What's the point of...

close relationships?

It's easy for me to have shallow connections with people. I don't need to agree with all of their points of view, beliefs, whatever. I just enjoy/manipulate them and that's it. They cannot affect me and that's it. When it comes to my parents, that's dreadful. They have a closer connection with me, thus more control over me, and that has the potential of affecting me.

We conflict often because they impose their faulty view of life on me and that's ruining my future. "It's ridiculous to study, you should get a blue collar job and be there forever!", "Forget about studying, find any job and give us your wage!". @$$holes.

Superficial relationships don't affect me. You're not my friend/boyfriend/boss whatever. The closer one is to me, the more they can affect my life.

What are your opinions on closeness vs potential harm?

Does everything you do has to have a point?
Sounds like a bleak existence...

Shielded wrote:We conflict often because they impose their faulty view of life on me and that's ruining my future.

And you let them?

wooster wrote:Does everything you do has to have a point?
Sounds like a bleak existence...

No. I just like to think about why certain things are done. Come on, have you never done that ? But, why does a single post have to mean that every single thing I do in my life has to have a reason?

jp277 wrote:

Shielded wrote:We conflict often because they impose their faulty view of life on me and that's ruining my future.

And you let them?

My fault, I didn't use the right words to explain the situation.

They don't impose it in a way that can change my opinions/beliefs/views on life. They affect me on a more practical way. Ex: They break my PC. Without my PC, I cannot study. "Work to buy one.". Okay, I work to buy one and **** my uni (full-time university). I buy one and then they break it and say "Buy another one.".

In my country even if I worked before my degree I would never be able to be financially independent. Living in a third world country sucks...

Whatever.

Let me be more clear.

When I say "affect me" I'm not talking about emotional control. It'd be like a boss being able to lay you off or parents expelling you from home.

I'd just want to know your opinions on closeness vs potential harm.

jp277 wrote:And you let them?

If it's your parents, it's not so easy not to let them. There are situation you can't get away from. But Shielded explained it already, and much better.

What are your opinions on closeness vs potential harm?

Well, closeness carries the potential for harm, that's why it's a good idea to know whom you get close to / whom you allow to get close to you.
Which you can't do with your parents, you had no choice in whom you were born to.
Yours sound pretty obnoxious if you ask me, I hope you can get out of there the sooner the better. Any chance you could find any accommodation away from them?

jp277 wrote:And you let them?

If it's your parents, it's not so easy not to let them. There are situation you can't get away from. But Shielded explained it already, and much better.

Well put.

What are your opinions on closeness vs potential harm?

Well, closeness carries the potential for harm, that's why it's a good idea to know whom you get close to / whom you allow to get close to you.
Which you can't do with your parents, you had no choice in whom you were born to.
Yours sound pretty obnoxious if you ask me, I hope you can get out of there the sooner the better. Any chance you could find any accommodation away from them?

I cannot simply say "Hi abusive parents, **** off! Goodbye!". I want to be an IT University Professor. I have to get my undergraduate degree, my Master's and then I'll be able to be a University Professor in IT (not a high-end one without my Doctorate, but I'll get it later). There's the possibility of scholarship right after my undergrad while I'm on my Master's or being a low-paid IT teacher with my undergrad - the latter will make me struggle a lot to get a Master's, but whatever.

Anyway, I'll have to stand them for at least more 3 years . I cannot manipulate them anymore because I'm way too exhausted of manipulating/pretending I don't hate them for every single abuse in the past/present. As soon as I get more calm, back to manipulation - it's my only choice.

If they expel me from home, there's a 12 story building about 30 min from here.

Shielded wrote:
If they expel me from home, there's a 12 story building about 30 min from here.

Don't jump!!!! It's not worth it.

3 years sucks, esp. when you'd need to give all your focus to studying rather than fending off the efforts of those trying to sabotage you. But try to look at it as "only 3 years". It will pass. Right now your golden ticket to get away from them is studying. Best of luck.

Shielded wrote:

jp277 wrote:And you let them?

If it's your parents, it's not so easy not to let them. There are situation you can't get away from. But Shielded explained it already, and much better.

Well put.

What are your opinions on closeness vs potential harm?

Well, closeness carries the potential for harm, that's why it's a good idea to know whom you get close to / whom you allow to get close to you.
Which you can't do with your parents, you had no choice in whom you were born to.
Yours sound pretty obnoxious if you ask me, I hope you can get out of there the sooner the better. Any chance you could find any accommodation away from them?

I cannot simply say "Hi abusive parents, **** off! Goodbye!". I want to be an IT University Professor. I have to get my undergraduate degree, my Master's and then I'll be able to be a University Professor in IT (not a high-end one without my Doctorate, but I'll get it later). There's the possibility of scholarship right after my undergrad while I'm on my Master's or being a low-paid IT teacher with my undergrad - the latter will make me struggle a lot to get a Master's, but whatever.

Anyway, I'll have to stand them for at least more 3 years . I cannot manipulate them anymore because I'm way too exhausted of manipulating/pretending I don't hate them for every single abuse in the past/present. As soon as I get more calm, back to manipulation - it's my only choice.

If they expel me from home, there's a 12 story building about 30 min from here.

yeah i get what you're saying now. can't you use this to control them? who are they going to come to when they are old and need money. you will have something they will want so try and appeal to their self interest. (whether you intend on helping them later on is irrelevant)

wooster wrote:

Shielded wrote:
If they expel me from home, there's a 12 story building about 30 min from here.

Don't jump!!!! It's not worth it.

3 years sucks, esp. when you'd need to give all your focus to studying rather than fending off the efforts of those trying to sabotage you. But try to look at it as "only 3 years". It will pass. Right now your golden ticket to get away from them is studying. Best of luck.

What happens to an animal that's forsaken by its parents and is not strong enough to be on its own? Death. The same happens in our capitalistic society. If it happened to me, I'd just hasten the inevitable. To be honest, I'd be OK with that, really. But I'm gonna fight for my life as long as I consider it as being worthy of my energy.

Well, 3 years at least. Honestly, I'll wait for our situation to "improve" and keep on manipulating them, it's my only choice.

It's funny cause my father tried to be a father once and their daughters ended up not being able to even looking at his face. They're married and just don't say **** off to him because they're polite. The genius tried to be a father again and neither me nor my brother stand neither him nor our wonderful mother.

Tip: Humans beings, if you're not suitable to be a parent, don't even try!

jp277 wrote:who are they going to come to when they are old and need money. you will have something they will want so try and appeal to their self interest. (whether you intend on helping them later on is irrelevant)

They even lack the foresight that education = loads better pay >>

Shielded wrote:"It's ridiculous to study, you should get a blue collar job and be there forever!", "Forget about studying, find any job and give us your wage!"

Frankly, i can't even fathom how a parent could be like that.
Do you have any siblings, Shielded?

edit// nvm, i see you do.

Tip: Humans beings, if you're not suitable to be a parent, don't even try!

Absolutely. That should be the first & foremost thing they knock into people's head in big bold letters in those sex-education classes.