Normal? wrote:Hi everyone
Thanks for your thoughts. I agree with Danica r.e. Narcs controlling their environment. The thing about heroin though is that many users take it for that very reason: - it is one aspect of their life that they can control, when all else appears to be beyond their influence. In a way nothing matters any more as long as they can get their drugs. Yet there’s also something reckless about it isn’t there – something destructive and a bit ‘dirty’ and like you I don’t associate that with Narcs. However my ex is full of grand notions of his own ‘strength’ and willpower as he ‘survived’ the drug abuse and apparently no-one else in the world has ever given up drugs apart from him? He’s very self-congratulatory about it (and conveniently forgets that he got himself into the situation in the first place – that’s all someone else’s fault). He refused therapy – as far as he is concerned they ‘don’t know how to deal’ with someone like him.
His years as a drug user also seems to justify (for him) why he is like he is now: - an isolated, under-achieving child-man with no possessions, a crappy job and no close friends to speak of. Had it not been for heroin, obviously, he would be the Chairman of Shell and living in a penthouse suite at the Ritz!
I think the need to fill up some kind of emptiness inside is what leads people to opiates – and a desire to quell anxiety – especially in your teenage years (when he started using). I suppose that fits with the Narc personality? If the facade of the False Self got too difficult to uphold then Heroin could well be a ‘way out’ of that? It certainly elicits attention/sympathy and a sense of entitlement now.
Sorry – thinking out loud! So many of his characteristics fit with the Narc profile except this and it makes me doubt myself.