Am I a narc?/How to become a better narcissist?

Over the past 6 or 7 months I've been coming closer and closer to the conclusion that I am a narcissist. The reason for this post is that I am wondering if its possible to lose the negative effects of narcissism (anxiety, depression, anhedonia) and keep the positive effects. Basically a self-help guide specifically for narcissists would be great... I just read the article by Sam Vaknin called "The Narcissist’s Reaction to Deficient Narcissistic Supply" and it describes what has happened over the past few years of my life very accurately. I have developed derealization which is a very very awful thing which has not gone away (and seems to only be getting worse) for nearly 2 years.

I think after spending a short amount of time with a group of people where I start off overvaluing them, I tend to find flaws and devalue them. This (among other things) makes it hard to find and stick with friends...The isolation only makes the derealization worse.. Another interesting thing that I read on the Sam Vaknin website was the cycles that narcissist go through. It also describes me accurately.. I focus hard on one area of my life and improve it for a while only to gain the sense of power that I needed and fall back and rest until i then lose that sense of power/supply and the cycle starts over.

This post actually might be an example of that cycle starting over. I've just finished finals and don't have much going for me right now so I'm trying to fix myself in order to max my supply. I'm honestly okay being labeled as a narcissist and really deep down just want to live in a perfect world. I've learned that a great deal of powerful people (and people in jail....) have the three "dark triad" traits: narcissism, machiavellianism, and psychopathy...and really I would love to experience life as a high-status, wealthy, powerful individual and wouldn't mind if my being narcissistic (and therefore having to step on/over some people) helped me achieve that...

On the other hand I have a fear that all of what I am saying is me just being an extremely insecure dude and compensating by trying to tell myself I am some narcissistic hotshot with no empathy..or rather i'm a 'nice guy' (no more mr. nice guy by robert glover)

TLDR;

1. If I am a narcissist, I can accept that and actually think its kind of cool but there are drawbacks to the hypersensitivity...is there anything I can do to fix the derealization/mental drawbacks and maximize my n supply? anything to keep the motivation to get n supply up instead of fluctuating?

2. I have tons of grandiose fantasies about being the star of whatever or being the best of whatever but am i actually a narcissist or am i just an insecure guy with no sense of self trying to find one by calling myself a narcissist (and idealizing what that means)

possiblenarcissist_ wrote:I just read the article by Sam Vaknin

Everyone is a Narcissist according to S Vaknin. He has not even a bachelor degree in psychology.

sam's psychopath btw
(he done the pcl-r couple of timesinclueding on the docu i pscyhopath)
and that's a hole other animal
it's like saying a ferari is a car
all ferrai's are cars but not all cars are ferrari's

A better Narcissist like being able to con more people into more consistently giving you the supply you crave?
Create yourself such a steady supply of short-term (external) happiness so you never have to put into the hard work of learning how to be independently happy?

Look for WIN-WINs where people giving you what you want also helps them. Don't be too greedy! And do things like eat the goose that laid golden eggs. ie: Try to milk more and more out of people until they finally realize that they are being used and skip out on you. Milk just the right amount from everyone so they don't realize they are being used, and give back some so they think you are not completely selfish and remain your 'friends' or possessions as pwNPD think of them.



Is this what you really want to live on false happiness? If so fine, Have fun! You may find that in time that eventually you end up feeling hollow. Or you might get lucky and die before you realize that you are just living off borrowed happiness and are actually miserable inside.

If you are ready to figure out how to live off your own happiness and not be dependent on others then we have a few good threads around here. It will takes several months for them to sink in, and another few years of practice before you actually change.

madjoe wrote:sam's psychopath btw
(he done the pcl-r couple of timesinclueding on the docu i pscyhopath)
and that's a hole other animal
it's like saying a ferari is a car
all ferrai's are cars but not all cars are ferrari's

just seen i psychopath again and he actulay scores low on narcisim