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Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

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Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby coldhearted123 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:49 pm

Hi everyone, I am a 27 years old girl from an Asian country. I think I have some kind of disorder but I don't know what it is.
Can you please help me?

My symptoms are:
- I like looking at the mirror (so my father does)
- I have lived 10 years away from my family, and I never got homesick, and never missed anyone in the world
- I can live the rest of my life without seeing my parents and sisters again, and would not be sad about that
- I can't love anyone. Actually I don't know what love is
- Some of family members and close relatives passed away and I didn't feel anything. I couldn't feel the loss
I just felt like some other events were happening like the table was broken, or the phone was died
- After moving to another place, I don't think of the old places, old people much
- Most of the time, my mind is busy making up the scenarios, analyzing, or reminiscing the conversations and events
- My feeling towards family members or close friends, is just like my feeling towards the new people that I have just met, except I have more memories, more trust on family members and close friends
- Imagine that my family members or close friends passing away, I don't feel hurt or loss, I think I won't cry
- Basically I can't have emotional connections with other people. I just feel like humans are things


Beside those:
- I'm good at logical thinking, analyzing
- I'm a introvert person. I feel most comfortable at home, sometimes I feel tired, exhausted in group of large people
- I'm a shy, diffident person. My self-esteem/confidence is pretty low. I don't like dancing, singing, talking in front of people
- I'm a kind person. I want to help people in need, and usually be nice to people
- I don't want to be a leader, I want to be a follower and working at back office
- I can't stand much pressure
- I often over worried or scared (of bosses, ghosts...)
- I'm sensitive, easily got miserable/sad when people criticizing or being mean to me
- Sometimes I still got touched by moving/touching articles or videos
- I always consider if my actions are right/wrong, should/or shouldn't I do them
- I still like having fun time with people
- I still have other feelings like angry, excited, sad, disappointed, ect.

Do you know what disorder do I have? I would appriciate a lot.
(Sorry for my bad English)
Last edited by Echinacea on Wed Mar 15, 2017 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Moved from NPD forum
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby NewSunRising » Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:23 pm

Welcome coldhearted123 ,

No one here is allowed to diagnose anyone , only your own medical professional can give you advice as to whether you may or may not have a disorder . Is there someone you can talk to about this ?

Everyone feels things differently . It's very possible that that you do not have a mental illness or disorder but it is still something that you can talk about here and maybe find other people who are experiencing the same things .
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby moleculeoflife » Wed Mar 15, 2017 7:05 pm

It is easier to know if you read about a few disorders and see if you have similar symptoms. Just to name a few you can read about: narcissistic personality disorder, schizoid, depression, melancholia, dysthymia.
Also see this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_detachment

But the best thing to do is as NewSunRising said, talk to a professional or a therapist if you suspect some disorder.
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby heracles » Wed Mar 15, 2017 11:02 pm

You sound much like me.

Sorry your post got moved.

Good luck.
Intermittent, intense angst & sensucht . Covert somatic narcissism/Pseudo-Body-Dysmorphia. Secret, languid schizoid. Dysthymia. Gerascaphobia. Dorian Gray Syndrome. Avoidant. Iatraphobia. Psychiatraphobia. Self-Indentified. Just traits? High on the spectrum? Full blown? Doesn't matter to me. Not on meds. INTJ.
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby Pi31415926535 » Fri Mar 17, 2017 6:57 am

Have you been abused by your family?

Anyway, it sounds like you have some self esteem and attachment/trust issues. Maybe you have avoidant personality disorder? That is just a guess and it is best to talk to a psychologist, best of luck!
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby Holodeck » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:32 pm

You sound a lot like me before I started getting help. Now that by no means is me saying I have a diagnosis. I do believe you should seek out advice from a psychologist either way. Also note that if the first person you go to isn't seeming like a good fit, then try someone else. I lucked out with mine, but if I took my car to a guy, and found him to be a bad mechanic, I'd go to another one. Same thing goes for shrinks.

