Cinderella & Nanashi,
It wasn't something I posted because I felt like it was a 'cool subject'. On the contrary, I find it disturbing and sad. I wanted to get a vibe from others on here who may have been dealing with the same issues, to try and get a better understanding of how the revelation of ideations of this quality might impact the progression of my therapy.
The reasons for the ideation seem unimportant at this time. And, also, impenetrable. I am young, I am female. I was never abused, never hurt in any form. And homicidality is just one aspect of the problem. Biastophilia, necrophilia, necromutilomania... it's a just a giant chasm of hell and it is sublimely difficult to discuss. And I'm just wondering what will happen when I add homicidal ideation to the mix. I've lied about it for the entirety of our sessions, and this makes me feel like a waste of space.
Thanks for the input and perspectives.
Current clinical diagnoses:
Borderline personality disorder with psychosis.
Previous clinical diagnoses:
Avoidant personality disorder and social anxiety disorder.