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Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

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Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby DWish97 » Sat Feb 18, 2017 9:23 am

It's been five years. I still do this and it gets worse. In my opinion munchausen syndrome is a chronic spectrum disorder, that gets worse as time progresses. It's just not fun anymore, and I feel so paranoid. I used to be so smart, I knew everything about my fake illnesses but now I can't remember any of it, i just keep pressing on without knowing any of my $#%^ and I just don't know how much longer I can do this. I want to be sick, I want to make these lies a truth and get what I deserve. I just want this SO badly... It doesn't make sense. Why would I want this? I complained when I had bronchitis, yet I desperately want cancer or some other equally horrific disease. This isnt fun anymore. It's not, its way past that stage. Now it's just torture and paranoia. I'm so scared that I'm going to get caught, and I know I will if I keep this up any longer. I've already tried many times to get help, nobody believes me... figures. I tell a professional "I have munchausen syndrome please help me..." they say "you have borderline personality disorder" I believe that maybe I do, but I have munchausen tendencies and nobody wants to acknowledge that. I go to my therapy sessions, it's all just talk about my mood. I want to talk about this sick thing that I do. Just for once. I want someone to believe me when I tell them the truth. Instead they just believe the lies. It makes me so upset. I believe that I belong locked up in the hospital, I cannot function in the real world. This obsession with being sick just takes over. My heart is so done with this... I just wish my mind would agree.
DWish97
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Re: Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby Veritatem » Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:23 pm

I'm sorry your so lost with this. Have you read Dr Feldman's books? If you haven't you should as it may give you a better understanding of yourself

I'm sorry you are not getting help. That is really not acceptable. I understand your need to talk about what you are doing. Could you ask for a new therapist?

Good luck and please know your not alone. This will stop one day when you can replace your needs with other healthier things.
Take care x
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Re: Hospital stays and munchausen by internet

Postby Veritatem » Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:34 am

Dwish97
P.s I hear you.....and I believe you
Do you want to expand on here?

This thing got worse for me in my mid teens -early twenties. Spent approx 9 consecutive years in total mostly in hospital. In and out constantly. Medical and psyc.
I wish I could have altered it earlier. So much lost time.

What worked was findng distractions, getting busy. For me it was finding something that gave me purpose, making a positive contribution to the world by helping others starting with finishing my education.

For you it may be different. What makes you light up inside? What makes you feel alive or good? What are you goid at? Do more of that x
Veritatem
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