It's been five years. I still do this and it gets worse. In my opinion munchausen syndrome is a chronic spectrum disorder, that gets worse as time progresses. It's just not fun anymore, and I feel so paranoid. I used to be so smart, I knew everything about my fake illnesses but now I can't remember any of it, i just keep pressing on without knowing any of my $#%^ and I just don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to be sick, I want to make these lies a truth and get what I deserve. I just want this SO badly... It doesn't make sense. Why would I want this? I complained when I had bronchitis, yet I desperately want cancer or some other equally horrific disease. This isnt fun anymore. It's not, its way past that stage. Now it's just torture and paranoia. I'm so scared that I'm going to get caught, and I know I will if I keep this up any longer. I've already tried many times to get help, nobody believes me... figures. I tell a professional "I have munchausen syndrome please help me..." they say "you have borderline personality disorder" I believe that maybe I do, but I have munchausen tendencies and nobody wants to acknowledge that. I go to my therapy sessions, it's all just talk about my mood. I want to talk about this sick thing that I do. Just for once. I want someone to believe me when I tell them the truth. Instead they just believe the lies. It makes me so upset. I believe that I belong locked up in the hospital, I cannot function in the real world. This obsession with being sick just takes over. My heart is so done with this... I just wish my mind would agree.