NishaTheNightQueen wrote:Thanks for your reply. I get what you mean. It's interesting what you said about how she enjoys challenging people - I can definitely relate to that. Was she competitive by any chance? I'm a very competitive person.
You also said she that likes being in different groups...or groups that she thinks are cool. Was she a very social person? With me, I have very few friends...it might be my choosy nature though because I feel other people don't get me, and most of the people I've met aren't really 'friend' material; or weren't exactly pleasant people/or annoying. If they do one thing to tick me off/or they have an belief/attitude/personality that I don't like then I have no interest in being with them.
I'm not sure if she was competitive in general. Can't remember or who knows what she thinks. But I mean with her appearance, fashion, style, socialising, attention, friendships and especially guys - she definitely focussed on all those things a lot. And I'd say if she was so intent on having (maybe 'winning' idk) those things for herself then perhaps there was some competitive aspect to it. I'm really not sure. But I don't remember her saying it or doing anything which directly implied that. My friend would seem more like she was just doing things because she wanted to more at least compared to some others. Idk though obviously. Maybe my she was just envious of others in a similar way to me but in just in a slightly different way and was just waaay more active about doing something about it. So maybe that's like being competitive? I really don't know. I can't really remember anyway. But obviously everyone's different.
And yeah she was very social. She always had at least one or a small group of close friends though too. She was often meeting new people though and finding new groups too. The people she hung out with would also change quite a lot especially ones she wasn't that close to.
Don't know why I'm sharing this, but here goes....Over the past 2 weeks I've been feeling fine. Everything was going great. I felt like I was wanted. Yet a few days ago, I didn't feel great at all. Quite the opposite. I was in a lot of despair. This one guy who I admired wasn't focusing on me, hardly spoke to me during this one day...and instead seemed more interested in talking to everyone else...and smiled at my guy friend. He is straight, but I kept over-analyzing that smile..like he never did smile in that way when he talked to me......or the way his voice was when he spoke to him...and I don't even know him that well but it ticked me off. I started to become angry and upset, and I cried in the bathroom. I started calling him horrible, ugly names in my head and wished the worst on him. Then a few hours later, when I was in my lectures and the lecturer asked a question to the class, I said an answer. But she said I was 'partly right', and that this other answer I gave was not correct. As she said that to me, 'partly right', I felt angry and tried so hard to control my emotions. I kind of gave a half smile, but there was contempt within it (if that makes sense)...my hands started fiddling with my clothes..it's like i couldn't take it. And I didn't like her after that (normally I like her). It may seem like nothing but it really made me feel like I was nothing. I had to chat to an online suicide website..but that was after a couple of hours of anger and tears. But then, in order to get rid of those feelings (especially with the guy who didn't pay attention to me), I just thought I would transfer those feelings onto someone else...or other people. I started sending messages to other people...maybe who would be interested in me. It was the only way for me to release that pain. I don't why I shared this, maybe to just spill everything out. If something goes wrong in my day or I feel no one is acknowledging me... and if they acknowledge SOMEONE ELSE...it just triggers these feelings. I'm in control of my emotions now because of the fact that I started sending messages to other guys. Although..I know it's unhealthy to do this but maybe it will temporarily help... If I can't get the other guy to notice me, maybe this is a temporary solution. Just thought I'd share this...a bit random.
Well I can also get overly irritated or angry about 'little things'. Maybe for slightly different reasons but still. Also I think I used to be more upset about people not admiring me enough( more similar to how you describe) when I was in college for some reason. I get what you're saying anyway and it sounds quite extreme. I think chatting to guys online afterward is fine as a temporary method. I've probably done things like that too although not being distressed like how you describe but just feeling the need to seek some validation/admiration or 'supply' at certain times like going on a dating site for a couple of days just to read all the messages I get after a breakup for example. But you're right seeing as if you get that upset then it would obviously best to find another coping strategy for that, one which you can do anytime or at least by yourself. Also what if you're ever in a situation where there's no one around and no Internet for example. It sounds difficult.
I guess I could reccomend trying to find something you can do by yourself which helps you calm down and takes your mind off it. Like some hobby you like. For example exercise, art etc. I do stuff like when I get angry sometimes and it can help. I run a lot faster when I'm angry as it's like a way to release that energy I guess. And doing artistic things can be like a way to express myself which can help with anger probably in a similar way. It's like doing something productive just for me as I way to deal with it so it sort of feels like gaining some sense of control back, which I think is a main part of the issue for me I guess. Probably quite obvious advice but I know it can often work.
Also another thing I would do is just re-interpret the situation to be not so bad. So for example with the guy you admire who was giving attention to someone else - I might just choose to think of that as he is probably more shy around me because he admires me more. And feels less shy around the other person because he's not so concerned with impressing them. Things like that. Also you could just think that you obviously don't know what he's really thinking and that it doesn't have to mean anything at all in relation to you or effect whatever relationship or way he feels about you. If that makes sense.
With the teacher's comment, I would just try to focus more on the 'you're right' part. And then for the 'partly' comment you could just take it is you took the initiative to give your answer over anyone else there at that time, and so if you hadn't have done that you wouldn't have made a point which she said was right. And of course you're a student you're there to learn so you can see it as a chance to show that you are 'superior' in a way to be able to be able to accept constructive criticism (well that's something I would think anyway). And that wanting to voice your ideas and being interested in learning more can both be admirable qualities. Rather than if you didn't say anything at all for example. Also of course if you legitimately think that the teacher was unfair about the part she said wasn't quite right, then obviously you can just think she is not right for saying that. And that's her problem not yours. And that you had a good point over the teacher. But if not, then you tried your best and you thought of an idea and chose to share it, maybe it was still a good point in a way and maybe original or something. Those are all just ideas for advice anyway. Based on the overview of the situations you wrote. I don't know if any would apply or be helpful. I'm sure there are other things which could help which I can't think of.
I guess it's still relevant in a way, and useful to know if other people have acted similarly. 
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