NObody's Jo wrote:
And a narc most definately doesn't "get" someone when they are attempting to transmit warmth, kindness, appeal to their higher sense of self , discuss grief, sharing feelings with them.
Certainly not because they lack in intelligence. But perhaps because their intelligence is hindered because of lack of empathy.
I think that it depends on how we define intelligence, and for what purpose we need to use it for.
Let's take astronomy, physics, where the interactions are between inanimate objects. (for the sake of this example) What a Narc could deduce from planetary constellations, chemical reactions etc, could be proof for a higher IQ.
Interestingly my NP has a real intuitive sense with animals for example. She has a sixth sense when it comes to dog training or interacting with animals.
It is almost the only communication channel where she is 99% effective. Human communication and understanding is another story.
However, I have realised that it is not LACK of EMPATHY, but rather the LACK OF EXPRESSING empathy that applies. It seems that she actually understands how I feel, but she will not act upon the option to express it.
When an old lady trips in a shopping mall, with all her carrier bags, there are always a few people who choose to come to her aid. Some walk by, but do not help. Why? They surely have empathy, but choose not to help.
On a final note, we can argue that if Narcs possessed higher IQ values, and understood the implications of their self destructive behavior, (which they most probably do) their intelligence would enable them to find a "cure" for the disorder. Neither Sam Vankin, nor any other semi-rehabilitated Narc has come up with a real solution yet. Diabetes, Alcoholism, and drug addiction can be treated. Narcissism cannot.
Are the lacking basic intelligence??