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requirements for a mate

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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby Pink01 » Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:39 am

probably...
a vast majority of the men that I go out with are well educated have/money. my current bf is pretty rich...
to be honest the only thing i gold dig him for is take out. so i'm a cheap gold digger!
someone who didn't have as much money could do this too...

but i wouldn't say it's an ego boost....just business nothing personal

I can't imagine catering to someone like me for admiration :?
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby sach » Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:49 am

@pink. totally off topic.

why do histrionics forgive soooo easily? my one friend always forgives everyone and takes them back even if they treat her poorly ( there has to be a return though, like she got date raped pretty much but the guy hires her on jobs that probably amount to more than 15 grand a year). i yell at her and say all these mean thigns.

she actually invited me over for christmas and because i'm bpd and cant' handle intimacy i lashed out and yelled at her. lol

i've like stopped talking to her 6 times now and she always takes me back?
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby Pink01 » Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:56 am

I forgive people almost instantaneously
I have always said I could have tea with someone that robbed my house

Probably has something to do with the rapidly shifting emotions that don't go deep.
I completely forget how I felt in situations so how can I hold a grudge against something I don't even remember?
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby sach » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:01 am

Pink01 wrote:I forgive people almost instantaneously
I have always said I could have tea with someone that robbed my house

Probably has something to do with the rapidly shifting emotions that don't go deep.
I completely forget how I felt in situations so how can I hold a grudge against something I don't even remember?


haha, i forgive people all the time because i forget that i was mad at them. later i'm like ooooh yeaaaaa and then it's too late.

yea i have two histrionic friends who always come back. i used to joke with one of them..."you always come back, no matter what...you want this, you miss this...haha. she would go shut up.

how does that work with boundaries though? if someone keeps on treating you badly...

are you ok with people treating you badly? do you just break their things? ;P
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby Harkness » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:02 am

Pink01 wrote:I forgive people almost instantaneously
I have always said I could have tea with someone that robbed my house

Probably has something to do with the rapidly shifting emotions that don't go deep.
I completely forget how I felt in situations so how can I hold a grudge against something I don't even remember?


I'm basically the same. It takes a lot for me to hate someone, and I never hold a grudge. Unless something triggers my narc insecurities (rare) I just don't care. I think it's because I never feel much anyway. It's easy to forgive someone when you don't care about what happened.
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby sach » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:13 am

Pink01 wrote:I forgive people almost instantaneously
I have always said I could have tea with someone that robbed my house

Probably has something to do with the rapidly shifting emotions that don't go deep.
I completely forget how I felt in situations so how can I hold a grudge against something I don't even remember?


what if someone stole your boyfriend or dated your ex?

i did that to one friend of mine, it was wrong of me, i should have never went there. our relationship was never same after that. i was always excluded from all her BS antics she pulled with everyone else- the flakiness, the moodiness, ditching people. up to when i did that we were pretty solid, she never treated me badly.

after i pulled that stunt, she was still friends with me, pretended it didn't bother her, we were still "close friends" but she treated me like all her other friends from that point on with all the betrayals, the pettiness and yes, the breaking of my stuff and stealing...lol. we were super young though, teenagers..
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby seabreezeblue » Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:45 am

I'm basically the same. It takes a lot for me to hate someone, and I never hold a grudge. Unless something triggers my narc insecurities (rare) I just don't care. I think it's because I never feel much anyway. It's easy to forgive someone when you don't care about what happened.


Erm.. i thought the ability to forgive easily/not hold a grudge for long was a non trait rather than an N trait..?

all three of the true Narcs i know really well hold on to a grudge forever.. it gets thrown in peoples faces and spoken about bitterly for years after the event.



I usually can't be bothered to hold on to a grudge, life is too short to go stressing about something unless you burn my house down.. I'll never trust you again in quite the same way if you break my trust - i'll just remember to hold back a touch in future.

Now this is a Narc trait? I thought i was doing okay.. *wanders off in confusion*


Perhaps the difference is that someone with NPD dismisses the bad action entirely.. the non recalls it but balances it with the good stuff..?


