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What next after so much treatment

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What next after so much treatment

Postby snookiebookie » Tue Aug 08, 2017 3:12 pm

Hi

I'm 45 and suffered with anxiety for 20+ years. I originally thought it was depression, but a few years ago realised that anxiety was the root cause. I haven't had a formal diagnosis but it's been suggested that it's social anxiety and generalised anxiety. I also think there's an element of complex trauma as I suffered mental and emotional abuse in childhood with the real threat of physical abuse.

In my 20s I saw my GP and was prescribed dosulepin. I was referred for counselling with an external agency (a charity requiring a small donation at each session, around £10 per week). After six months I was discharged.

A year or so later I went back to see my GP and this time I was prescribed Paroxotine and went to the same external agency. The counselling lasted six months.

Again, the symptoms returned and I returned to my GP. I'd just lost my job and was having problems with my partner. This time I was referred to the community mental health team. I was given an assessment and then given psychodynamic therapy. This was to be long term (2+ years). Sadly, money was running out and causing more problems between me and my partner and the house was at risk. There was only one thing for it, return to work, which meant giving up therapy. I'd tried explaining at interviews, but as there were candidates without mental health problems, I never got the job.

I actually managed to go around 10 years without seeking therapy. But changed jobs quite frequently and still felt miserable. I did have medication, and tried most SSRIs and the usual anxiety meds.

My GP referred me for CBT. It seemed wonderful! But just as I reached the end I had a setback at work. I felt badly dealt with. I submitted a grievance. The outcome was partly in my favour, partly not. Again I needed to work, so had no alternative to return to work. It was hard and they gave me no support.

Feeling alone, I paid for six months of integrated therapy. This included CBT techniques, talk therapy and EMDR. It helped but I still suffered with anxiety.

I was referred for intensive CBT and this gave me new techniques but the anxiety seemed more ingrained than ever.

I saw the mental health nurse at my GP. I explained all of the meds I'd had and all of the therapy I'd had. I asked what else there was. He said that there wasn't anything else. I felt deflated.

For about a year I've struggled. I then found out that the mental health nurse at my GP had changed. I went to see her. She was more thorough in taking my history. She felt that there was nothing else open but self referring to IAPT for CBT. She did say that she'd check with the community mental health team and get back to me. I've not heard anything.

I self referred to IAPT. They suggested that further CBT would be unlikely to help. They did speak to the Psychology team, who said that they only offer short term treatment and I need relapse control and something long term. They suggest I make contact with a charity - similar to the one I had my first counselling with. I'm in a very long waiting list. I will need to contribute for the cost of therapy and I'm not sure if I will be able to afford it.

I've decided to go private. I can only afford once a month, but thought that it's better than nothing. Also I won't be restricted to a set number sessions before they discharge me, it can be ongoing.

What else can I do? My GP's practice seems reluctant to refer to the community mental health team. Besides am I "too well" to be seen by them - I don't self harm, I have a job and I function. What can they offer me that I've not already tried? Is it worth pressing my GP?

My symptoms are negative thinking, fear of humiliation, feeling judged, a mortal fear of making mistakes, Social anxiety, thinking the worst is about to happen, suicidal thoughts, wishing I wasn't here, avoidance, low self esteem, self hatred.

I exercise daily (mainly walking), keep a journal, get a good night's rest, eat healthy (reduced coffee and sugar). I also occasionally do mindfulness and yoga. I attend a peer support group once a fortnight.

What else can I do? What other support can I get! What what can the NHS/my GP offer?
AvPD & INFJ.
A dash of Social Anxiety Disorder and GAD
Possible C-PTSD
Definitely Atychiphobia
BUT .....all round, good egg.
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snookiebookie
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Re: What next after so much treatment

Postby Alucard » Tue Aug 08, 2017 5:01 pm

Hi there.

Sounds frustrating to go through all of that and to no real avail. It's been kind of an up and down battle, I think that speaks for a lot of us too, dealing with the same kind of thing: being brought up and let down, brought up and let down.

I'm in the U.S so I have no clue about the NHS. But as someone who has been through similar ups and downs in the system, what really helped me was getting involved in the mental health community. I've had anxiety since I was a toddler, and trauma, so naturally "getting involved" in anything was very difficult. But I had to take the risk, I was sick of living miserably. Peer programs, a little more extensive than groups, things like peer respites or houses, things that got me around people like me where we get a chance to brush away the idea of sickness and being ill and embrace the very human parts of us, good and bad, has done more for me than therapy has. In fact, I had a lot of trouble talking about my experiences with therapists. I was worried of getting a bunch of diagnoses slapped on me (which happened anyway), about being seen as "mentally ill" when I didn't agree with the term for anyone, about being considered for disability, about a lot of things. So to be around peers and people who understood, I found a place to safely speak about my experiences and be myself. Then my confidence slowly started crawling upwards and therefore my anxiety lessened.

