Compulsive false self

Hello
I think i might be a narcissist as I have created a false self which is totally grandiose and irrealistic. The thing that made me look for help is that it is compulsive so I am totally stressed out, anxious, have insomnia and I'm unable to cope with any life problems because I have to be in constant alert and it consumes all my energy. I consider everyone as a threat to my fragile false self. The good thing is that I actually became consciouss of it lately. I consider myself to be the most attractive, important and almost perfect person. I think it may be compensatory as deep inside I feel worthless.
Have you got any advice on how to substitute that fake self with my real one? Step by step or radically?
Therapist told me that I'm "on the good way and do not need her help" but frankly speaking I'm a bit lost. Thanks for any suggestions.

If your therapist said that she is not a therapist.

I have no clue mate. The logic behind it is, if I had the answers, would I be here on PF? Not really.

Hello,

Did something trigger your stress / anxiety? Is it recent?

ill wrote:Hello
I think i might be a narcissist as I have created a false self which is totally grandiose and irrealistic. The thing that made me look for help is that it is compulsive so I am totally stressed out, anxious, have insomnia and I'm unable to cope with any life problems because I have to be in constant alert and it consumes all my energy. I consider everyone as a threat to my fragile false self. The good thing is that I actually became consciouss of it lately. I consider myself to be the most attractive, important and almost perfect person. I think it may be compensatory as deep inside I feel worthless.
Have you got any advice on how to substitute that fake self with my real one? Step by step or radically?
Therapist told me that I'm "on the good way and do not need her help" but frankly speaking I'm a bit lost. Thanks for any suggestions.

Were you honest with your therapist? I won't tell a therapist the truth because that will make me too vulnerable. I also enjoy manipulating them because I think they're so basic. Anyway, the false self is usually created in childhood, not adulthood. You sound like you have a lot of anxiety and possibly paranoia? Delusional? I don't know. You need to find a therapist who will work with you to discover what's wrong so that you can get therapy, and possibly medication, to work on it. Remember though, you HAVE to be honest with your therapist or you're just going in circles.

I was 100% honest with my therapist. I had enough of this crap and want to be finally free and happy. I get stressed in situations when people may see that I am not my false self. I can't be dominated and can't stand people who appear to be more imporant or higher in any sense than me. I always have to be on the top. I also get very stressed about the fact that i can't resolve this problem. I had a mindshift twice when I came to the conslusion that I have a right to be respected no matter what and I have a intrinsic self- worth like all people. At these moments my worries disappeared. But after a few days I stopped believing this and the stress returned.

Well, no one here can tell you if you have NPD, if that's what you're looking for. It sounds like you've got a good idea about what your issues are, so that's a start. The therapist who dismissed you and your concerns did you a favor -- you could've wasted a lot of time and money with her. Find one who is competent and takes you seriously.

I just hoped that someone had a simmilar issue and coud give me some tips on what should I do now.
I came to the conclusion that I need that false self to compensate, to feel worthy. It definitely has some purpose. I think I need to understand that both selves - the false and the realistic one have the same worth and I have my human dignity no matter what. By doing that I would not need the false one no more because it wouldn't give me more "right to exist" than the real one.
And forgot to tell you - I'm from an Eastern European village - there aren't many good therapists frankly speaking. That's why I'm trying to work it out on my own.

I see, you are hoping that someone here has a recipe you can follow to shed your false self and find your real one. Unfortunately there's no manual or 12-step program for this kind of stuff. Most of us developed issued stemming from childhood trauma. Is that your situation? Are you an adult or a teen?

I'm 23. A bit neglected emotionally by father (totally shut down all his positive emotions, treats everyone as inferior) but I do not know if that's the cause.

Well, if finding a good therapist isn't really an option for you, then I suggest you make an investment in things that will build a more positive and stable sense of self worth. Real accomplishments that are meaningful to you, as opposed to the inflated ones of the false self.