HI mumu, there's not really enough information in your post to be helpful.
It appears to be full of contradictions which indicates to me that you are unclear as to what he's about. You say he's angry and abusive towards you over the sex topic, but then you say that appears to be ok, as it's his only fault. Well, sex is actually a big issue in a relationship, and if you're not compatible in that area, then problems in other areas may stem from it.
You say he 'encourages you to go out', well, not encouraging you to go out has nothing to do with NPD anyway, it's not a factor in your question. Yes, some guys who would be classed as NPD can be controlling of their partner's outings, but this is not always the case.
You could look at it this way. If he's unable to negotiate or talk reasonably about the sex issue then what other issues does he not let you talk to him about on a serious level? Seeing as you consider him to be an overall 'loving' guy, it could be that you've not really had the need to challenge him on other issues other than sex. Have you challenged his need for porn, as an example, does he get angry over that? Another thing to think about, is if you are interpreting his loving, cuddly and loving ways as actually being controlling ways. For instance, if you are out say in a party, is he there hovering, with his arm over your shoulder, or making sure you're not really left alone when speaking with any other guy. You may be surprised to learn that this is not actually loving and trusting behaviour, but a control issue. Give it some thought, and if you feel the need to re-post with more info, then you may get some more suggestions.