This is related to a workplace environment where the pwNPD is the boss.
The problem mostly arises when the boss decides to jump in and either override my analysis or questions my methods - and he is just plain wrong.
I am put in a situation where I must explain or defend myself - and this is with data. I try to frame it in a manner to not be confrontational or overtly criticize and do it in private emails, but does this do anything to stem the "narcissistic injury" and subsequent “narcissistic rage”?
I sent two emails - just to the pwNDP boss on the weekend and felt I was merely defending or explaining myself with the data. I also was trying to help the NPD boss see some of the issues the other employees were having related to the suggested approach.
The reaction Monday morning indicates that I think this triggered the pwNPD, but in both circumstances he was questioning my methods and analysis and the data itself does not bend to his whims. I think he was targeting me as a reaction to the data not matching his views - even though I tried hard to avoid attacking or embarrassing him in any way.
My question is twofold:
~ Is there any way to calm or quell the “narcissistic rage” in such a circumstances to defuse the reaction, stop the retaliation and targeting?
~ Generally you should avoid telling the boss directly they are wrong, but when they are already attacking or questioning you - how to defend without causing this blowback situation?
I saw some advice that suggested implying the truth was an opinion to allow them wiggle room. I am not sure how to phrase it exactly when it is black and white. "I feel there might be something wrong with the data based on the levels." "We are having difficulty understanding how to implement your method to do <blank>"
One other problem is that he is sometimes publicly criticizing my approach or analysis or suggesting otherwise - and he is just plain wrong. If I publicly defend myself - it publicly attacks him, but if I do not - it hurts my reputation.