Just looking for some advice..

I'm already going to a Psychiatrist, the 3rd one actually, the first one left after my first visit with him, and a few months into working with the second one I got a letter saying she was leaving too. Now I'm with a lady who doesn't know my name yet and likes to tell me the other doctors were wrong because I don't 'look' crazy. But she did nothing but up my medications and add more to them. So I really don't believe a word she says.

I'm currently on 3mg a day Risperidone, 150mg a day Trazodone, and 10mg a day Celexa/Citalopram. I've having less hallucinations and more sleep, and that's all I've noticed different. Everything else is the same and I feel like a zombie because of the Risperidone, and the Trazodone makes me groggy I think. Because I rarely feel rested but I do sleep plenty since I've been on it.


Anyway I have told my last two Dr's the concerns I have with the meds and they kept/keep telling me to give it more time.

I think I have panic attacks? Something will usually set it off. A movie, an experience, seeing someone, there is usually a trigger. I feel like I'm in mortal danger, I feel hysterical - but I keep it inside unless I'm alone. It goes on for hours usually. I feel scared for my life, or others. The last time it happened was when I was watching the movie Knowing and happened to get a text from someone who's number I didn't have at the time, with them saying something about the world ending soon to freak me out - well it really worked.

And many days I just feel like I'm about to explode, like right now. I feel like crying, hurting myself, hurting others, tearing something up and just screaming my lungs out, I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin. And I feel this way a lot.


The thing is I have no idea how to calm myself when these episodes happen. Any time I mention it's still going on to the Dr(s) I get prescribed a new medication, told I should try a new med with my current ones or told just to keep taking the current ones and seeing of it gets better. My current Dr actually pulled out a mental illness book by the look of it and asked me a question every few minutes, then looked up what my answer meant and then told me. I could use google for that.

I DO have a problem with substance abuse, mostly alcohol, and when I'm feeling this way or having what I think are the panic attacks I really want to drink, smoke, snort SOMETHING just because I don't know what else to do.

I started abusing before I went to doctors for help, because I am so numb emotionally and I can sort of feel when I do drink or do drugs.

The latest Dr. printed out the assessment from the Doc before her and it said I was Schizophrenic, an unspecified psychotic disorder and then something that said it was undisclosed.


Obviously I'm a little frustrated with my doctors and I just want to know for right now what I can actively do when I'm having these breakdowns, it's unbearable. And I'm terrified to talk to family or friends about it because they always end up throwing it back in my face down the road any time I do open up. I tried explaining to a friend last night why I wasn't going out with her and her friends (because I was having a anxiety episode) and she exploded on me about being selfish and having excuses every time she wants me to do something with her, which usually includes her creepy roommates or a bar.

And sorry if this is the wrong area to post.

First off, A Doctor who says the other doctors are wrong and You dont lOOK crazy is a doctor i wouldnt go to. Ever again.
And do your best not to drink and do drugs it can makes symptoms in mental disorders worse. I know about self mediacting and its not a good route to take.
Try asking another doctor some guestions before they ask you guestions, feel them out, that way you might find a more sympathic doctor.
As for friends , surround yourself with positive people who understand your limitations. Friends are supposed to understand your needs without going off on you. Same for your family. Good luck, and have a good day

There's really nothing more I can add to the advice of the member above. If you find that you are having problems stopping the drugs and the alcohol, please mention this to your doctor, as there is help available. They really will make the problems worse.

I really do wish you all the best.

Thank you for the advice, The other me. I also thought that about the doctor, especially because these doctors work together and if she had some thoughts on her diagnosis she could have put it differently and not even mentioned the last doctor. I think it was very unprofessional, and a bit insulting for some reason. I mean, you can't judge who a person is by how they look within five minutes of meeting them. It was just weird.

I haven't done any drugs (besides the prescribed ones and pain killers for my back) for a long while because I realize they do more harm than good. Drinking, on the other hand, I still do. Not to to point it's affecting my functioning negatively - I was at that point before and have certainly learned from it, but now I have the intense urge to drink whenever I can't handle the stress. And that does upset me because I feel like I shouldn't need to drink to help calm myself, it doesn't actually help.