Paola » Sat Jan 16, 2010 9:23 am

Smacster wrote:Him pretending you don't exist would be a defense mechanism employed by him (Dissociation) to prevent himself from killing you.



He is a surgeon, he does really like to cut.. :mrgreen:

That's a healthy response from him. But he will never let his guard down around you again, so if he really is NPD, you have no chance of winning any "round 2".


HEALTHY?? :-))

To be honest, I know its kind of dangerous..but this was already round 2 (I ''dumped'' him before). I think there might be a chance for round three (but perhaps he will kill me that round...???) Could be, after all, he is a man, he just likes the sex a little too much. Just the powerful feeling (I admit it) I have had...I won 2 rounds, from him, he knows it...and me too...
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Re: Revenge

Postby Smacster » Sat Jan 16, 2010 9:36 am

Haha, sometimes I really laugh out loud hard at what I write, this being a great example.
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Re: Revenge

Postby Paola » Sat Jan 16, 2010 10:00 am

Smacster wrote:Haha, sometimes I really laugh out loud hard at what I write, this being a great example.


yes me too, lol, what you write, what I write...the whole damn thing really.
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Re: Revenge

Postby Paola » Sat Jan 16, 2010 10:02 am

Phoenixrising81704 wrote:So you did something malicous out of spite and your worried that person will counterattack? Why not avoid the whole situation and not do it in the first place, you deserve whatever you get.


No, thats not what I was asking for here. I was wondering about other peoples experiences.
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Re: Revenge

Postby Serendipity » Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:23 pm

Paola wrote:
Phoenixrising81704 wrote:So you did something malicous out of spite and your worried that person will counterattack? Why not avoid the whole situation and not do it in the first place, you deserve whatever you get.


No, thats not what I was asking for here. I was wondering about other peoples experiences.


In my own case, I found that forgetting and moving on was indeed the best source of revenge. I now live a happy life and am once again the person I was before my experience. For awhile, this "revenge" was sweet, because he is now, once again, the unhappy person he always was.

But oddly enough, with time and understanding of NPD....I now actually feel sorry for my ex. Not sorry enough to ever enmesh myself again...but sorry that his life is the way it is. I also feel a little bit ashamed that I even needed revenge. It's not a part of me I ever want to see again!
"Battle not with monsters
lest ye become a monster
and if you gaze into the abyss
the abyss gazes into you."

-Friedrich Nietzsche
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Re: Revenge

Postby Paola » Sat Jan 16, 2010 7:31 pm

Serendipity wrote:
In my own case, I found that forgetting and moving on was indeed the best source of revenge. I now live a happy life and am once again the person I was before my experience. For awhile, this "revenge" was sweet, because he is now, once again, the unhappy person he always was.

But oddly enough, with time and understanding of NPD....I now actually feel sorry for my ex. Not sorry enough to ever enmesh myself again...but sorry that his life is the way it is. I also feel a little bit ashamed that I even needed revenge. It's not a part of me I ever want to see again!


Actually, I totally agree, I am against revenge, taking revenge on someone (with or without a PD) is not the way to handle things, in general. As I stated above, in my first post, I was wondering about experiences with revenge from the person who has N. Not my revenge (this is not what we should discuss really, IMHO). Im specifically talking about revenge tactics of people who have NPD.
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