If you tell the Narc that you love her, she is secretly laughing at you.
Because loving her the way she is, would show, that you have an abnormal, twisted mind. How can you love somebody, who does not give a toss about you??? Weird...
So, she does understand the concept of love! Knowing what is not what is should be, implies knowing what it is.
Rationalising your love is giving sympathy to an emotionally damaged person.
Living it, is another story. Ignoring her, and forgiving her constantly without any need for appreciation, can turn a good person into a monster. If you react to her cruel behavior, you're dead meat in no time.