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why do Narcissist lie?

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why do Narcissist lie?

Postby Angelhearted12 » Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:15 am

When you are no longer supply for them? But sometimes tell the truth when it suits them? But when a question of cheating comes up they won't answer it they ignore the question?
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby sadegirl » Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:58 am

Narcissists will never trully accept they did anything wrong, and they abhore criticism! If you accuse them of cheating or something they did wrong, they will rage and lie to your face.
I'm not sure if I have NPD (but i might). I lie to get approval and acceptance (most of the time). For example, if there's someone i want to like me, I will lie and say I like the same things they do, have similar opinions etc. Honestly it isn't even exactly lying, because i feel in theory i could like these things. I don't have a clear formed personality or identity, therefore i can mold it to my environment. It's not a lie at the time, but then if I'm in a new environment and have a different personality, it would look like I lied. But really i didn't it's just that my truth changes depending on where i am, and who i am with. I also lie (but rarely) when I feel that someone is getting too close. It pushes them away and creates distance from them. Hope that helps!
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby deifiedonmyback » Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:49 am

In my experience, at least, it's more about exaggerating/minimizing rather than outright lying. To make oneself seem more important or attractive to get the recognition from others of your superiority. And also to negate the actual effects of your actions so that others look stupid for feeling the way they do.
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby Sigurd » Sat Mar 23, 2013 6:31 am

Why don't you ever lie, angel hearted?
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby Lucinda » Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:04 am

Why do they lie?

Because the truth would mean an unbearable revelation of the reality of the shallow, selfish, ignoble people they are . An Unbearable reality both for them and the victim. They are unable to deal with the emotional response from the victim by telling the truth.
( I mean, maybe it stems from childhood in that often kids are punished for doing something wrong without being commended for having owned up to it - I can never understand this. If I had kids and they did something wrong and owned up to it, I would reward them for telling the truth.......)

An N will keep the true aspect of his nature hidden for as long as possible, knowing it is warped without really understanding why.
N's are often impetuos and compulsive and If telling a lie grants them a moments peace or pleasure or gratification they will go for it rather than think of the longterm consequences.

Just my opinion based on my experiences.
There would be a far more indepth psychology behind it that really none of us , including the N will ever be able to figure out imo.
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby catchmeifucan » Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:16 am

Haha I lied alot as a kid. (Wait, I still do) But if my parents caught me in a lie, naturally they would demand to know why I didnt tell the truth cuz it was "better" for me. I said to my NF "Ill get in trouble anyways so Id rather take the chance to not get caught cuz not getting in trouble is better."

My dad stood there with his mouth open:-) :-) :-)
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby Lucinda » Sat Mar 23, 2013 7:43 am

Haha I lied alot as a kid. (Wait, I still do) But if my parents caught me in a lie, naturally they would demand to know why I didnt tell the truth cuz it was "better" for me. I said to my NF "Ill get in trouble anyways so Id rather take the chance to not get caught cuz not getting in trouble is better
."

Clever answer at a young age! It is a simple truth and possibly explains somewhat the logic behind why N's lie.
Most kids are Narcissists and most Narcissists are still stuck in a child-like mode of behaviour.

I think N's lies usually arise from defending an inapropriate act that stems from their sense of entitlement.
and I think this sense of entitlement stems from some sense of deprivation experienced in childhood. As adults they are determined not to deny themselves any form of gratification they were denied as kids???? Maybe....
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby catchmeifucan » Sat Mar 23, 2013 8:05 am

Dunno....every N is different. And with a different past for example. I dont think anything is a simple answer.
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby Angelhearted12 » Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:33 am

sadegirl wrote:Narcissists will never trully accept they did anything wrong, and they abhore criticism! If you accuse them of cheating or something they did wrong, they will rage and lie to your face.
I'm not sure if I have NPD (but i might). I lie to get approval and acceptance (most of the time). For example, if there's someone i want to like me, I will lie and say I like the same things they do, have similar opinions etc. Honestly it isn't even exactly lying, because i feel in theory i could like these things. I don't have a clear formed personality or identity, therefore i can mold it to my environment. It's not a lie at the time, but then if I'm in a new environment and have a different personality, it would look like I lied. But really i didn't it's just that my truth changes depending on where i am, and who i am with. I also lie (but rarely) when I feel that someone is getting too close. It pushes them away and creates distance from them. Hope that helps!



Yes they cheat big time but you better not or you are a ho! Trying and lying to fit in makes you a poser or fake. Is the blame game used to cover lies or are they projection?

-- Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:36 am --

deifiedonmyback wrote:In my experience, at least, it's more about exaggerating/minimizing rather than outright lying. To make oneself seem more important or attractive to get the recognition from others of your superiority. And also to negate the actual effects of your actions so that others look stupid for feeling the way they do.


Do you have npd? This has been done to me before and it seemed out of attention

-- Sat Mar 23, 2013 10:37 am --

Sigurd wrote:Why don't you ever lie, angel hearted?


About very small small things not to hurt others
It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion. The other is mere business.
Mahatma Gandhi
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Re: why do Narcissist lie?

Postby deifiedonmyback » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:27 pm

deifiedonmyback wrote:In my experience, at least, it's more about exaggerating/minimizing rather than outright lying. To make oneself seem more important or attractive to get the recognition from others of your superiority. And also to negate the actual effects of your actions so that others look stupid for feeling the way they do.

Do you have npd? This has been done to me before and it seemed out of attention


Recently diagnosed, yes. And I don't know about the motivations of others... It could very well have been for attention. But you never really know until the situation unfolds anyway. :roll:
Last edited by deifiedonmyback on Sun Mar 24, 2013 2:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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