Funny I was just going to ask this question, it just goes to show that this is a personality disorder trait.
Right now the N. is ignoring me and this time I know for a fact I didn't do anything wrong.
I think there are a few reasons why:
When we were "together" He would ignore me and it wold drive me nuts. If the N. would be working on something (normally some scheme), had an illness with himself or a family member (which was frequently) , or after he had done something wrong and I had gotten angry and wanted to resolve the problem.
I would react by trying desperately to contact him and that give him all the power.
After the anger, I would panic, then when contact would resume, I would keep my mouth shut and accept him back under any condition. If I asked "Why are you ignoring me?" He would say, "I'm not ignoring you, your just paranoid, I would never ignore you." Lie.
One time, he had done something to upset me. I called and he wouldn't pick up. Then I blocked my number and he did. The N. became enraged and accused me of being "sneaky, dishonest and all around crazy." If I only knew at the time about Cluster-B's and how deep his pathology runs.
I honestly did not know that the silent treatment was not normal and a form of abuse.
Currently, I'm being ignored. There is an illness in the family-I swear this family member does some Munchausen things. The N. is also working on a scheme too.
Regardless, I'll get phone calls up to Sat. silence Mon-Wed. Maybe an email or two.
I will respond by saying something like "Let me know how things are going, how's so and so or let me know if your ok."
Silence. Engulfment then silence.
So, I believe that the silent treatment can be used in an infinite amount of ways.
The first thing to remember is:
The N. DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
It could be because
1) He is sick of you
2) Wants to avoid you
3) Wants to punish you
4) Since your an object, doesn't care about you at the moment.
5) Wants to control you and hopefully you'll jump and ask "how high" when contact resumes
6) Keep the power in his court.
7) Has a new source of supply to keep him occupied (which he does)
Simply doesn't care one way or another.
Use this time to separate from the N and starting living as if he is not a part of your life, because currently-he isn't.
Remember, there is no use trying to reach out to somebody that doesn't want to hear from you. Get help if this is causing you anxiety. In my case the N. has an article of clothing that I ordered from a department store, so he can afford to use the silent treatment right now.
I grew up in a household where my mother would use the silent treatment all the time (even as a small child) and I'm a person who has extremely high verbal comprehension. So, for me, this is the WORST form of treatment. But, I've also mastered the art of ignoring the ignore-it takes a bit, but I can use the silent treatment to my advantage. I never start the "silent treatment" but unfortunately I've been trained well to endure it.
The last time my mother used it, my retort was "Ok, bye, have a nice life." and sure enough, it stopped. That's how I treat the N. when this happens. It hurts, it's upsetting, but after a few days I hear back.
This one might go on for a while. Lets hope so....it's the only way I can get past this.