evian wrote:"This is the first and, by far, the most critical step on the way to coping with the disorder: will the narcissist admit, be forced, or convinced to concede that he is absolutely and unconditionally wrong, that something is very amiss in his life, that he is in need of urgent, professional, help and that, in the absence of such help, things will only get worse? Having crossed this Rubicon, the narcissist is more open and amenable to constructive suggestions and assistance.
The second important leap forward is when the narcissist begins to confront a more REALISTIC version of himself. A good friend, a spouse, a therapist, a parent, or a combination of these people can decide not to collaborate with the narcissist's confabulations anymore, to stop fearing the narcissist and not to acquiesce in his folly any longer.
When they confront the narcissist with the truth about himself, they help demolish the grandiose phantom that "runs" the narcissist. They no longer succumb to his whims or accord him a special treatment. They reprimand him when needed. They disagree with him and show him why and where he is mistaken. In short: they deprive him of many of his sources of Narcissistic Supply. They refuse to take part in the elaborate game that is the narcissist. They rebel."
This "Confrontation System" was dreamed up decades ago as an extreme, last ditch plan to "enlighten" alcoholics. The success rate was close to nil! How is it going to change someone who is perfect?
Sam Vaknin appears to have assumed proprietorial rights to use Confrontation as a path to salvation for NDP?
. He, of all people should know better.
Even if you knew how to start "a Confrontation" (World War III
is probably a more appropriate term) you'd be out of your depth.
It's a much smoother path to work on forgetting everything that bothers you, find new friends and and exit with dignity. Sometimes you can't fix what's broken, whether you think you own it or not.