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Admission of guilt

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Admission of guilt

Postby Muriel28 » Wed Mar 05, 2014 7:14 pm

Will a narcissist ever admit they're wrong?
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby exquisitecorpse » Wed Mar 05, 2014 10:14 pm

It's possible, but it depends on the circumstance and the narcissist.

When I've seen a narcissist admit fault or apologize is when they are trying to do damage control, or win back an important supply. Sometimes it's just better to apologize although the narcissist probably doesn't truly believe what they are saying. It's just meaningless words they know you want to hear, that will move you to do what we want. (projection here).

Narcissists that cannot apologize even to save their own skin, or to manipulate others for their own gain are just too far gone, IMO. It's a weakness for sure
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby extarget » Wed Mar 05, 2014 10:43 pm

I agree exquisitecorpse,
Let me add I did get apologies in the beginning. Once my fate was sealed, I ended up apologizing for being pushed over the edge. I apologized for things that never happened and things I never did. It was insanity...
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby Muriel28 » Thu Mar 06, 2014 3:23 pm

"Narcissists that cannot apologize even to save their own skin, or to manipulate others for their own gain are just too far gone, IMO. It's a weakness for sure"

I think this is the kind I'm dealing with....It's so hard. It's my sister-in-law. She also teaches my daughters gymnastics. She's a good teacher for the older girls because they can handle the way she teaches, but my daughters are three and six. They're getting ready for a recital, and my 6-year-old and her entire group are having difficulty with the routine. And for my sister-in-law it HAS to be perfect. Last Friday I told her my daughter wasn't feeling well and may not be able to do as well. During practice, she yelled at my daughter, "If you're going to have one of your little breakdowns, you can just run out there to your mama." Other students and mothers heard this. They all looked at me like, are you just going to take that? Well, they don't know her like I do. My daughter and just left in the middle of practice. She has told my brother a completely different story, but I'm not relenting. I know what I heard. Maybe as a narcissist she can see no wrong with what she did or said. All I know, is we'll never get an apology. As of now, we're all just getting the silent treatment...her favorite form of punishment.

-- Thu Mar 06, 2014 9:25 am --

"I apologized for things that never happened and things I never did. It was insanity..."

This is what I've done in the past to keep the peace with my brother, but I just can't do it anymore!!
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby extarget » Thu Mar 06, 2014 5:22 pm

Do other people in the family notice this kind of crap from her? Can you go low contact with this poor excuse for a person? Your not nuts, it's not you, they play these games effortlessly...They LOVE to make the other person doubt themselves, they have no problem re-writing what happened, leaving out the most important details that would clearly show they themselves cause the situation. Save yourself, you kids and your spouse from the horrible person, you cant save your brother, he has to figure it out on his own... What was your relationship with him before he met the anti-Christ?
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby Muriel28 » Thu Mar 06, 2014 7:32 pm

Yes, many other people inside of the family notice it. Of course, the people on the outside...her "friends" (of which she really only has aquaintences) are taken in by her charm. As we all were in the beginning! I really thought I was going crazy until I realize there was a name for this type of person. She claims she's scared to death of dogs. I gave my younger daughter a mini schnauzer for her birthday one year. She refused to come to my daughter's party because I had disrespected her feelings by getting a dog. I have decided to go pretty much non-contact with her. My niece's birthday is this Saturday and I would like to go to her party. I think there will be enough people there that I won't even have to acknowledge her...and she'll be playing that perfect mother role anyway. What is so bad about it is that my brother and I were very close. We are the only two siblings in my family and we're two years apart. We always did everything together. A lot of people thought we were twins, but I'm pretty much already accepted the fact that the person he is right now is not the brother that I was so close to. He takes up for her no matter how absurd she may be.
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby extarget » Thu Mar 06, 2014 9:28 pm

The dog thing is a great example. Your a grown woman ad you got a dog, good for you. This crazy woman actually made YOUR decision about HER! These people twist EVERTHING around to make everyone seem like they are as screwed up and manipulative as they are. Your not. , It is sad but the fact that your brother and you WERE so close was a HUGE threat to her, Look at what is happening today, if your brother was not under her spell, and your relationship was the way it used to be, you would then be able to tell him to RUN for the hills away from this crazy witch. SHe has realigned things HER way and now you can't This is EXACTLY what they do and there is little you can do until he is miserable with her and figures it out. I would do my best to be supportive of your brother without signing a deal with this devil. Do your best to keep your distance from her wile still being civil and not letting her get to you in ANY way. If she throws a tantrum about something simply say, that is your opinion but I do not share it.... You can NEVER let her see that anything gets to you. I have a family member that has these tendencies and I know that they know I am on to them, we are polite and civil but they know do NOT screw with me, my good reputation is all I need to stand up to any bad behavior. Do your research, Look up Narcissist traits and share with family members that you trust what she is. Better to know what your dealing with then not, when I did not know, I thought I was nuts...I know its the other way around and it feels great to know this....
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby lolidk » Sat Mar 08, 2014 9:15 pm

It depends on the situation. I'll apologize if the situation is one where it would be to my advantage to do so. But just because I'm saying I'm sorry doesn't mean I feel sorry. I don't even think I know what it feels like to feel sorry. It's just a phrase I use to shut people up.
DX: NPD
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby Harkness » Sun Mar 09, 2014 6:42 am

Muriel28 wrote:Will a narcissist ever admit they're wrong?


I have no trouble doing so.

As far as 'being guilty,' I would have to feel guilty. There'a a difference between being wrong and disagreeing. Just because you don't like someone's behavior, that doesn't make them wrong or guilty.
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Re: Admission of guilt

Postby Core » Sun Mar 09, 2014 7:12 am

They would be guilty of poor behavior in the eyes of the other without the emotional repercussions. i.e. remorse.
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