Divorced & Feeling Trapped

Hi I'm new to this particular forum, but I probably should have been writing in here a long time ago instead of emotionally wretching all over the HPD forum. This goes out to all the divorced breadwinners out there who are stuck with a massive child support payment and feel totally and utterly dependent on your job to keep yourself out of family court and/or jail. I've found myself really enjoying alcohol, sex, video games, exercise, golf, and sleeping. I've been pressured to re-marry, but frankly that scares the $#%^ out of me after getting railroaded in court by my delusional HPD ex-wife.

My question is, does the feeling and memories of getting so majorly and royally butt %###$%ed with a rusty post hole digger covered in tabasco sauce ever subside? How do you enjoy your life again without wanting to tell everyone the scary outcome you endured? Does anything even come close to reducing the pain from that injury?

I don't check this site everyday, but I will definitely respond eventually.

Thanks all. And hang in there. One freaking day at a time lol