How You doing? (+Off topic)

HR_p wrote:I thanked him politely for his time and wished him well.

Congrats HR_p! Proud of you!

I controlled a rage last night. It was someone complaining about some feelings they were having. I started to feel like they were blaming me for their stupid feelings. It started to piss me off and annoy me really bad and I could feel it coming.

How I controlled it...
I remembered that I had gone through a similar situation. Then I tried to think about how did I want other people to treat me during that time. I thought of myself as an actor and giving this person the same attention I wanted for myself at that time.

Well it worked! I didn't feel like getting angry anymore. I realized it wasn't done on purpose to annoy me or bring me down.

I guess this is empathy. What I have noticed is this was very hard. It was incredibly difficult to do this and not just react. Its exhausting. I also think I can only do this when I have actually been in this situation.

Now I have no idea how to do this when I have not been in the situation myself and don't know how I feel. I try. I can try to think about how it feels but I just cant do it. I can see the actions in my head but I cant feel the feelings so the vision just kinda fades off and I don't feel anything.

@jrh592

Well it worked! I didn't feel like getting angry anymore. I realized it wasn't done on purpose to annoy me or bring me down.

Nice, self realization is exactly it (imo)

I guess this is empathy. What I have noticed is this was very hard. It was incredibly difficult to do this and not just react. Its exhausting. I also think I can only do this when I have actually been in this situation.

Exactly, many people can only see if they "know" what it feels like, can relate to that situation, the difference with Empathy (I) can imagine how it could/would feel and then know i wouldn't like it if it happened to me (kind of)

Now I have no idea how to do this when I have not been in the situation myself and don't know how I feel.

My ex didnt know what life with leg pain would be like (for me) until he hurt his
recently he has been a lot more understanding to my situation.

My dog just tore up a bunch of christmas decorations in the yard. I didn't feel like cleaning it up so I just took the shovel and pushed them down into the 2 feet of snow on the ground and hid the evidence.

I'm sad, and feeling like the girl in Titanic who lets go of her lover's hand and watches him sink into the ocean.

Melodramatic, right?

A former colleague and I had lunch yesterday for hours. I've always respected her, and found her a very logical ear...a balance to my sometimes volatile and strong opinions on "the way things should be" whether we are talking life or politics. Kids or pets. When I left 8 months ago, she mentioned that we could finally be real friends, since I was no longer the HR person.

She still works at the same pwNPD place. I know she and pwNPD talk, but I trust her balance.

Yesterday, she said something to me with overtones of pwNPD verbiage. The phrase just didn't sound like something she'd normally say. She asked if I was feeling better and if what ever had made me "overreact" to situations had passed.

I can only assume pwNPD is trying to rewrite history, and my reputation is a goner. But it no longer matters, and I don't want to hear things like this anymore. I spent hours last night pondering ...almost to the point of anger that some person has an impact on me from afar.

So I'm sad and disappointed that I have to let my friend slide into the sea. Part ways.

HR_p wrote:I'm sad, and feeling like the girl in Titanic who lets go of her lover's hand and watches him sink into the ocean.

Wow. That certainly sets the scene. Sorry you're going through this, HR_p. (<-empathy!)

I have a question, and I'm hoping it doesn't make you feel worse. If it does you can scream at me.

Did you ask her why she chose the word "overreact?"

It's such an inflammatory word.

I didn't need to ask her.

I knew.

It was obvious she has to make mental adjustments to reconcile things in her mind, and so I gave her peace. She was repeating something she heard. She still has to work there and respect the guy, or what does she have????

I said, "Oh, yes, I am so much better now that I take my Vitameatavegamin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AZK2-Tfc84

HR_p wrote:I said, "Oh, yes, I am so much better now that I take my Vitameatavegamin.

That goes good with popcorn.

I trust your instinct, that she was under the influence. Although, she showed her true colors earlier:

HR_p wrote:When I left 8 months ago, she mentioned that we could finally be real friends, since I was no longer the HR person.

*raises glass of Vitameatavegamin* Screw the bitch.

Right now I'm sick to my stomach on the shitter. I can't wait to pass out and go to class in the am...

Brief moment of empathy. Profound empathy. I hate it.