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Atypical Munchausen by Proxy?

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Atypical Munchausen by Proxy?

Postby whatisthis » Fri Jun 30, 2017 8:11 am

Hi,
I dont know where to begin.
From the other stories Ive read, Im not sure if this is Munchausen by Proxy. If it is, I feel its very atypical. I would greatly appreciate any feedback or opinions.
I apologize in advance if this comes off as frenzied or disorganized, theres just so much to cover.
I guess I would like to give a background of my mother. My mom grew up in an extremely abusive environment, and as a result suffers from a borderline personality and I believe Munchausen. She is always flying out to see new doctors, getting treatment for her various illnesses. Its always something new. My mother is a chiropractor turned Natropath. To this day, she is always getting ozone injections and other questionable treatments meant to kill her "microscopic cancer" and adrenal and thyroid failure. She is always talking about her physical health; the newest ailment, the newest hurdle. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 2, and he often denied the physical/mental diagnoses that insued.

I will first talk about the physical aspect of our relationship, the aspect which makes me question whether this is MBP.
So. My first memory is rather graphic. She monitored my bowel movements obsessively, and would give me enemas daily if I was not regular. She would scream at me if I couldnt/wouldnt go. If I ever got sick, she would become furious with me. She would yell at me for hours for not washing my hands or going around other kids who were sick. This is what makes me doubt MBP: whenever I got sick, she refused to bring me to the hospital. Since she is a natropath, she would attempt to cure it herself. I was demanded to learn how to swallow pills at the age of 5, and was fed between 15-25 vitamin supplements daily. I was never vaccinated, and have been on my deathbed a dozen times, from pneumonia and other various bacterial infections. Several times, Ive had a fever well over 105 and she would be yelling at me how I wasnt appreciative of her hard work. She was killing herself for me and I didnt even care. All I was allowed to consume was a concoction of garlic cloves and other herbs. If I threw up this concoction she would become even more furious, and insist I was choosing to throw up to spite her. She told me since I had "chosen" to eat gluten I would die. Every skin rash was a serious autoimmune attack, every ailment a result of my poor choices of food (I was 6 at the time, and my nanny would take me out to get a bagel every once in a while). If I got a runny nose, it was because I chose to have a piece of candy, etc.
Around the age of 11, she fed me mass amounts of iodine. She claimed this was to protect me from radiation, but she would take me to get my thyroid hormones tested consisitently during this time. I showed antibodies against my thyroid and from then on I had hashimoto's, (in her own words) which she blamed on me choosing to eat gluten and dairy. She convinced me it was my choice to have thyroid disease. She would often tell others how I made poor choices with food and couldnt take care of myself due to my intellectual deficits. Once I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and dysthymia at age 11, she blamed my diet and refusal to take my vitamins every day. As this slowly grew more severe, she started to seek medication. I was put on Focaline for a diagnosis of ADHD, which was completely diagnosed on her experience of my behavior. I remember being so sick from it, feeling like my heart was going to jump out of my chest. This is around the age that the behavior became much more focused on my intellectual/mental health. She has diagnosed me with countless things, but always refused to take me to a doctor. (MTHFR c677t homozygous, graves disease and hashimotos, hematomachrosis, PANDAS, etc). She always laid the blame on me for not following her regimen exactly. she would lecture me daily about how thousands of people paid tremendous amounts for her expertise advice and how I COMPLETELY ignored and disregarded her knowledge. If I wasnt following her regimen to a tee, I was an awful, disrespectful child who didnt love her (in her own words). She was always complaining to others how she had to take care of such a sick child who had no respect or regard or showed any love towards her. It was all about her taking care of me.

