I've been reading a bit on here and found it useful, would like some advice.
I think my ex was a narcissist, and wanted to ask thoughts on that, and if it's normal to find it so difficult to get over the break-up.
Reason I thought he may be is:
-- He talked about himself constantly, he'd cut over my conversation as well as others
-- Was excessively charming, when first together he told me "I was perfect", I used to tell him that I wasn't and one day he'd realise that
-- He didn't like me having male friends, even gay ones, would rage about people I was close to
-- Was very clingy if we went out to a bar, would hang off me and accused me of looking at people, unless it was a nightclub where he'd flirt with other women in front of me
-- He'd only talk about our relationship if it was something he wanted to talk about
-- He had little empathy, after my mother died I told him he didn't give me enough support, his reply was that "other people hurt too" and "didn't I think that he was stressed"
-- He had a row and left me for a while just after she died, he did this by text message, saying "now isn't a good time for this but when is it ever?"
-- He was very vain, fanatical about his body, trained constantly, would tell me what to eat/what not to eat
-- Liked to tell me about all the women he could possibly get, and that if we split up he'd soon move on
-- Intelligent guy, very traumatic upbringing but became a teacher eventually, however he got fired (blamed it on his boss) same thing happened with other jobs
-- Likes to talk about feeling sorry for those who weren't as attractive as him, he'd say things like "I feel sorry for those people over there having to see us kissing".
-- I did get back with him for a short while, he moved in with me, and he drove me mad, wanted attention all the time
-- He started talking about an ex he'd previously called "mad" and a "stalker", when I questioned him on this he told me she was a nice girl
-- I went through his emails and he'd been emailing her and other exes, telling them how great they were
-- His explanation was as he hadn't physically cheated it was fine, and at least she made his ego feel better
By this point, I got rid of him. But when he left he told me the reason as to why he'd split with his other partners, they'd all caught him doing the same thing, calling, emailing other women, and that with one of them he'd been trying to re-start a relationship with the other. I didn't get why he told me this, I think he knew it was over.
The reason I think he wasn't a narcissist is that he also shoved me around a few times, threatened to kill me once. Plus, I wasn't sure if narcissists could be clingy when around you (constant affection).
I know, I'm so better off out of there, I've blocked emails and won't ever go back, but finding it difficult at the moment. I don't get it.. I was only with him for a year, and we broke up 4 months ago.My personal circumstances aren't great, will be a couple of months before they are. Just started therapy, the therapist doesn't really want to talk about him, she wants to focus on me.
I just wanted to see if anyone has been in a similar situation, does it take a bit? I guess it doesn't matter what he was, I'm just obsessing a bit at the moment.
Any advice good.