Phoenixrising81704 wrote: The tone of your post implies heavily that you are still very much influenced by your ex. Don't give him that much power, he's forgotten you and despite you feeling good about your actions, he's still in control. He is still influencing your actions. Yes he was this and he was that, but you can see that, you feel hurt, guess what that gives you something he will never have. Take consolation in that. (I am curious as hell as to what feelings feel like and it pisses me off that I don't know) Take from it and learn, realize how strong a person you are (he didn't make you, just forced you to see it) and thank him for it. In summary don't let him be a negative influence on you, turn everything to a positive light and you will indeed have won.
I agree with every word of this.
sfguy75x Have you noticed that the pissed off ex's come on here decrying N's all the while treating all of us like we did it to them personally, and to make it even better they treat us the same way they were treated and its ok now
I'll let sfguy respond to this, but wanted to say that I decry depersonalization and objectification of others. I've experienced that firsthand all my life from my NPD parent. I will not do it to another person. It's a personal dignity thing with me.
I understand what drives Lilly to say "it" but I do not condone it and it is morally objectionable to me.
It also holds her hostage to her ex, imo. Just as my saying "the mother" did for me in my past.
She may think it is detaching... I say it is not. It serves quite the opposite function psychologically.