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Can a narcissist really love someone?

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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby rivergirl » Mon Mar 24, 2014 11:00 pm

Chant2012,

Your description of your experience is both horrifying and heartbreaking. I hope that you are able to get into therapy to help you deal with the trauma you've suffered. Do not be too hard on yourself about going back to him or clinging to the relationships. Trauma bonds are incredibly difficult to break, and breaking them takes constant mindfulness of your emotional triggers and control over your reactions.

Also, from what you've written, I think your ex's problems go beyond NPD. I think you might be right about sociopathy/psychopathy.
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby madjoe » Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:17 am

feelings don't matter only actions do

more than ever feelings are an excuse
just like words
abusers love their gf/bf/man/women/kids etc very much
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby BPM606060 » Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:26 am

Ya know madjoe, you are one of the least angry type B personalities i have encountered on this forum. lol that is cool though, i bet we would get along great in person . I am overly calm in intense situations. People will be flipping out around me and i will be all like Image
"Without order...nothing exists....Without chaos....nothing evolves"
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby Chant2012 » Thu Mar 27, 2014 3:00 am

rivergirl wrote:Chant2012,

Your description of your experience is both horrifying and heartbreaking. I hope that you are able to get into therapy to help you deal with the trauma you've suffered. Do not be too hard on yourself about going back to him or clinging to the relationships. Trauma bonds are incredibly difficult to break, and breaking them takes constant mindfulness of your emotional triggers and control over your reactions.

Also, from what you've written, I think your ex's problems go beyond NPD. I think you might be right about sociopathy/psychopathy.


Yes, he was awful. And I have been in therapy off and on since I was a child. So there was a lot of stuff since this all happened but this sure didn't help at all that's for sure. Yes, trauma bonds are odd things but it makes sense. Anyway, thank you for your reply. Blessings.
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby BuiltToLast » Thu Mar 27, 2014 1:03 pm

Can a pwNPD really feel loved by another?
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby InternalvsExternal » Fri Apr 18, 2014 6:09 pm

Thank you guys so much for the replies, but i wasn't talking about myself, just for someone else. I have this friend that is dating a narcissist and she's really in love with him, i would hate for her to get hurt but she doesn't want to hear it, she actually believes that he loves her. well thank you i'll try to my best of the ability to help her, and thank you guys once again.
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby dxm_dxm » Sat Apr 19, 2014 4:52 pm

Oh yes he can, and I happen to have a rare tool to prove it. Topic closed

(this was posted by me in another topic
I have to mention that although I am aware I have almost no emotions, I do feel love for her. This is proven by my OCD, the second thing besides handicaps fear is that I can not let go of an object if it got in contact with my parents ever since childhood. I have a lot of objects that I can not throw away. After falling in love with her, this extended to her as well. Even when I broke up with her I did not throw a single object that got in contact with her.


Besides that, the first 2 years of a relationship where there is no love, only limerance, something very different caused by hormones is identical to a narcissist. Even more, because of the N idealisation of the relationship you could deffinitly say that at least in the begining he loves you more than anybody else . Only problem is after limerance.
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby anxietykiller » Sat Apr 19, 2014 6:09 pm

I think they have the capacity to, yes. Whether they ever actually tap into that I don't know.
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby Roeschen » Wed Apr 23, 2014 12:34 am

Hello everyone... I'm new to the forum and am very glad to have found such a wonderful source of information and support!

I seem to have a long history of being involved with narcissists... starting with my mother.
My belief is that she was about the middle of the narcissistic spectrum.
So, no surprise that my husband was also a narcissist of about the same type.
Now, even though I thought I was careful... it appears I'm in a relationship with another one!
A slightly different type but definitely fits the profile. The odd thing is that it seems intermittent.
Sometimes much more normal in his reactions, sometimes very much a narcissistic reaction.

Enough about me though...
I was hoping to present some thoughts about the topic "Can a narcissist really love someone?"
Of course it depends on how you define love, but, it seems that what they love is the narcissistic supply you give them. That's why they mimic love.. to get their narcissistic needs met.

Although, this is something we all do to a certain extent. It seems the difference is that the narcissist seems more intolerant of not getting it and often lacks empathy and altruism toward their 'loved' one, (especially if their needs are not met).

Anyone else feel this to be true?
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Re: Can a narcissist really love someone?

Postby quarantined » Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:11 am

anxietykiller wrote:I think they have the capacity to, yes. Whether they ever actually tap into that I don't know.


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