Trust

Do you grant trust to anyone?

Has there been anyone in your life who has consistently come through for you?

Can you be trusted?

For me there are many levels of trust.

I can trust people I have known for a long time and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but I think I do that because I depend on myself mostly. I think I'm always trying to figure out how not to depend on anyone.

I believe the main currency I use to create a relationship of relative trust is by being trustworthy. Like I can be so trustworthy that others will return the behavior. But I never really let the guard completely down.

Do you grant trust to anyone?
To anyone? No, I am selective.
But is there anyone I grant trust to? Yes, a number of people have demonstrated to me, over time, that I can trust them, and I do.

Has there been anyone in your life who has consistently come through for you?
Yes. I wish it was my family, but my family have patterns of letting me and others and themselves down over and over.

Can you be trusted?
Mostly. I keep promises and confidences and other things that rely on trust. If I say something, I keep my word. My immediate family trusts me and I would do nothing to breach that trust. I am a good friend to my few friends. But I also know that people have odd or excessive expectations so there have been times where I've heard "I trusted you" as an indictment when all I'd done was failed to match up to their unreasonable expectations.

Kimera wrote:Do you grant trust to anyone?

I think this is a hard question. My normal schizoid self would just say "No" and move on, while yawning abotu such a boring human request lol. But then I am wondering what is trust exactly and how far does it go. I certainly dont feel any need for emotional intimacy, closeness or a person to hold my secrets, I have dissociated myself so far from the [need for a] container side of the container-contained, that I dont even see the use for trust, in the same way that I mostly just stare in disbelief at so many humans apparent necessity to "share", or to "talk" or to "gossip". On the other hand side trust for me is a bit more broad, I like to trust in your not contradicting yourself for example.

Has there been anyone in your life who has consistently come through for you?

I'm not aware.

Can you be trusted?

Absolutely. In terms of confidentiality I'm maybe a bit too much like a firewall, you need to explicitly open ports first, else I might undershare information because of not being sure what is too private. But then I live too disconnected from society to be in such situations usually.

1) Not really, my life is and has been a furtive thing, and I'd go as far as to say unnecessarily. There's no reason to for me to be trusting. Even if things point to the idea that someone can be trusted, I simply play it safe, perhaps I always expect the worst of all people. It's better to be safe than sorry. I've trusted people with things, information, before, albeit I was younger and sillier, and in my life I have been sold down the river, blackmailed, all of which required a grand retaliation that expended a lot of energy and put me in risky situations. I always get vengeance, and not without animosity. I think Aku did a good explanation, maybe more concise than my ramblings. My whole life I've kept everything to myself, I trust me, good sirs.

2) Not too sure, maybe when I was younger Old Mother, but perhaps I idealize that, maybe I don't know her well enough to know, given how my life is and was a secret from her. But for the sake of this here, I'll name her as one. I often think the fact that I lack empathy, hate human touch( unless it's with a companion of my choosing, and will have benefit- admiration, confiding, "supply", sexual pleasure, so on and so forth) and do not tolerate it, and my unemotionality and coldness towards people made her like me less. Who knows on this one. Don't like thinking about it. I often question whether I have the capacity to love, and the only way I know to discover it, is the day my parents perish, but I don't want that to happen, but it's inevitable and on that day we shall see, for if that thing, that "emotion", that sensation exists in me, I will know then. I'm babbling. I don't know this one. My form of "love", is a logical, unsaid and unspoken given, and it hasn't ever been spoken of by me, and I've assumed Old Mum can just assume it's true about me instead of insulting my way of life and personality. She says I am anti-family and too cold, and I can't say whether that's true or not because my emotional range in that aspect is narrower than a one way bicycle bridge.

3). I could lie and say yes, but my behavior proves not. I can, however, hold others secrets, oh yes, I can be listful and am a secrets bank. However people have trusted me and I have done things that snap it in an instant, seemingly for no reason, maybe it was pleasure. I don't care about meeting expectations that humans have for me, specifically in a relationship. People are often on a utility scale, oh yes, and when their utility dwindles they are goners for me. Perhaps I've, in the past, for now I am not on the hunt, viewed people sortof as toys or items. A part of me simply turns off and I can dehumanize people fantastically. This has its pros and cons. Come to think of it perhaps I sometimes hyperhumanize people so I can squeeze more out of them, if that makes any sense at all.

