by bacroadz » Mon Jan 13, 2014 3:02 pm
We talk and talk, she usually ends it saying this is going nowhere or we are just beating a dead horse.
She says I walk around angry or mad at her more often than not. I told her yes I am angry, I have not had sex in nearly two years and haven't had oral since 2008, I am hulk angry, but I still do little things to let her know I love her and care about her. I can and do set aside my hostility and sexual frustration, for weeks or even a month and then make moves on her only to be told this isn't leading to sex or this isn't going where you want it to.
We have had very long talks, We had one yesterday, She says she is not that person anymore and we will never have sex like we use to again. She stated that she had never had anyone ask her to trim or shave down there (which she did all during 2004-2006) and no one had ever spread her legs far apart and spent that much time down there kissing on her or massaging her down there, that it was too dramatic an felt like a doctors exam or a violation. (this was yesterday she told me this) I wish she had said something during the the two years she allowed it. Said said if we ever did get back to where we did have sex it would be missionary only, no more legs this way or that, no more on her knees or standing up or me standing up holding her off the floor in my arms, no more up against the wall, or on roof tops... She said if we ever got back to the point where we were to have sex she just wanted plain and simple missionary and no more oral. ( well isn't that is something to look forward to)
I came onto her one night by kissing here and kissing her neck and placed my hand ( on top of her clothing) on her thigh near her crotch, and she jumped up and said she felt violated. I have asked her since she will not have any form of sex with me if she would let me see her private area to help me out. she refuses and thinks that is odd behavior.
She never had post partum depression. She still wants sex, but with her toys. I placed a note in her nightstand several months back with her vibrator and dildo lube and it stated, please use me instead, I love you and miss you. She went off on me and said that was her private things and that she felt violated and the fact that I had touched them she was never going to use them again and was trowing them away. We had toys and those toys and she had me use them on her back when we use to have sex regularly in 2004 and 2005.
She use to give me oral weekly at the very least now she says that is just something women do to try to please a man or to get them, that no woman like having to do that. I know differently, I have had women tell me they loved it and could tell my their enthusiasm.
I am athletic and above average in looks and in male member size. I have never ever just had plain ordinary sex, I have never ever gone this long without intimacy or sex in my adult life. There are only a couple of my ex's that haven't wanted to get back with me for just sex.
I feel I am dying inside.
Last edited by
bacroadz on Mon Jan 13, 2014 3:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.