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Narcissism & Substance Abuse

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Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby Normal? » Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:21 pm

Hi everyone

I'm new here and would like to pick you brains about the link between Narcissism and Substance Abuse.

Which comes first - the Narcissism or the Drugs? Any thoughts?
Last edited by Normal? on Wed Mar 03, 2010 10:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
This should have been a noble creature:
A goodly frame of glorious elements,
Had they been wisely mingled; as it is,
It is an awful chaos—light and darkness,
And mind and dust, and passions and pure thoughts,
Mix’d, and contending without end or order,
All dormant or destructive.
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby Chucky » Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:43 am

Hi,

You know what - You'd think there'd be a link, wouldn't you? However, in my experience, I don't recall ever hearing about a Narc who was also a drug abuser. In my view, they are typically seen as males who have been spoiled in their youths by their parents (mainly mother); but there are genetic factors too. So - no - I've never heard of a Narc who is also a substance abuser. I don't deny that they are out there though.
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby shivers » Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:50 am

Don't rule out the idea that recreational drug use, where it has 'image' attached to it that the narc would not frequently imbibe.

However, if you can picture the stereotypical drug user, which is one that is often displayed as being unwell, unkempt, probably homeless, living in squalor, thieving or prostituting themselves for the next hit - then I'd have to say, no, you're not likely to find any NPD's living a life like that.
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby danica » Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:39 am

I'm sure it's possible .. but their need for control of their environment is SO fierce that this in itself is almost like an addiction. They say the one thing that separates a narcissist from a psychopath is the ability to control impulses and consider the consequences of their actions in terms of it affecting themselves. I'm no expert but it would be my guess that the narcissism itself is their own drug, their supply being the high.
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby LifeSong » Fri Jun 19, 2009 3:46 am

Are we talking about 'young' narcissists? Those still with their good looks or good clothes or good careers or good charm?
Maybe not.
But my mother (diagnosed NPD) began to use opiates, and alcohol and recreational drugs as she got older and began to lose the things that she'd always traded on for the attention she required.
Age may be a factor here. How many older narcissists do you know?
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby Normal? » Fri Jun 19, 2009 2:07 pm

Hi everyone

Thanks for your thoughts. I agree with Danica r.e. Narcs controlling their environment. The thing about heroin though is that many users take it for that very reason: - it is one aspect of their life that they can control, when all else appears to be beyond their influence. In a way nothing matters any more as long as they can get their drugs.
Last edited by Normal? on Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby Chucky » Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:44 pm

Normal? wrote:Hi everyone

Thanks for your thoughts. I agree with Danica r.e. Narcs controlling their environment. The thing about heroin though is that many users take it for that very reason: - it is one aspect of their life that they can control, when all else appears to be beyond their influence. In a way nothing matters any more as long as they can get their drugs. Yet there’s also something reckless about it isn’t there – something destructive and a bit ‘dirty’ and like you I don’t associate that with Narcs. However my ex is full of grand notions of his own ‘strength’ and willpower as he ‘survived’ the drug abuse and apparently no-one else in the world has ever given up drugs apart from him? He’s very self-congratulatory about it (and conveniently forgets that he got himself into the situation in the first place – that’s all someone else’s fault). He refused therapy – as far as he is concerned they ‘don’t know how to deal’ with someone like him.

His years as a drug user also seems to justify (for him) why he is like he is now: - an isolated, under-achieving child-man with no possessions, a crappy job and no close friends to speak of. Had it not been for heroin, obviously, he would be the Chairman of Shell and living in a penthouse suite at the Ritz!

I think the need to fill up some kind of emptiness inside is what leads people to opiates – and a desire to quell anxiety – especially in your teenage years (when he started using). I suppose that fits with the Narc personality? If the facade of the False Self got too difficult to uphold then Heroin could well be a ‘way out’ of that? It certainly elicits attention/sympathy and a sense of entitlement now.

Sorry – thinking out loud! So many of his characteristics fit with the Narc profile except this and it makes me doubt myself.

Are you being too harsh on him, maybe? I just got the sudden thought that maybe he has had a rough life and is feeling somewhat ashamed of how he dealt with it. Deep down, he might very well know that it's his own fault for letting the drug abse get to him, and therefore his own fault for turning out the way he is. I dunno... ...this case is just a lot different from the usual 'Narc' cases that we get here! :)
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby Normal? » Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:13 pm

Hi Chucky

I often think the same:- that I'm being hard on him too. I fluctuate between feeling sympathetic and feeling angry. He treated me badly - emotionally, financially, etc and I suppose I'm just looking for an answer as to why - I'm confused.
Last edited by Normal? on Wed Mar 03, 2010 10:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
This should have been a noble creature:
A goodly frame of glorious elements,
Had they been wisely mingled; as it is,
It is an awful chaos—light and darkness,
And mind and dust, and passions and pure thoughts,
Mix’d, and contending without end or order,
All dormant or destructive.
Normal?
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby Chucky » Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:24 pm

Hi,

I'll be honest in saying that I was once like him (excluding the drugs and stuff). So, I kind of know what his trail of thoughts are. Whilst you should never be too kind to him, I think that you can perhaps help him and direct him to a better life. At the moment, he may very well just be 'lost' and the only reason why he is continuing to criticise/hurt others is because he's getting away with it. I'm always scared to tell people to talk to someone like him about getting better though, because I know that he would most likely not listen to a word you have to say. Therefore, the alternative is to hand him documents/print-offs of articles that you think could help him.

You also have to remember that most guys - in general - hate admitting that they have flaws. It takes a lot for them to simply let go of the fact that they have problems.
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Re: Narcissism & Substance Abuse

Postby Normal? » Sat Jun 20, 2009 11:45 am

Hi Chucky

Thanks for giving me the 'other side' of the issue and for your honesty:- much appreciated.
Last edited by Normal? on Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
This should have been a noble creature:
A goodly frame of glorious elements,
Had they been wisely mingled; as it is,
It is an awful chaos—light and darkness,
And mind and dust, and passions and pure thoughts,
Mix’d, and contending without end or order,
All dormant or destructive.
Normal?
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1218
Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:59 pm
Local time: Sat Oct 25, 2014 2:44 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

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