Is this how a Narcissist uses revenge tactics?

georgessa wrote:You probably know better than me, but maybe this statement deserves a little explanation... I mean to say that "the things that Ns do" to others when triggered (lying, deceiving, act rude or indifferent, resort to physical aggression, cheating, withdraw, hold grudges, emotional blackmail, sabotage, whatever) aren't peculiar to pwNPD.

I think NPD has more to do with the mindset lying behind these single behaviours, i.e. the need to protect an ideal self and the constant need of a very specific kind of gratification. Which of course takes all these behaviours to an extreme level.

I totally agree with this. Of course nons are capable of all these---but usually when younger and insecure in relationships. I'd like to add; that these behaviors are more of an extreme, lifelong pattern in those with NPD or other personality disorders. To have a 50 year-old give you the silent treatment or throw tantrums like an infant is beyond plain immaturity---it's a huge red flag. However, these red flags are often completely missed by those raised by NPD parents; which is why the cycle often repeats.

It's also difficult to decipher someone else's motives. It took me 40 years to see that my mother desires superficial attention from random strangers and acquaintances.