If you're wondering, my formal diagnoses are all over the place. Some thought bipolar 2, depression, social anxiety disorder, ptsd, generalized anxiety, schizotypal, schizophrenia, and the list goes on. None of it ever made any difference. As of now, I obviously still have some mental health issues, but I'm not on medication, and I'm working two part time job positions. I still hear voices, not as frequently, I still hallucinate, my paranoia is bad, but delusion wise I haven't fallen into anything insurmountable in almost a year--a new record. Flashbacks are still here, anxiety is big---you get the point.

Sometimes taking a risk can lead to a life time difference, and sometimes taking a risk includes going outside of the normal realm of mental health services. So I hope you can find some solace in other options somewhere in your country, something, that you feel comfortable with! Alternatives are there, they just have to be looked for super carefully.
I like living in the world in my head because I'm in charge half the time.

https://mentaltruths.wordpress.com/
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Re: What next after so much treatment

Postby psychosquirrel » Tue Aug 08, 2017 7:46 pm

snookiebookie wrote:Hi

I'm 45 and suffered with anxiety for 20+ years. I originally thought it was depression, but a few years ago realised that anxiety was the root cause. I haven't had a formal diagnosis but it's been suggested that it's social anxiety and generalised anxiety. I also think there's an element of complex trauma as I suffered mental and emotional abuse in childhood with the real threat of physical abuse.

In my 20s I saw my GP and was prescribed dosulepin. I was referred for counselling with an external agency (a charity requiring a small donation at each session, around £10 per week). After six months I was discharged.

A year or so later I went back to see my GP and this time I was prescribed Paroxotine and went to the same external agency. The counselling lasted six months.

Again, the symptoms returned and I returned to my GP. I'd just lost my job and was having problems with my partner. This time I was referred to the community mental health team. I was given an assessment and then given psychodynamic therapy. This was to be long term (2+ years). Sadly, money was running out and causing more problems between me and my partner and the house was at risk. There was only one thing for it, return to work, which meant giving up therapy. I'd tried explaining at interviews, but as there were candidates without mental health problems, I never got the job.

I actually managed to go around 10 years without seeking therapy. But changed jobs quite frequently and still felt miserable. I did have medication, and tried most SSRIs and the usual anxiety meds.

My GP referred me for CBT. It seemed wonderful! But just as I reached the end I had a setback at work. I felt badly dealt with. I submitted a grievance. The outcome was partly in my favour, partly not. Again I needed to work, so had no alternative to return to work. It was hard and they gave me no support.

Feeling alone, I paid for six months of integrated therapy. This included CBT techniques, talk therapy and EMDR. It helped but I still suffered with anxiety.

I was referred for intensive CBT and this gave me new techniques but the anxiety seemed more ingrained than ever.

I saw the mental health nurse at my GP. I explained all of the meds I'd had and all of the therapy I'd had. I asked what else there was. He said that there wasn't anything else. I felt deflated.

For about a year I've struggled. I then found out that the mental health nurse at my GP had changed. I went to see her. She was more thorough in taking my history. She felt that there was nothing else open but self referring to IAPT for CBT. She did say that she'd check with the community mental health team and get back to me. I've not heard anything.

I self referred to IAPT. They suggested that further CBT would be unlikely to help. They did speak to the Psychology team, who said that they only offer short term treatment and I need relapse control and something long term. They suggest I make contact with a charity - similar to the one I had my first counselling with. I'm in a very long waiting list. I will need to contribute for the cost of therapy and I'm not sure if I will be able to afford it.

I've decided to go private. I can only afford once a month, but thought that it's better than nothing. Also I won't be restricted to a set number sessions before they discharge me, it can be ongoing.

What else can I do? My GP's practice seems reluctant to refer to the community mental health team. Besides am I "too well" to be seen by them - I don't self harm, I have a job and I function. What can they offer me that I've not already tried? Is it worth pressing my GP?

My symptoms are negative thinking, fear of humiliation, feeling judged, a mortal fear of making mistakes, Social anxiety, thinking the worst is about to happen, suicidal thoughts, wishing I wasn't here, avoidance, low self esteem, self hatred.

I exercise daily (mainly walking), keep a journal, get a good night's rest, eat healthy (reduced coffee and sugar). I also occasionally do mindfulness and yoga. I attend a peer support group once a fortnight.

What else can I do? What other support can I get! What what can the NHS/my GP offer?


I wonder, with all the therapy, have you gained any insight about the cause of your anxiety and depression? Perhaps long-term therapy may help, but once a month is probably not enough.

-- Tue Aug 08, 2017 2:47 pm --

snookiebookie wrote:Hi

I'm 45 and suffered with anxiety for 20+ years. I originally thought it was depression, but a few years ago realised that anxiety was the root cause. I haven't had a formal diagnosis but it's been suggested that it's social anxiety and generalised anxiety. I also think there's an element of complex trauma as I suffered mental and emotional abuse in childhood with the real threat of physical abuse.

In my 20s I saw my GP and was prescribed dosulepin. I was referred for counselling with an external agency (a charity requiring a small donation at each session, around £10 per week). After six months I was discharged.

A year or so later I went back to see my GP and this time I was prescribed Paroxotine and went to the same external agency. The counselling lasted six months.

Again, the symptoms returned and I returned to my GP. I'd just lost my job and was having problems with my partner. This time I was referred to the community mental health team. I was given an assessment and then given psychodynamic therapy. This was to be long term (2+ years). Sadly, money was running out and causing more problems between me and my partner and the house was at risk. There was only one thing for it, return to work, which meant giving up therapy. I'd tried explaining at interviews, but as there were candidates without mental health problems, I never got the job.

I actually managed to go around 10 years without seeking therapy. But changed jobs quite frequently and still felt miserable. I did have medication, and tried most SSRIs and the usual anxiety meds.

My GP referred me for CBT. It seemed wonderful! But just as I reached the end I had a setback at work. I felt badly dealt with. I submitted a grievance. The outcome was partly in my favour, partly not. Again I needed to work, so had no alternative to return to work. It was hard and they gave me no support.

Feeling alone, I paid for six months of integrated therapy. This included CBT techniques, talk therapy and EMDR. It helped but I still suffered with anxiety.

I was referred for intensive CBT and this gave me new techniques but the anxiety seemed more ingrained than ever.

I saw the mental health nurse at my GP. I explained all of the meds I'd had and all of the therapy I'd had. I asked what else there was. He said that there wasn't anything else. I felt deflated.

For about a year I've struggled. I then found out that the mental health nurse at my GP had changed. I went to see her. She was more thorough in taking my history. She felt that there was nothing else open but self referring to IAPT for CBT. She did say that she'd check with the community mental health team and get back to me. I've not heard anything.

I self referred to IAPT. They suggested that further CBT would be unlikely to help. They did speak to the Psychology team, who said that they only offer short term treatment and I need relapse control and something long term. They suggest I make contact with a charity - similar to the one I had my first counselling with. I'm in a very long waiting list. I will need to contribute for the cost of therapy and I'm not sure if I will be able to afford it.

I've decided to go private. I can only afford once a month, but thought that it's better than nothing. Also I won't be restricted to a set number sessions before they discharge me, it can be ongoing.

What else can I do? My GP's practice seems reluctant to refer to the community mental health team. Besides am I "too well" to be seen by them - I don't self harm, I have a job and I function. What can they offer me that I've not already tried? Is it worth pressing my GP?

My symptoms are negative thinking, fear of humiliation, feeling judged, a mortal fear of making mistakes, Social anxiety, thinking the worst is about to happen, suicidal thoughts, wishing I wasn't here, avoidance, low self esteem, self hatred.

I exercise daily (mainly walking), keep a journal, get a good night's rest, eat healthy (reduced coffee and sugar). I also occasionally do mindfulness and yoga. I attend a peer support group once a fortnight.

What else can I do? What other support can I get! What what can the NHS/my GP offer?


I wonder, with all the therapy, have you gained any insight about the cause of your anxiety and depression? Perhaps long-term therapy may help, but once a month is probably not enough.
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Re: What next after so much treatment

Postby Wally58 » Tue Aug 08, 2017 8:43 pm

The mental health facility I was at offered 'aftercare' after graduating from outpatient services. It was less stringent and was to ease us back into life without a structured therapy program. It kept me in contact with the people that I went through program with. Many of us had become close friends throughout the group therapy and it kept us together a little longer.
I supplemented my recovery with regular 12-step meetings. You can find a 12-step program for almost anything, anywhere, anytime.
*mod edit* may have meetings near you?
It is free and anonymous.
*mod edit*
https://www.addictionpro.com/article/tr ... y-12-steps
I had to get away from caffeine and sugar myself. It was creating anxiety. I drank coffee 'because it was there and for free' which got me into trouble. I thought that it was making me work faster and harder, but it was only my brain amped up on coffee.
Recognizing problem areas in your routine and taking care of yourself is where it's at.
Best of luck to you. :D
Last edited by quietgirl2538 on Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Links that contain other forums are not allowed as per forum rules
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Re: What next after so much treatment

Postby delonix » Tue Aug 08, 2017 11:46 pm

As you said, you seem to be ruled by anxiety. Being alone and thinking about it won't help. You need to take your mind off of your problems and feel more confident. One way to achieve this is to try to help others who are suffering from similar problems and are perhaps worse off than you. This will help you to take your mind off of your own problems, provide more insight, boost your self esteem, and make your life worth living. So volunteer to help. I believe in the maxim - if you are helpless, help others!
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