Our partner




my life sucks

Open Discussions about how Mental Illness affects your life.

Moderators: masquerade, JohnnyBlaze, Otter, sabrdawg

my life sucks

Postby Anxious » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:05 am

I'm 26 and still live with my mom. I still don't have my BA and I think I'm probably gonna drop the only college course I'm taking right now. I haven't worked in over a year. It's hard for me to find a job because of my social anxiety. I don't even know where to start looking. I don't have a single friend at the moment. There just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel for me :(
Anxious
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 261
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:17 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: my life sucks

Postby Ravine » Fri Feb 12, 2010 10:03 am

HI there, :)

there is no need to have lot of fear in your mind. You can make friends. You can start it being friend with your mother. Talk with her, believe she is your best friend. Then think you can make friends outside. Start acting, don't sit, if you don't do anything, then no one can help you.

First try with your mother. She will understand you. Talk with her.
Ravine
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 1161
Joined: Tue Oct 07, 2008 6:37 am
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:59 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: my life sucks

Postby Anxious » Sat Feb 13, 2010 12:53 am

Thanks ravine!
Anxious
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 261
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:17 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: my life sucks

Postby whatsupmgf » Sat Feb 13, 2010 4:34 am

Hey!

Sorry to hear things I been going so poorly on your end. I know it must be really tough having social anxiety, as a friend of mine went through an INTENSE period of it for a few years after her father died. It was so bad, she couldn't even eat in restaurants--not even an ice cream parlor for fifteen or twenty minutes.

What you need to do is take it a little bit at a time, instead of trying to fix it all at once. For now, instead of taking courses AT a college, take online courses until you feel comfortable being in a classroom situation. Like Ravine said, become friends with your mom first, but then maybe even befriend other relatives until you feel comfortable trying to befriend other people outside of family members. Maybe even give a shot at going to webcam chatrooms, where you see the people, but for now don't have to be physically near them until you are ready.

As far as a job goes, maybe you should try getting a desk job--something in a cubicle where your contact with people will be at a minimum. A job at a store or something will be too much at once for sure, so just start off small.

I know how bad it is when you feel you have no control over your life with an illness like this. I do not have social anxiety, but I have OCPD and it can affect my life pretty badly as well. But let me give you some advice my mom gave me: one day at a time. Don't try to fix everything at once. Don't try and look towards the future on HOW to fix your problem. You cannot fix the past. And you cannot control the future. All you can do is get through TODAY. So try that, okay? And hey, if you just need a friend to talk to, I'd be glad to give you an instant messenger of mine or a cell phone number to text.

:) You've got people here on the forums willing to help you through.
whatsupmgf
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Feb 13, 2010 4:13 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 8:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: my life sucks

Postby IThinkSo » Sun Feb 14, 2010 10:14 pm

I'm 26 and still live with my mom.

It doesn't matter that you're still living with your mom.

I still don't have my BA and I think I'm probably gonna drop the only college course I'm taking right now.

You're currently or very recently were taking a class in college? Well then you're doing more then a lot of people already.
If you do drop the current class you are taking then dropping it doesn't mean you can't get your BA. You can work on getting your BA later.

I haven't worked in over a year. It's hard for me to find a job because of my social anxiety. I don't even know where to start looking.

It sounds like you've been going to school, which if that is the case then not having a job is perfectly fine. However, just in case you think it's your fault that you don't have a job I'd like to remind you that the country has double digit unemployment and the private sector is still shedding jobs.
I hear honest is easy, and hard work breeds success.
IThinkSo
Consumer 2
Consumer 2
 
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 5:32 pm
Local time: Sun Apr 20, 2014 2:59 am
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: my life sucks

Postby Anxious » Mon Feb 15, 2010 5:38 am

whatsupmgf wrote:Hey!

Sorry to hear things I been going so poorly on your end. I know it must be really tough having social anxiety, as a friend of mine went through an INTENSE period of it for a few years after her father died. It was so bad, she couldn't even eat in restaurants--not even an ice cream parlor for fifteen or twenty minutes.

