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How far can one go? (may trigger)

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How far can one go? (may trigger)

Postby sik » Mon May 25, 2015 5:08 pm

Hello, I'm new here. i think i have some Munchausen tendencies.

i'd like to know if you have ever caused permanent damages to yourself. not talking about scars, i mean something internal.... permanent. or if you know anyone who died because of it?

i dont know how far im willing to go and how far it is possible to push your own body.

i would very much appreciate if anyone felt like sharing some of your experiences.

i dont know... maybe to stop me before i go too far.... because im already quite scared by myself, but i have these thoughts and urges to do something....

Thanks.

ps. I hope i didnt say anything against the rules. if so, i didnt mean it and i apologise.
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Re: How far can one go? (may trigger)

Postby angelina4 » Fri May 29, 2015 2:53 am

I personally have a milder version of Munchausens and used to fake mainly psych symptoms, so no I've never permanently harmed myself.

But permanent damage and even death are common in Munchausens. It's a dangerous disorder.

If you're afraid for yourself (and it sounds like you should be) have you considered getting help?
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Re: How far can one go? (may trigger)

Postby promiseme » Sat Jul 11, 2015 1:58 pm

Well how far have you gone already? The answer to that is it depends on the person obvcourse someone can die from this if they do something dangerous.

talk to us. I'm lucky mine isn't anything that requires me to actually being harm onto myself . Because I act symptpms and I don't want any medical attention. I want attention from people who care so I don't need to do anything real to myself.
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Re: How far can one go? (may trigger)

Postby sik » Mon Jul 13, 2015 12:12 pm

Thanks for answering. honestly im conflicted about posting here....
i have made my psychological problems seem worse then they were with the docs.
self harm with stiches and two "attempts".
now i want to become anorexic and end up at the hosp or even die by causing some internal damage with supplements so that it wont be obvious i did intentionally.
i dont want people who care about me's attention, i want medical attention mostly.
is this munchausen or what?
im confused. thanks for answering. its so hard talking about this and admitting it even to myself...
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Re: How far can one go? (may trigger)

Postby sophita18 » Wed Jan 13, 2016 1:24 am

Wow, Sik that's so crazy for me to read your post because I feel similar to you. Im still trying to figure out whether I would be classified as having Munchausen Syndrome because I don't set out to fake the illness by creating the symptoms, I actually want to make myself ill.
I too want to have mental disorders. Although I have actually been diagnosed with social anxiety and depression, I sometimes question how much of my depression is caused by me. I wanted depression to make myself suffer because I thought I didn't deserve a happy life. I feel like I'm reluctant to make improvements.
At the moment I am also starving myself to give myself an eating disorder because I want to put myself in hospital. I don't want any attention from friends or family, but I feel looked after in the hospital.
I have overdosed on my anti depressants and gone to hospital because of it, but I was pretty sure it wouldn't kill me. However, I let some people think that it was a serious suicide attempt. Deep down, I know that I was really panicking at the time, but all I wanted to do was punish myself, not take my life.
I have also self harmed in the past and sometimes it has been because of stress and self punishment, but I also used to do it before visiting my GP because I thought I had to have proof that I was finding things tough. I think that if my situation isn't bad enough, they won't help me.
I now see a psychiatrist because the GP was unable to lift my depression. Every time I see my psychiatrist I get a letter in the post outlining what was discussed in our meeting and also a diagnosis. Seeing my depression go from 'severe' to 'moderately severe' made me angry and upset. It's a challenge for me to have as many problems as possible, and when I read those letters it makes me happy to know that I'm unwell.
In my head, I think that illness is a good thing and my thoughts focus on what I can do next to harm myself. Maybe someone can give their response/reaction to this?
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