Our partner

Telling people about your NPD

Narcissistic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Telling people about your NPD

Postby Shanzik » Mon Mar 27, 2017 6:56 pm

How many people in your life know about your PD?
How do you choose who to tell?
Did you even tell anyone? Do you think keeping it a secret from the closest people in your life is disrupting your relationship with them in any way?

What are the positive and what the negative traits of confiding in someone about your NPD?
Shanzik
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 316
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:02 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 4:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby Lusid » Mon Mar 27, 2017 7:09 pm

My gf, brother and a friend knows. Some other people in my life should be suspecting it but I dunno how seriously they take it.

I told my gf pretty early cause that was the deal I made with myself if I was gonna date someone again. I'm sick of people thinking they know me and then accuse me of being a lying psycho once I do something that contradicts their image of me. I don't need the drama and I wanna feel accepted for who I am. Obviously despite my problems I can still be a good partner for the right person. Same thing with my brother, we've always been open about everything and the rest of our family is useless in the support department so we try to help each other. He's understanding and listens to me even if he doesn't get it.

I think everyone at some point want to feel accepted and appreciated for who they are. Isolation makes me unstable and suppressing who I am makes me angry and violent. So it's good to have a place where I can be myself.
Strong ASPD traits with NPD/BPD undertones. Sadist, addict, diagnosed PTSD.
Lusid
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1326
Joined: Sun Jan 17, 2016 2:35 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 4:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby big Anatoly » Mon Mar 27, 2017 7:31 pm

One human knows mostly, and that was the result of a poorly implemented approach on a companion of mine. I'll tell more, but interesting question there shanzik I've thought about posing it in the past and now it's relatively pertinient.
So my companion, she confided that she was a borderline and had ptsd and such, and told a good bit about herself and all that. I said I was within the cluster b and hinted strongly toward npd so she probably knew. This was the WRONG specimen to try total DISCLOSURE to, for it helped the devalue process on her part I think. I won't tell again, surely not. Keep this short, I shall. I think telling her this ensured she wouldn't change her opinion (all black and white thinking bs) on me and kept me from reeling her back in... slippery fish she was ;) I was reading and studying a good bit on disclosure and how it works in interpersonal and therapist settings...
It's funny cause when I travel from my flat many towns over to my old mums place, she will occasionally speak of my father who is also NPD, and kinda babble on about his traits and I find it funny for she often describes me in the process... I often wonder if she has strong knowledge of how I am and hid it from me as I grew into a fine male specimen... sometimes I also really want to chuckle when mother calls me inflammatory or brash or whatnot, I really think she sees my father in me... I looked just like him in his college days.. sometimes I'm very oblivious to myself and have no idea what my surroundings th think of me. She sees the magnificent complexion and wavy jet black hair all real nice and stare into the Black and grey eyes... I actually inherited my pops autosomal dominant trait of heterochromia...
Ok I've gotten way off track sorry shanzikky I'm babbling here.

Anyway I'm forever done with self disclosure unless some outstanding occurrence spurred it.
big Anatoly
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 477
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 10:12 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 7:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby Jasmer » Mon Mar 27, 2017 7:37 pm

My husband, my brother, my mom, and an aunt.

It's not exactly a state secret or anything. If anybody wants to know I'll probably tell them. I just won't tell coworkers or my boss, because obviously it can affect how I'm treated at work and even threaten my employment when I can no longer just have a bad day and everything is "the NPD".

If I told somebody and they withdrew as a result I would simply see it as the unworthy weeding themselves out.
Dx: NPD, PTSD
Jasmer
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1227
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2012 1:28 am
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 7:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby big Anatoly » Mon Mar 27, 2017 7:58 pm

Nice ending remark Jas that is good
big Anatoly
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 477
Joined: Tue Aug 02, 2016 10:12 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 7:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby Shanzik » Mon Mar 27, 2017 10:47 pm

big Anatoly wrote:One human knows mostly, and that was the result of a poorly implemented approach on a companion of mine. I'll tell more, but interesting question there shanzik I've thought about posing it in the past and now it's relatively pertinient.
So my companion, she confided that she was a borderline and had ptsd and such, and told a good bit about herself and all that. I said I was within the cluster b and hinted strongly toward npd so she probably knew. This was the WRONG specimen to try total DISCLOSURE to, for it helped the devalue process on her part I think. I won't tell again, surely not. Keep this short, I shall. I think telling her this ensured she wouldn't change her opinion (all black and white thinking bs) on me and kept me from reeling her back in... slippery fish she was ;)

Anyway I'm forever done with self disclosure unless some outstanding occurrence spurred it.


Yeah, borderlines are very open about their PD, I like that about them. I think she probably already knew you're a narcissist, or at least she had to notice your manipulative side, or some of the other traits. Are you sure it's the disclosure that made her devalue? I have a close BPD friend, splitting is usually reversible, she often switches from idealization to devaluation and then back to idealization, splitting people is not permanent to them. I think.
Shanzik
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 316
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:02 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 4:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby Kimera » Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:19 pm

I really can't think of anything to be gained by sharing this information. And there are definite downsides.

So, no, I don't believe I'd reveal myself to anyone but my therapist.

And you guys, of course. But you're special 8)
NPD
User avatar
Kimera
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:21 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 10:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby Shanzik » Mon Mar 27, 2017 11:54 pm

I watched my BPD friend talk openly to people about her PD and they all got used to it, and accepted it, ones who had no idea about psychology found out what it was, she demistified her PD in a way.

Positive thing about talking about it is - education. If you only knew the articles I found online about NPD in the first few months, you'd tell everyone only to stop them from running into this bs exaggerated half-truths. :mrgreen:
Shanzik
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 316
Joined: Sun Oct 16, 2016 9:02 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 4:18 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby Kimera » Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:14 am

Shanzik wrote:If you only knew the articles I found online about NPD in the first few months, you'd tell everyone only to stop them from running into this bs exaggerated half-truths.

Yeah, NPD could probably benefit from an informed and vocal advocate / activist. If I had any desire to help others I'd jump on that in a heartbeat.
NPD
User avatar
Kimera
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 710
Joined: Sun Mar 12, 2017 5:21 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 10:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Telling people about your NPD

Postby whichway » Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:24 am

Kimera wrote:Yeah, NPD could probably benefit from an informed and vocal advocate / activist. If I had any desire to help others I'd jump on that in a heartbeat.


Some of us are working on it. 8)
Undiagnosed Non :lol:
whichway
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 490
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2015 6:46 pm
Local time: Fri Mar 29, 2024 10:18 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Next

Return to Narcissistic Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 14 guests