What you need to do is take it a little bit at a time, instead of trying to fix it all at once. For now, instead of taking courses AT a college, take online courses until you feel comfortable being in a classroom situation. Like Ravine said, become friends with your mom first, but then maybe even befriend other relatives until you feel comfortable trying to befriend other people outside of family members. Maybe even give a shot at going to webcam chatrooms, where you see the people, but for now don't have to be physically near them until you are ready.

As far as a job goes, maybe you should try getting a desk job--something in a cubicle where your contact with people will be at a minimum. A job at a store or something will be too much at once for sure, so just start off small.

I know how bad it is when you feel you have no control over your life with an illness like this. I do not have social anxiety, but I have OCPD and it can affect my life pretty badly as well. But let me give you some advice my mom gave me: one day at a time. Don't try to fix everything at once. Don't try and look towards the future on HOW to fix your problem. You cannot fix the past. And you cannot control the future. All you can do is get through TODAY. So try that, okay? And hey, if you just need a friend to talk to, I'd be glad to give you an instant messenger of mine or a cell phone number to text.

:) You've got people here on the forums willing to help you through.


Thanks for the advice. That's what I try to tell myself: one day at a time. I also have OCD, although it's a different type of disorder than OCPD.

IThinkSo wrote:
I'm 26 and still live with my mom.

It doesn't matter that you're still living with your mom.

I still don't have my BA and I think I'm probably gonna drop the only college course I'm taking right now.

You're currently or very recently were taking a class in college? Well then you're doing more then a lot of people already.
If you do drop the current class you are taking then dropping it doesn't mean you can't get your BA. You can work on getting your BA later.

I haven't worked in over a year. It's hard for me to find a job because of my social anxiety. I don't even know where to start looking.

It sounds like you've been going to school, which if that is the case then not having a job is perfectly fine. However, just in case you think it's your fault that you don't have a job I'd like to remind you that the country has double digit unemployment and the private sector is still shedding jobs.


Thanks for the reply. I was very distressed when I wrote the OP. I tend to compare myself to others who are doing better than me and it ends up causing a lot of anxiety and depression for me. I guess things really aren't that bad.
Anxious
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 261
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:17 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: my life sucks

Postby lynney » Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:24 am

my life sucks too,lost my husband 8 years ago. my life will never be the sam again.he was 14 and i was 13 at 19 had my first child at 21 had my second.we were always behind each other at 47 i lost him now im 54 and lost ,dont really know who i am any more im just here.my kids are grown now live withmy daughter and two boys 13&9. im betting tired of taking care, i just give up.sad, depressed loat in space and time.it seems to happen to all kinds of people but how do you get out of it and be satisfied with yourself.dont know what else to say no body wants to hear me anymore. thanx lynney.
lynney
Consumer 0
Consumer 0
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Feb 15, 2010 4:01 pm
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 9:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: my life sucks

Postby ErichFranz » Sun Apr 25, 2010 10:50 am

This might sound cliche, but "man up."
You're wasting the only life you have. You're going to have to try to change it or it will just keep getting worse.
Maybe you should try drinking alcohol to help with your social anxiety (that's what I do.)

I don't know what career goal you have in mind, but if you don't have one I suggest putting off school for awhile and focusing on getting a place of your own. Then go back to school when you're ready.
ErichFranz
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2010 2:18 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 9:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: my life sucks

Postby Anxious » Sun Apr 25, 2010 3:49 pm

ErichFranz wrote:Maybe you should try drinking alcohol to help with your social anxiety (that's what I do.)


Drinking alcohol helps a little but I can't do that all the time. Plus, I don't wanna be a drunk like my dad.

ErichFranz wrote:I don't know what career goal you have in mind, but if you don't have one I suggest putting off school for awhile and focusing on getting a place of your own. Then go back to school when you're ready.


I would if I could afford it.
Anxious
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 261
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:17 am
Local time: Sat Apr 19, 2014 10:59 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


Return to Living With Mental Illness Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 52 guests