It's so easy to get caught up in things we might have. Especially when there are PDF's of the DSM out on the internet, and you can practically google anything and take "online tests" of mental health issues. A lot of the "symptoms" of mental health problems 1) overlap 2) are very common 3) are explained very vaguely in both the DSM and online, which attributes to the commonality. For example, in my late teens (18, 19) I thought I had borderline personality disorder because my moods were all over the place, I was irate, I'd snap on people in a tenth of a second, and I didn't feel like I had any sort of identity. Those are common feelings a lot of people, especially people with a past like mine.
When you look online or take quizzes online, regardless of whether the website looks "legit" or not, even if you omit the answers to questions like "do you see or hear things that aren't there?" or "you're scared to share your ideas because you're not sure if they're real or not", things that would be obviously indicative of someone who is experiencing life differently than others, and you just answer yes to questions like "you are unable to focus" or "sometimes it feels like your thoughts don't make sense" the result will still tell you that you have "mild schizophrenia" simply because the test states that it's "for schizophrenia" lol. As someone who does see and hear things, and experiences different realities, I find those people who put those tests up online pretty ignorant.
My point is I think it's natural to try and find a place where we feel we fit, in terms of mentality and health. Regardless of a label, it's obvious you are really struggling. You don't need a label to tell you that. You're not satisfied with something going on in your life and that's okay. Maybe you can find some support. A lot of people, if they respond, are going to tell you "go to a professional to get diagnosed" and sure, that's an option. It's what everyone feels comfortable with because it's what most people feel they have to do. But there are other options too, for support. Groups, peers, activities, local things.
Anyway, I wish you luck.