I don't know why it's all so confusing for me. A non knows all of this and can explain it in 1/10 the effort and wordiness.

curiousjane wrote:I can trust people I have known for a long time and I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but I think I do that because I depend on myself mostly. I think I'm always trying to figure out how not to depend on anyone.

Agree, there are many layers of trust. I was curious where people would take the question.

Trust does create a certain degree of dependency on another, depending on what you've entrusted them with.

A longer term dependency might be sharing a bank account with your significant other, or sharing highly personal information, like a diagnosis. But there are shorter term dependencies, like, if you own a pet, trusting your neighbor to watch it for you.

Are there certain things you are more or less willing to depend on people for?

Eight wrote:Yes, a number of people have demonstrated to me, over time, that I can trust them, and I do.

What happens if the trust is breached?

Akuma wrote:But then I live too disconnected from society to be in such situations usually.

Does trust (or lack of) play a role in your being detached?

big Anatoly wrote:There's no reason to for me to be trusting.

It's hard to go through life not being able to depend on anyone. Do you think you can discern who can be trusted and who can't?

K I don't think I am all too adept at making those observations, I mean on a ultra basic level yes and with the more superficial things, but true trust? Perhaps I haven't known the correct person. It'd be marvelous to have one that wouldn't mind the atrocities (maybe a hyperbole) I've acted out, or at least accepted them instead of retching or running for the hills. Maybe that's too much fantasy but surely someone like this exists, and can be something like spellbound by me and have that fact last. Oh how I'd like to eternally beguile someone.... it's lasted once two years and I think I had trust but this person was the paragon of impulsiveness and need for cradling like a little baby, so you can infer how my trust came back to bite me in the arse.

I think, when I was naive-er, that my higher level of trust led me astray! So no I can't quite make that descernation( is that a word?).

How about you Kimera? Answer for yourself! Are you in the midst of a trust problemo right now?

big Anatoly wrote:Maybe that's too much fantasy but surely someone like this exists, and can be something like spellbound by me and have that fact last. Oh how I'd like to eternally beguile someone.... it's lasted once two years and I think I had trust but this person was the paragon of impulsiveness and need for cradling like a little baby, so you can infer how my trust came back to bite me in the arse.

Maybe that's the issue with Cluster B's -- it's all good until it's not. And then the regret creeps in on what's been shared......

big Anatoly wrote:I think, when I was naive-er, that my higher level of trust led me astray! So no I can't quite make that descernation( is that a word?).

It is now. I'm going to start cataloguing the big A dictionary of terms and phrases. The rest of the world will pay be handsomely for this when you've taken over.

big Anatoly wrote:How about you Kimera? Answer for yourself! Are you in the midst of a trust problemo right now?

Trust has been an issue my whole life. When you learn as a kid that your parents can't be trusted, is it possible to place trust in anyone?

I think I posted this awhile back.....not sure....I was at a dinner party with friends and chatting with a British gentleman -- someone I greatly admire and respect for his thoughtful intelligence. Somehow we got on to this topic of trust, and he said he trusts everyone, without giving it a moments thought. I asked him if he'd been taken advantage of, or let down in anyway? He laughed and said "Of course I have! But I'd rather be taken advantage of than to lose my trust in people." For him, the ability to simply just trust in people was more valuable than anything he could lose by misplacing his trust.

He probably hasn't been hurt, betrayed and in pain enough to break him . everyone can break and has a limit .is easy to be a smartass of your ability to trust everyone when you have been loved.
This is what i mean when i say nons are unable to empathize and understand sometimes

-- Mon Sep 04, 2017 4:19 pm --

When your parents teach you that you can not trust anyone but your family and your family hurts you too and is not trustworthy.

K, I'm on mobile, for I am traveling, thus each paragraph/ enter key will address each of the points, because quoting is too much of a nuisance.

I would certainly second that. I like that, it's all good until it's not. That's repeated quite a few times in my relatively short life.



Ah, that makes me grin, certainly! I've always enjoyed contriving new sounds, of all sorts! And others enjoying them? Even more enjoyable.


No, probably not. Too early was it reinforced that humans equal danger, even if you can't see it. Like if you raise cats in an environment devoid of horizontal lines, they have an inability to perceive it. And like that Brit, he probably had trust reinforced a lot from birth till at least puberty, I hypothesize. Some people simply have a prowess for rebounding easily, a sort of convalescence? Maybe people strong with largesse and altruism themselves simply have an affinity for trust.