On topic and although i cannot be categorised as NPD (hopefully).. i'm attracted to men that I can play mind tennis with.. someone that enjoys quick fire humour and rapid (and good humoured) debates..
a good natured intellectual is seriously attractive.. (i'm a typical INTJ)
Shine me a light up
and i'll run round the moon..
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby Kiskiskis » Mon Jan 27, 2014 1:42 pm

Really! NPD doesn't hold a grunge :? Thats something, I wonder whats the whole story behind the scenes. What exactly did I ruined.
I think He hates me.

I dont hold a grunge, not easily anyway. I can forget it. True forgiveness..no comment there.

scepticalblahblah wrote:all three of the true Narcs i know really well hold on to a grudge forever.. it gets thrown in peoples faces and spoken about bitterly for years after the event.

That's what I thought.
There goes my sense of magnitude :roll:
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby Pink01 » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:08 pm

sach -
are you ok with people treating you badly? do you just break their things? ;P


That's right 8)

what if someone stole your boyfriend or dated your ex?

i did that to one friend of mine, it was wrong of me, i should have never went there. our relationship was never same after that. i was always excluded from all her BS antics she pulled with everyone else- the flakiness, the moodiness, ditching people. up to when i did that we were pretty solid, she never treated me badly.

after i pulled that stunt, she was still friends with me, pretended it didn't bother her, we were still "close friends" but she treated me like all her other friends from that point on with all the betrayals, the pettiness and yes, the breaking of my stuff and stealing...lol. we were super young though, teenagers..


wouldn't bother me at all. if someone's my ex i've devalued them...they're nothing

if we cut ties and I never devalued them...yeah i'd be a bit envious but I'd get over it. that would only apply to one person ever though..and i want him to be happy. So whoever makes him happy...so be it

fighting over men is so incredibly silly. never understood it

-- Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:11 pm --

scepticalblahblah wrote:
I'm basically the same. It takes a lot for me to hate someone, and I never hold a grudge. Unless something triggers my narc insecurities (rare) I just don't care. I think it's because I never feel much anyway. It's easy to forgive someone when you don't care about what happened.


Erm.. i thought the ability to forgive easily/not hold a grudge for long was a non trait rather than an N trait..?

all three of the true Narcs i know really well hold on to a grudge forever.. it gets thrown in peoples faces and spoken about bitterly for years after the event.



I usually can't be bothered to hold on to a grudge, life is too short to go stressing about something unless you burn my house down.. I'll never trust you again in quite the same way if you break my trust - i'll just remember to hold back a touch in future.

Now this is a Narc trait? I thought i was doing okay.. *wanders off in confusion*


Perhaps the difference is that someone with NPD dismisses the bad action entirely.. the non recalls it but balances it with the good stuff..?


On topic and although i cannot be categorised as NPD (hopefully).. i'm attracted to men that I can play mind tennis with.. someone that enjoys quick fire humour and rapid (and good humoured) debates..
a good natured intellectual is seriously attractive.. (i'm a typical INTJ)


I use things and throw it in face time and time again because it stirs up drama
not genuine grudge at all though that holds genuine negative emotions behind it
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Re: requirements for a mate

Postby sach » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:19 pm

Pink01 wrote:sach -
are you ok with people treating you badly? do you just break their things? ;P


That's right 8)

what if someone stole your boyfriend or dated your ex?

i did that to one friend of mine, it was wrong of me, i should have never went there. our relationship was never same after that. i was always excluded from all her BS antics she pulled with everyone else- the flakiness, the moodiness, ditching people. up to when i did that we were pretty solid, she never treated me badly.

after i pulled that stunt, she was still friends with me, pretended it didn't bother her, we were still "close friends" but she treated me like all her other friends from that point on with all the betrayals, the pettiness and yes, the breaking of my stuff and stealing...lol. we were super young though, teenagers..


wouldn't bother me at all. if someone's my ex i've devalued them...they're nothing

if we cut ties and I never devalued them...yeah i'd be a bit envious but I'd get over it. that would only apply to one person ever though..and i want him to be happy. So whoever makes him happy...so be it

fighting over men is so incredibly silly. never understood it


maybe she was a narc then. who knows. i always categorized her as a histrionic bc she needed allt his attention but she wasn't well liked, feared maybe but people saw her for who she was. the girl screwed over pretty much everyone
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