Not a Victim wrote:This is all very touching indeed. How can you explain the selectiveness that narcs exhibit so well? for example, nastiness towards the loved ones - significant others, parents and especially innocent kids, who for sure have no clue or understanding of your complex and misunderstood nature, and at the same time reverence and subservience for someone like your boss? Why you treat the people who love you badly, while you would never consider doing the same towards people who you depend on - like your supervisor or someone with more power?
Somehow your conflicted nature is suddenly kept in check.
thatwasthen wrote:I have a question for you. Why does a narcissist hate when you tell them you love them? Why do they hate intimacy and any form of intimacy?
madjoe wrote:i don't trust ppl with less than 100 posts
inevitableaversion wrote:It's these people whom I feed on that are so important to me, but they are also the ones that get to deal with the entirety of my NPD. Well, my daughter has to deal with the entirety of my NPD too of course, but since i don't feed off her my NPD to her just feels like extreme avoidance. NPD to the people we feed from includes isolation, manipulation, and intolerance towards any view of us that does not make us feel perfect.
inevitableaversion wrote:once I have reached the death stage any kind of intimacy, verbal or physical, is repulsive to me and its so strong that it cannot be hidden. The non detects this change immediately. Narcs find their lovers to be pathetic in the death stage. And like I explained in my reply to roadkill on my topic "are any other N's scared of themselves", we start to sober up in the death stage from being completely drugged out on N supply in the life stage and when we sober up we put you under a microscope and all those things about you that we ignored while feeding from you are now disgusting to us and we feel ashamed that we were feeding off of such an inferior being. We hate ourselves and you even more for "forcing" us to hate ourselves. You are no longer worthy to touch us. We are repulsed by your insignificance and pathetic displays of love or what we narcs see as weakness. Love becomes a weakness, BUT we still use the love for control purposes and can still see the value in that even though we no longer feel elated from it. We now only become elated from controlling you, degrading you and making you feel ever more inferior.
cherlyn wrote:Would an N prefer to have someone 'waiting in the wings'? Or to wring all you can from the current person before officially moving on? What's the tipping point where you walk away for good?
This won't go over well, but I sort of understand when an N blames the 'willing' victim. After all, they can leave at any time. I may have some resentment because if I could have gotten away as a child I would have. So I totally don't get people who can and do not.
truescarlett wrote:I am slightly confused about the dead phase...what about when Narcs are abusive towards someone yet they do not seem to be discarding them as they continue to make efforts for that person to be a part of their lives on a daily basis? I have been on the receiving end of one minute picking/critical sort of behavior yet the person still is the instigator in messaging and talking to me and seems kind fond of me. Is this part and parcel of tapping supply or something I read elsewhere " A Narcissist is purposefully abusive when his relationship with you changes in a way that is not to his liking. This occurs whenever he starts to feel too close to you. Intimacy terrifies a Narcissist, and he will respond by being purposefully abusive in order to push you away."? It is difficult to tell whether you are about to be discarded or whether you are being pushed away for fear of intimacy. Any insight?
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