Esquire wrote:
I never realized this until perhaps the last couple of years, but I definitely view other people/humanity different from the way that most people view them. I always assumed everyone was like me, and maybe just hiding it, but now I realize that I am objectively different. I think that I objectify other people, and probably living things in general. So, for example, imagine the world as your kitchen. In your kitchen, you have lots of things that you need, and lots of things you probably don't need or at least never use. So there might be a blender, a toaster, a toaster oven, etc. If I need to make myself a smoothie, I'll use the blender. Once I'm done with it, I'll wash it out, so it will be ready for use the next time I need it. Should it cease to work, I might get annoyed, and will probably toss it out, and get a new blender.
So apply that to people. Obviously this isn't an emotion-driven perspective. It doesn't contain a lot of anger, angst, bad feelings, etc. It just sort of is. The negative emotions seem to come into play when the blender breaks, and then I can't make my smoothie, which means I won't get breakfast this morning, which means I'll have a headache by lunchtime. So I might get annoyed with the blender, but at the same time, it's just a blender, so that will pass quickly, and what I'm really mad at is that my day has been ruined, i.e., my own happiness has been thwarted for a moment.
I don't think true NPD involves a desire to do harm to people or living things. It's just that you are singularly self-focused, don't bond or attach to anything, have very limited empathy, and some emotional deficits, and thus view the rest of the world as, "not you." I think once you start to get towards sadism, you're in Malignant Narcissism territory. And when you start to consciously use other people, and/or when you have the desire to harm others, you're more in the AsPD spectrum. Just my two cents.
I never heard somebody put it so clearly and summarize pretty much exactly how I personally feel. The part about feeling like the world is "Not You" really paints a clear picture on how I feel about the world itself, I really thought most people where faking the way they socially felt about others. Anyways I thought your post provided some good insight, and I think it's pretty funny how some people here can describe my thought process without even knowing me.
It's almost like one comes on this board and we keep saying that the world isn't full of "Bas-tards" and that its just part of NPD to assume everyone else has NPD, but when you make posts like this its almost like you get into a paradox because In my head I already assumed most people thought the same way I did, by reading your post obviously it proves that other people around the world share similar ideologies and thinking patterns. The problem is 99.99% of the worlds NPD's won't ever set foot on this forum and one really begins to question how many NPD's we really have floating across our city,state, or country.
I guess the real question is how do you know if it is NPD paranoia to think that others are "plotting,skeeming,and faking" or if it really is good gut instinct to assume that the person you are looking at could potentially be just as bad as you if not worse. How can we truly know for sure that most people aren't plotting inside their head. Maybe I just hang around complete bastards and not everyone in the world is like this, but I just think that the 1-10% estimate might be a little bit higher. Maybe, it has to do with living in an upscale area where N tendencies are common, Ive lived for short periods of time in regular areas and it almost seems like the average person today has no morals,no values, and will ###$ you over as soon as you give them an opportunity. I almost refuse to believe that the majority of people are "Nons" Ive just seen and encountered way too much to just think that its all part of my disorder.
At the end of the day does being a Narcissist even matter if you are getting ###$ over? I see alot of people give Borderlines slack but not a NPD. Why would it even matter to you why someone screwed you over? If I get screwed over I personally could care less for what the persons motives where, all that matters is that I got the short end of the stick and someone has to pay. So while I am consciously and subconsciously manipulating and using people, someone is claiming BPD and doing the same exact thing over a different guise but they get the "pass" because they can't regulate their emotions. Anyone who lets other people step on them regardless of their condition deserves what they get. NPD or not, you simply cannot be placing all your eggs in one basket. Did I lose my ability to feel certain things?Maybe. But the way Ive seen people get played I honestly can't say that I feel any type of remorse for the way I am/the things i do/say to other people. When you are a very young kid It is almost as though you are given two choices to either be a "dick" or a swallower and I think I made my choice as a toddler.
Isn't NPD a rational persons natural reaction to the type of world we live in today?