Our partner

Adult survivors

Munchausen by Proxy message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Adult survivors

Postby jilkens » Sat Dec 10, 2011 4:53 am

Are any adult survivors of MSBP still in contact with the one who abuse them?

I'm curious to know how others handle the relationship, if any.
Blame it on me, but know that I won't regret one iota.
User avatar
jilkens
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 3582
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:44 am
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:55 am
Blog: View Blog (3)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Adult survivors

Postby fleur black » Tue Dec 27, 2011 2:31 pm

I'm just in process of a court case against the perpetrator with MSbP who caused me great harm over several years.

I don't have any contcat with him but I do keep an eye on what he is doing to others.

I'd say don't get in contcat with your perpetrator as he/she may then set you off on a guilt trip.

keep your distance and if necessary get a police/court injunction to keep perp away.
fleur black
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 21
Joined: Tue Dec 27, 2011 1:23 pm
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:55 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby jilkens » Tue Dec 27, 2011 8:40 pm

I feel stalked by my mother, who was the perpetrator. She initiates all the contact and I have a very hard time to hide away from her because the rest of the family helps her. They all refuse to believe she's evil enough to have made me deliberately ill to gain attention.

How were you able to initiate a court case? I'm starting to be interested in doing the same thing but am unsure what kind of proof is needed.
Blame it on me, but know that I won't regret one iota.
User avatar
jilkens
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 3582
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:44 am
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:55 am
Blog: View Blog (3)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby wordgirl » Wed May 16, 2012 4:08 pm

I am so glad that I found this forum.

Ladyswan, I have had a similar experience.
My mother - perpetrator - has been so convincing to others.
I am estranged from my entire family. She has even convinced her neighbors and extended family that she is so "sweet and innocent" - it has been part of the damage done by her illness. Afterall, MBPS is about the perpetrator getting attention, as much attention as they can possibly achieve no matter what the damage to their victim.
I, too, have felt stalked by my mother. She has contacted people in my life to tell her tales of woe. She has overstepped boundaries to the nth degree. Damage has been done.
I, too, have recently thought of filing suit. I have wondered if it would even be possible to pursue a legal suit for pain and suffering and damages.

Please let me know what you might find out about the ability to file a lawsuit as an adult survivor.
wordgirl
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 14
Joined: Tue May 15, 2012 1:51 am
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:55 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby jilkens » Thu May 17, 2012 3:15 am

hi wordgirl,

I never did go ahead with starting proceedings against her. In the end I decided that would be another barrier to my own recovery. It would also give her a reason to try and contact me more often. If you're able to gather your own medical records and find there is evidence of abuse, it would be worth contacting a lawyer to see what your options are. I'm not sure how well it would go if you couldn't find proof. There might even be a statute of limitations in place.

As soon as my grandmother dies I'll likely fall out of touch with my entire maternal family. Until then I have to deal with vicious rumors and gossip. But, I have fairly thick skin around them. They don't scare me one iota as much as my mom does. It seems to me that as soon as a child victim of MSBP grows up, the perpetrator tries to abuse the adult in different ways.

I think one of the hardest things for someone who has gone through MSBP is the grief of never having a normal mother-child relationship. It causes problems throughout life and hinders relationships.

-LS
Blame it on me, but know that I won't regret one iota.
User avatar
jilkens
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 3582
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:44 am
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:55 am
Blog: View Blog (3)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby sfpseattle » Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:31 pm

Would any of you be willing to share your experiences with me? Your stories are fascinating and show much resiliency and courage. If you're comfortable with sharing your stories, please PM me. I'd like to know more about what it was like growing up with this affecting your every day life. I'm looking to tell stories like these to the public.

Live well.
sfpseattle
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 10:53 pm
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:55 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby Pebbles » Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:59 pm

I broke off contact with my mother a year and a half ago. I changed my phone numbers and stopped talking to my entire family at the same time, as they had always backed her up. Best decision I ever made, and I only wish I'd made it much earlier. No one ever talks about what the victims of MSBP go through in later years, let alone the weird, over-intense relationships they can end up in with their mothers.
Pebbles
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 15
Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2012 5:13 pm
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:55 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby jilkens » Thu Sep 27, 2012 2:38 am

Hey Pebbles,

If you read the other posts on this forum you'll find that your story is echoed by the other survivors here. It really surprised me to learn how other people who were victims of MSBP have the same family issues as I do, and that having to shun an entire family was the only solution. I wish there was more research on this.
Blame it on me, but know that I won't regret one iota.
User avatar
jilkens
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 3582
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:44 am
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:55 am
Blog: View Blog (3)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby Lola2010 » Mon Dec 24, 2012 9:43 pm

About a year after I realised the extent of my mothers damaging influence on my life and for the first time knowing that it has a name and that I wasn't the only one to suffer so, I broke off with my family. I did not tell them directly why, only that I was in therapy because of difficulties as a child. I realised that I would not be able to withstand my mother's confabulations and that likely no-one would believe me. When several years later a few family members (not blood relations) contacted me and asked why I would not speak to my family, I told them everything, without holding back. That did not work, some said they believed me, but now no-one responds to me anymore. I assume that my mother has told them lies, again. I have no idea how to resolve this, I do not want to break up the family, but shudder to think of what she could do to the grand- and great grandchildren. I do not know how to stop her.
It feels like some curse on the family, spreading from one generation to the next. No telling how many in my generation and the generations after us will be repeating it.
Lola2010
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Dec 24, 2012 11:12 am
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 12:55 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Adult survivors

Postby jilkens » Sun Dec 30, 2012 2:27 am

Hi Lola,

Sorry for taking so long to welcome you to the forum.

It's astounding how damaging munchausens syndrome is to families as a whole. So much lying, so much manipulation, so much hurt and hatred. Even the people who are uninvolved in any of the medical stuff get caught in the crossfires.

That's interesting, regarding your family passing it down with each generation. I really wish there was more research on this disorder (or factitious disorders as a whole) to fully study the impact it has on family systems.

I'm in a bit of the same situation in terms of family relations. With the exception of one person (my grandmother) everyone thinks of me as some terrible, hateful person. Everything I've said must be a lie, right? Arg. Emotionally it's easier and healthier for me to step away from them as much as possible.

Hang in there.
Blame it on me, but know that I won't regret one iota.
User avatar
jilkens
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 3582
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:44 am
Local time: Thu Oct 30, 2014 7:55 am
Blog: View Blog (3)


Return to Munchausen by Proxy




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron