Well... I could have future, I could make my future, but that seems pointless.
See I don't have any degree or anything like that. I could go to shool and spend next 3+ years there, but that's not my thing... I just don't give a damn about those diplomas and degrees, they mean nothing to me.
That's the problem... I must have some schooling if I wanna get a job, but I don't see myself bounded doing same thing next 3+ years while the thing don't mean anything to me. I know, it's not necessary just school, I could get a job with this thing that they call "learn while work", get some degree by working. But that's another 3 years too!
I just don't want to do same thing over and over again, but normal human life is like this: go to school, get good grades, after school get a job, work hard, get a wife, buy a big house from suburbs, get two kids and a nice dog, be happy.
BUT THAT'S CRAP IN HANDBASKET!
I don't wanna be like "a normal person", live like a zombie, doing same things over and over again. It's like your life ends at your 25s, after that you just work, sleep, eat, take your kids to kindergarten and go to vacation twice in a year.
I just don't see myself there! I have my limitations due my mental things, I won't say problems/illness, 'cos I have pretty problem free life atm and I don't feel sick, but still it's there.
I kinda like my life right now, but I don't live rest of my life like this, getting only welfare moneys, I NEED thing on my own, but that's the problem.
I'm lost! I see the options, I know I should take one of them, but I don't see myself doing that. You can call me lazy or whatever I don't care. You can say "It's all there, so go for it!", but it's not that simple.
At this rate I'll be 40 y.o without any change and without future, but what I should to do when I don't wanna spend doing same thing more that 6-12 monts at time?
PS. Oh yeah! I am NOT suicidal, so don't worry about that.
...and the bravest man stood alone...