by Emerald_Green » Sat Sep 03, 2016 8:29 pm
I am getting married in a few months. Or, corectly, I was. We have been together for 3 years now and from our very early stages of our relationship we started living together. We were always very close to each other, spending a lot of time together. Even though our age difference - he is 11 years older- I fell for him from the beggining. I felt secure, loved and this relationship gradually became one of the best I ever had, so I decided to accept his wedding proposal. He really wanted this marriage, while I was not. Not because of him , I just believe that marriage is not necessary to have a family. Three months ago he got a job in another area (within the country) and I had to stay behind, due to professional reasons. In July I visited him and we had great time together, talking about our marriage and our future plans. I stayed almost the whole month and then I returned back home. Two days after, I was checking his e-mail account, as he had permitted me to do months ago due to his lack of time and I saw two emails sent to a foreign girl. In the first, he was telling her that he would be glad to see her again, she only had to tell the place and time. In the second, sent the same morning, he was telling her that he had extra job, thus he would be delayed to their date, so she could pass by his job after a couple of hours and they could leave together. I totally freaked out because he had told me that after his job he would return home for relax. I phoned him and he didn't answer. Then, I sent him an sms with greetings to the girl and I deactivated my mobile. He replied me by a message written only my name and a questionmark. We spoke the next day, I phoned him and the only thing he told me was that I left him alone and it was nothing, just a patient who wanted to thank him (he is a doc and this area has many visitors from all over the world). I believed him, I never had trusting issues with him. Was it possible 3 months before our wedding, 2 days after I left injured (had a asmall accident) from there, in a critical for my career period, to cheat on me?! But after that and for quite a few days he was different, I was speaking him on the phone and he answered nothing or just a "yes". Ten days after I checked again his emails and he had just received an email from that lady. Obviously she came from a place really far from here (24 hours flight), she had returned to her home and she wrote him in order to tell him that she was sure for her feelings for him, she was crazy in love for him and that she was sure he was too, even though he tried so hard to deny it ("like a patient who denies his sickness"). She even told that she was imagining their kids in the near future. I phoned him immediately to have some answers about all this. He told me that she was his patient with her boyfriend (couple of tourists that had a car accident), she offered him to go for a coffee to thank him and he accepted, thinking that her boyfriend would come too, but instead she came alone and obviously in a flirting mood. He avoided her for the next days she was there, but she stalked on him, she even used to go every day to the medical centre looking for him. In other words that she was crazy or, even, that she thought she could make a profit from this, blackmailing him (don't ask me how and why)... I asked him to block her email, but he denied, afraid of making her angry, that she may cause problems to his job placing a letter of complaint(sth that I again couldn't understand how and why). Instead he changed his password because didn't want to upset me more. I don't know if they continue to communicate, each time I ask him about this I have the same reply, he insists on the wedding. I just can't handle it, since in a month I have to take some very serious exams, critical for my career. I feel awful, I cry a lot in the course the day, I can't focus on my studying, I can't eat, I can't laugh. I was a happy person and now I feel that my heart is broken. I don't believe him and I have started wondering if for 3 years I was just an idiot, a blind,because I can't believe that if he ceated on me, probably wasn't this the first time. I have to confront also his family and all our relatives, friends etc, all those who know about our forthcoming wedding, not to mention the owners of the wedding venue, the flowershop etc that have already started to call asking for their money . My parents insist on cancelling the wedding or, at least, postpone it. On the other hand, he still says that he loves me, he need me, he wants to have a family with me. I am really confused and depressed. And all this really happened the wrong time for me.