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Drowning from lack of supply

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Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Unicornsparkles642 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:16 am

I just keep feeling crazier and crazier. I am trying so hard to cope with my narcissism and BPD. The more I fight to "be normal" (and morally adept) the more I feel like part of me is dying and I am deeply unhappy. When I let my narcissism rear it's head and let my mouth fly, I am happy in all my charisma. I feel like I am murdering myself internally lately. So hateful of my dysfunctions and so aware of them. I want to go nuts and start dating and having sex with so many people but I stop myself for the sake of my two young kids. I have to model healthy behavier and it is so incredibly difficult. The loss of the pursuit is killing me as is the loss of excitement and rush of it. Life is getting so boring without taking risks and living on the edge. I want to explode. I am craving the dramatic lifestyle and need some coping tools.
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Akuma » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:07 am

Sounds like you need to level up your distress tolerance.
Are you in a DBT group?
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby xlostintranslationx » Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:58 am

May be obvious advice, but you could try to focus it into something more productive for yourself. Like exercise, whatever hobby or work motivation etc. And sort of reframe it so you get a thrill from that instead. I do that with my rage sometimes anyway and it can help. And also I'm always trying to reframe my narcisism or how I get my 'supply' to be more productive for me in that I feel better about it and it could help me long term. For example focussing more on self-improvement to be more perfect, being ambitious about the future etc. rather than succumbing to a quick fix which may just make me annoyed after or cause problems anyway and not be worth it etc. I think it could help with boredom too. Don't know if that could apply in your case though?
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Unicornsparkles642 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 11:47 am

xlostintranslationx wrote:May be obvious advice, but you could try to focus it into something more productive for yourself. Like exercise, whatever hobby or work motivation etc. And sort of reframe it so you get a thrill from that instead. I do that with my rage sometimes anyway and it can help. And also I'm always trying to reframe my narcisism or how I get my 'supply' to be more productive for me in that I feel better about it and it could help me long term. For example focussing more on self-improvement to be more perfect, being ambitious about the future etc. rather than succumbing to a quick fix which may just make me annoyed after or cause problems anyway and not be worth it etc. I think it could help with boredom too. Don't know if that could apply in your case though?


I exercise daily and focus on moving forward...i.think sometimes the older I get and the more pressure I have in life, the more my tendencies to narc out flare up. ..out of worry and the need for control.most likely. It's very hard wired in me and I am narcissist without even thinking so it's more of a mental fight to stay aware of it to stop from doing it and the more aware of it I am, the more I hate myself and it seems to get worse. It's a very vicious cycle.

-- Fri Apr 21, 2017 5:48 am --

Akuma wrote:Sounds like you need to level up your distress tolerance.
Are you in a DBT group?


I'm not sure what a DBT group is?
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Akuma » Fri Apr 21, 2017 12:31 pm

I'm not sure what a DBT group is?


You were talking so freely about BPD and NPD I thought u were diagnosed and that with such a diagnosi a therapist / doctor would also give you some information what you can do about it.
DBT is kind of the standard one for BPD . At least here there is also Skills / Skill-Training groups that are offered in clinics for exampel where you can just go no strings attached. Maybe check around if theres something like that where you live, too. There should also be books on the subject for self-help purposes. Last but not least for DBT experience(s) I guess the BPD subforum here on PsychForums will have people who can share.
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Unicornsparkles642 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:19 pm

Akuma wrote:
I'm not sure what a DBT group is?


You were talking so freely about BPD and NPD I thought u were diagnosed and that with such a diagnosi a therapist / doctor would also give you some information what you can do about it.
DBT is kind of the standard one for BPD . At least here there is also Skills / Skill-Training groups that are offered in clinics for exampel where you can just go no strings attached. Maybe check around if theres something like that where you live, too. There should also be books on the subject for self-help purposes. Last but not least for DBT experience(s) I guess the BPD subforum here on PsychForums will have people who can share.


We call it cognitive behavioral therapy and I can't afford professional sessions although I have been diagnosed.
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Akuma » Fri Apr 21, 2017 6:28 pm

Oh that sucks. DBT and CBT arent the same though. DBT was specifically designed to be useful for pwBPD, especially a set of skills to practice outside of therapy.
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Unicornsparkles642 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 8:03 pm

Akuma wrote:Oh that sucks. DBT and CBT arent the same though. DBT was specifically designed to be useful for pwBPD, especially a set of skills to practice outside of therapy.


II struggle with narcissism which they use cpd and don't know much about bpd. Is one a derivative of the other?
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Re: Drowning from lack of supply

Postby Akuma » Sat Apr 22, 2017 3:38 am

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