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The relationship between NPD and BPD.

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The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby secretsounds » Wed Feb 26, 2014 9:11 pm

What do NPD find in BPD?
What do BPD find in NPD?
How do they see themselves and each other, what do they gain, what do they lose. What is the connection. I'm curious. Thank you.
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby Esquire » Wed Feb 26, 2014 10:58 pm

Both discarded their authentic selves as inadequate, so both have a sense of self that requires validation in perpetuity, just in different ways, with the pwNPD investing his entire universe in building the best sense of self possible, and needing external sources to constantly confirm that, while the pwBPD lacks a sense of self and looks for the external world to supply the actual sense of self (instead of supplying the confirmation that the existing sense of self is awesome, as with the pwNPD).

Both need to control their environments, but are triggered by the sense, real or imagined, that others are controlling them.

The pwNPD's control over his emotions and seeming emotional fortress will seem like a safe haven for the pwBPD, while the pwBPD's strong emotions and expressiveness and spontaneity will seem like life in a bottle for the pwNPD.

Both receive some kind of validation from each other, but it can't last.
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby kal-el1992 » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:05 am

its a intense combustion.
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby kal-el1992 » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:17 am

the connection is something that youll never experience with a non. its like finding someone who you feel like youve known forever, who worships you and vice versa. its like happiness, sunshine all shining down at you, love in a glance, all the attention and promises all in a person.

then it breaks down.

thats when the fun part starts.

we are the perfect composite, the perfect storm
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby kal-el1992 » Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:19 am

im drunk and getting poetic. LOL
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby purple tulips » Thu Feb 27, 2014 3:51 am

Crazy awesome sex. With power struggles and mind games in between.
Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure, that you are not in fact surrounding yourself with assholes.
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby PamHelf » Thu Feb 27, 2014 11:46 am

I've posted this link before but this article has a really great explanation:

http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby kal-el1992 » Thu Feb 27, 2014 7:07 pm

PamHelf wrote:I've posted this link before but this article has a really great explanation:

http://gettinbetter.com/dance.html


i wonder if this is true...

In truth, the Narcissist is no match for the Borderline. It doesn't matter how smart or powerful he is, she'll turn his world upside-down to where he could lose his entire fortune, acquire a serious disease, and become a shadow of his former self. The Narcissist's grandiosity works against him in this type of coupling, because he has an unquenchable need to win, due to self-worth issues. He won't let himself be one-upped by anyone, but the Borderline is always better at this game than he is. As he cannot tolerate this loss of control, he'll literally fight to the death to maintain it--never realizing what he's losing/giving up, while highly focused on surmounting this challenge.
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby Harkness » Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:02 pm

kal-el1992 wrote:
i wonder if this is true...

In truth, the Narcissist is no match for the Borderline. It doesn't matter how smart or powerful he is, she'll turn his world upside-down to where he could lose his entire fortune, acquire a serious disease, and become a shadow of his former self. The Narcissist's grandiosity works against him in this type of coupling, because he has an unquenchable need to win, due to self-worth issues. He won't let himself be one-upped by anyone, but the Borderline is always better at this game than he is. As he cannot tolerate this loss of control, he'll literally fight to the death to maintain it--never realizing what he's losing/giving up, while highly focused on surmounting this challenge.


I think it's sort of true, but way too overstated and dramatic. I think this statement is an exaggerated version of what really goes on.
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Re: The relationship between NPD and BPD.

Postby kal-el1992 » Thu Feb 27, 2014 8:53 pm

Harkness wrote:
kal-el1992 wrote:
i wonder if this is true...

In truth, the Narcissist is no match for the Borderline. It doesn't matter how smart or powerful he is, she'll turn his world upside-down to where he could lose his entire fortune, acquire a serious disease, and become a shadow of his former self. The Narcissist's grandiosity works against him in this type of coupling, because he has an unquenchable need to win, due to self-worth issues. He won't let himself be one-upped by anyone, but the Borderline is always better at this game than he is. As he cannot tolerate this loss of control, he'll literally fight to the death to maintain it--never realizing what he's losing/giving up, while highly focused on surmounting this challenge.


I think it's sort of true, but way too overstated and dramatic. I think this statement is an exaggerated version of what really goes on.


ive noticed that the bpd "suffers" more in the end because of her capacity to feel emotions so drastically; her life can get sucked away in a abusive relationships and the NPD doesnt suffer because of their teflon like exterior.

But, it doesnt matter because her idea of self and life in extension means less to her-- it can be reconstructed again and again; she can lose everything and not care that much, its part of the condition, hence the bizarre behavior-- she might worry that outsiders will find out how she really is-- but if at the end of the day....its null and void. she holds no such attachment to the physical world because her sense of self and object constancy is so weak. none of the attachments matter. bpds shift through multiple identities and in extension whole entire lives in one life time. ironically, their weakness of self can be a strength, or at the least, a coping mechanism-- most people dont move across the world and change entire identities...successfully.

the NPD gets so trapped over "winning" that they get trapped in the game. since they are so unaffected by external behavior as long as it provides some sort of ego confirmation, negative or positive, they will continue the relationship with the bpd, who in her weakness, can seemingly one up the relationship, if the NPD is enmeshed at all with her.

an addiction, lets say.
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