I will now talk about the mental aspect of our relationship.
I remember being constantly brought to various doctors, being tested for intellectual and developmental delays. She describes me not looking her in the eye when I breastfed, and how she "knew" something was wrong with me from the beginning. I remember from a young age she would always ask me why I didnt love her, and relaying to doctors that I was incapable of affection or eye contact. She would talk constantly about how I was developmentally delayed constantly in front of others, which in turn I internalized and came to believe. Whenever she introduced me to someone, she would casually mention that Im "on the spectrum." She would pick me up from school and scream at me on the car ride home "What the ###$ is wrong with you" because I didnt take my vitamins. I was always in tutoring services for children on the spectrum, she had me placed in the special education class, with a diagnosis of ADHD (since she hadnt been able to get an official autism diagnosis yet). This was extremely alienating prevented me from being intellectually challenged or developing any close friendships. I distinctly remember her constantly talking to others about how hard she's worked for me and how she has been my "saving grace" because she got me into the special education program. She would follow that statement up with how hard it was having a child with special needs. I was in occupational therapy weekly for 2 years starting at the age of 8. This involved some very intense physical therapy which included clapping 2,000 times in a row on beat, etc. At the age of 14, I became very depressed and she brought me to many different doctors to be evaluated for autism spectrum disorder. She hopped from clinic to clinic as they all determined I was not on the spectrum (she would never tell me the results, just assure me that I needed more testing) until she found a place that diagnosed me with autism based on her notes of my behavior. From here I was issued an IEP (individualized education program) and placed in a special needs theraputic high school. I was in applied behavioral analysis (a treatment for autism spectrum disorder) for years. 2 of my therapists actually saw the pattern and suggested MBP. I would like to emphasize the magnitude of her talking about being my savior. She would literally say this to others; she was a hard working single mom who had a child on the spectrum and single handedly got me an IEP and proper therapy. It was the majority of her narrative growing up. I cant count how many times I would listen to her express how hard it was having a disabled child.


This leads us to now. Ive been dealing with what's recently been diagnosed as Bipolar 2 (changed from autism spectrum disorder) since the age of 15. My panic attacks are HIGHLY somatic, they are completely consistent of physical symptoms. I always feel like Im having a heart attack/on the brink of death. I have been dealing with catatonic depression and severe derealization, which is terrifying. Ive also dealt with hypochondriasis myself, which is really interesting since most of the people Ive read about despise doctors and hospitals, but I always find myself reaching out for reassurance that I am, in fact, healthy and okay. Its lupus one day, schizophrenia the next. Could this be due to being denied basic doctor visits growing up? Its like I dont even need my mom (we are estranged since I refused to follow her regimen) to continue the munchausen; Im doing it all on my own. My anxiety has become unbearable. Suicidal ideation has been around consistently for the past 5 years. Its this weird limbo of always feeling like Im dying/ being afraid of death yet wanting to die. Its confusing to say the least. I am searching for a path to heal, this consciousness is unbearable at times.

Please let me know what you think, Id love to hear your thoughts.
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Re: Atypical Munchausen by Proxy?

Postby whatisthis » Fri Jun 30, 2017 3:20 pm

I forgot to mention that before these developmental tests she would coach me on how to act; she told me not to try and to be slow. If I didnt get the results she wanted from the test she'd get mad at me for trying.
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Re: Atypical Munchausen by Proxy?

Postby whatisthis » Fri Jun 30, 2017 4:34 pm

ALSO, when I was hospitalized for attempted suicide she was thrilled. She came to know my doctors closely, and spent the majority of her time making a case of autism for them. She had me IQ tested and requested that I be sent to residential treatment for applied behavioral analysis. I was put on every medication under the sun, until she "discovered" my MTHFR C677T homozygous gene, which in her mind was the root of my autism. She would present me to psychologist after psychologist with treatment resistant ASD, and as soon as they began to tell her what she didnt want to hear (that I wasnt on the spectrum) I would be hurried to the next doctor.

Its like this is MBP reversed; she's the doctor, and everyone else is where she receives the sympathy. Its all about her being a resilliant ingenious doctor, struggling single mother, with a disabled child. She talked about it with everyone. If she ever brought me to a medical doctor when I was young, she would end up vehemently disagreeing with them and rant about how they didn't know anything.

Anyway, sorry for posting more, I just keep forgetting to leave out certain important aspects of what happened. Theres much more that occurred that I havent discussed.
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Re: Atypical Munchausen by Proxy?

Postby Terry E. » Wed Jul 05, 2017 4:32 am

Okay, I have read it. I am guessing you have read a bit of what is on here as it may be the best resource on the web for examples of MBP.

It is hard to say, only she will know. It may be MBP ot simply abuse due to her own issues, which appear quite severe.

Can I ask if she has any friends, and what sort of people were they like?

Are you an only child, you don't mention siblings ?

You also don't mention, aunts uncles or grandparents. Did she move away from family ??

Did not you paternal grand parents take an interest in you ?

To be MPB the abuser knows it is she who creates the medical issue. That is probably the biggest key. In your mothers case as she has become for want of a better description and alternative health zealot, she may believe what she has done is best for you.

from what I have seen in abuse, the treatment and isolation, would turn any child upside down. I think you have actually done quite well.

In abuse we like to call ourselves survivors but in actuality we have a lot of victims. I think you can wear the survivor mantle. Long way to go, but I think you will make it.

Please give me some answers to the above.
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