I didn't know where to describe my problem, I looked through all the sections in this forum but it does not fit into any category so I decided to put it here..
I'll try to be brief..
So I lead a pretty normal life, I study, look for a job etc. But every three or four days I do something crazy. It usually involves drinking, last time I got into the car of the person I didn't even know and only came home at night. I have been lucky so far that nothing awful has happened to me as a result of these episodic crazy behaviours, but I don't want to live like that anymore, and these episodes happen regularly every three to four days. I just have this impulse which I can't resist, life starts to seem boring, so I go to the liqure store, drink then go "on an adventure" call someone i don't even like or know that well and go all out etc.. The next day I feel awful about myself, I am ashamed and hate myself for my behaviour and I swear to god it won't happen again, but it does .. every three to four days.. And I cannot help it, I tried controlling this behaviour, isolated myself from many people, gave my debit card to my mom, asked her to take my phone so i can't call the people I wanna call, but my attempts have been unsuccessful.. I seriously don't know what's going on.. Do I somehow need more stimulation than regular people, and normal everyday activities and little pleasures of life (like going for a coffee with yourfriend, going to a new cafe or for a walk) are simply not enough for me? I do enjoy these activities, but no matter how often I get this "normal intertainment" it doesn't seem enough to stop me from the episodes or reckless behaviour every few days..
The rest of the time in-between I am a normal person, I like to read, I enjoy studying, especially science related subjects and i spend a lot of time doing it, i am rather quiet, I read, excercise, swim, I don't feel bored or anything like that and if those people who I call to do something crazy with call me on any other day I have no problem not picking up the phone or saying that I'm busy.. But then this impulse comes on and I feel this urge to have crazy and uncotrollable fun..
Do you have any suggestions at what might be the cause of the problem and what I can do about it?