Concerns regarding my neices...

I just found this forum, and am hoping to be able to share my thoughts with other people on this board and shed some light on this subject.
Have been concerned about my two nieces and my brother..they either suffer from severe hypochondria or am afraid it may be a form of munchausen. My nieces are now adults , one is 26 and the other is 31, but they have been supposedly suffering from every disease in the book. As they live over an hour a way I do not see them often and they tend to be reclusive, even when I express the desire to visit,,I am not invited up.
My 26 year old neice, I believe is anorexic, was hospitalized many years ago,,according to my brother and sister in law ,it all stemmed from lyme disease, which is what they call her current condition..When seeing her on the few occasions I was lucky enough to visit,,she does not eat anything, she is very thin..does not work , actually both nieces are on public assistance which is very sad.
My older niece has already had a hysterectemy, and again every disease, you name it,,she has had it, hepetitis, bechets syndrome, lyme disease, now in the latest email was told she has celiac disease.
They both live at home and again, do not work or rarely go out.
It makes me so sad to think that those girls never had a chance,,I believe my brother and his wife never motivated them to try to overcome and although there were health issues, they indulged in all of this and that's where the munchausen comes in,,I feel they feed into it and almost enjoy it all in some sick way,, looking for sympathy and use it all as a kind of crutch to insulate themselves from the world.
I know this has been long winded, but have no one except my husband to share all this with as my family is small and parents are deceased .
Would love some feedback..I know there is no black and white regarding this ..but it does feel good to vent and possibly hear back from some of you..
Thanks

Hey,

It could be that they have learned that through talking about illnesses they receive attention, sympathy, and affection. 'Normal' people get such things through other means, such as simply talking to others and asking them how their day as been. So, in the case of your nieces, it is that this part of their lives is skewed and needs to be straightened back to normality. This can only come through learning...

Based on their past, they see their current actions as, for all intents and purposes, 'normal'. It is what they have learned and therefore they won't be willing to change unless they recognise that it is wrong. It is like a child havign been brought up to see wrongs as rights, or vice-versa. To the child, it's normal, but to the vast majority it's not. The anorexia can neither have helped... having such an illness can be truly demoralising and it can seem as if we don't control our own minds at times.

I think that your nieces need to fisrt recognise that they have a problem and then go to a doctor to get a referral to a therapist or psychiatrist. Therapy should be effective in changing their behaviour, but they really do have to first recognise that what they're doing is wrong...

Kevin

My first question is ..does this sound like munchausen?
I know if I ever expressed my thoughts about my concerns they would think I was crazy,,even if I may be right ,they are in denial..
I don't believe anyone has ever challenged them..

It is difficult to say if they have Munchausens - it would be unusual for both of them to have it although I believe some ppl who have suffered through Munchausens Syndrom By Proxy can go on to have Munchausens, so if they were abused in this way it sould be possible - although I am not a professional. I may be like Chucky said that they have realised that being ill genuinally gives them attention they otherwise dont get so they play on this and use their illness for secondary gain. It is difficult to help ppl with Munchausens if it is that tho not impossible. They would need to get intensive therapy with a specialist and be honest. They sound like therapy would help even if it is not Munchausens. Do you think you would be able to bring this subject up with them?

Cracked

Thanks for your reply,, Due to our somewhat strained relationship, it would not be possible to bring this subject up with my brother...
I do know that the grils (ladies) have been in therapy.
What I am trying to learn is, if my brother and his wife have played a part in my nieces illnesses, as to aiding and abbeting, almost making it too easy to overcome each new illness and indulge in them as opposed to giving support in overcoming and leading a normal life.
I do not believe there is much I can do at this time, but going on this board, and possibly learning a bit more about this helps me.. As noted on my previous post, our parents are deceased, no other family members left,,I cannot share my concerns with anyone except my husband....
This has been going on for at least twenty years, my brother , I believe suffered from o.c.d., and is a hypochondriac, but now, it seems the daughters have taken over and it is a very strange situation.

They could have played a part it is difficult to say either by rewarding sick role behaviour in some way or by something more sinister like Munchausens Syndrome By Proxy - although this is only speculation. I am glad they have both had some therapy, hopefully it will have given them some tools tho it does sound from what you say like they are quite entrenched in their behaviour. I hope venting and asking questions here helps you

Cracked

This is a good site with a 16 point checklist to determine if a medic had MSbP. Tick all sixteen boxes and they have Munchausens by Proxy.

Why they have it is unlcear but probably in response ot the treatmnet they had from their own parents.

http://munchausenssyndromebyproxywithad ... asite.com/