Sorry this might be a bit long, but I want to help in any way I can.

Now I was diagnosed with pure OCD as a kid. My parents both have it as well, and I was conditioned to do things the correct way or be forced to repeat it until it was correct, then more times to drill it in my head. This is still a thing that I do, and the main reason I'm getting help from a therapist.

It causes me a LOT of stress with random intrusive thoughts of things I desperately NEED to do.

I don't know what all you've been through, but it sounds like you too have been through some stress. At the time when I started seeing my psychologist I was so emotionally numb I was diagnosed as a schizoid (not saying you are one, simply stating that was my emotional state or lack there of).

People will tell you that exercise reduces stress and can get you somewhat mentally back on track. Can it? Sure! Here's the thing though. When you're already apathetic about anything and everything, motivation isn't the easiest in the world.

I was having some serious health issues for a while that kept becoming progressively worse. The symptoms were that of magnesium deficiency.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnesium ... _(medicine)#Signs_and_symptoms

One fun note...apathy is a side effect. What annoying is you can't easily test for the deficiency. It doesn't show up in blood tests for instance, but after I started taking it all those nasty symptoms I had were gone. Here's another good article on things it does for the body in a more simplified format.

https://www.sott.net/article/276505-8-W ... s-hormones

Now does this mean I shouldn't see a therapist? Are my emotions fully fixed and no longer schizoid? No. Do I feel emotion more now? Yes. I barely felt it at all if ever before. Are there days when I have more emotion and days when I've taken less magnesium than I should and turn into an android? You betcha.

Either way, it's something you should probably look into if it bothers you enough to ask about it here.
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby coldhearted123 » Sat Mar 25, 2017 4:22 am

Thank you, @NewSunRising, @moleculeoflife and @Holodeck for your advice.
I have read about the narcissistic personality disorder, schizoid, depression, ect. but nothing seems to match my case. I will try to reach out to a psychologist then.

@heracles: thank you, Heracles. You made me feel better, I read your blog and I can see myself there. You're not the only one.

@Pi31415926535: Thank you for your words. My parents were so good to me, they never abused me. But I don't know why I cannot feel the connections, not only with them but to human in general.
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby heracles » Sat Mar 25, 2017 7:52 pm

coldhearted123 wrote:@heracles: thank you, Heracles. You made me feel better, I read your blog and I can see myself there. You're not the only one.


Thank you! Glad some people are reading my words of wisdom, even though few comment.
I'm afraid this forum probably isn't the place for logical, analytical thinkers like you and me. Questioning is sort of a faux pas here. (There are no philosophers here, Winston, only the disordered...).

Good luck with the psychologist. I sincerely hope it works for you. Please let us know if it does or doesn't.
Intermittent, intense angst & sensucht . Covert somatic narcissism/Pseudo-Body-Dysmorphia. Secret, languid schizoid. Dysthymia. Gerascaphobia. Dorian Gray Syndrome. Avoidant. Iatraphobia. Psychiatraphobia. Self-Indentified. Just traits? High on the spectrum? Full blown? Doesn't matter to me. Not on meds. INTJ.
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Re: Please help me, I don't know what disorder I have

Postby Holodeck » Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:22 pm

heracles wrote:
coldhearted123 wrote:@heracles: thank you, Heracles. You made me feel better, I read your blog and I can see myself there. You're not the only one.


Thank you! Glad some people are reading my words of wisdom, even though few comment.
I'm afraid this forum probably isn't the place for logical, analytical thinkers like you and me. Questioning is sort of a faux pas here. (There are no philosophers here, Winston, only the disordered...).

Good luck with the psychologist. I sincerely hope it works for you. Please let us know if it does or doesn't.


I'm confused. Why is questioning faux pas? Maybe I'm simply too new here, but I love questioning. This actually seems like the perfect place for it.

Either way, @coldhearted123 like he said please let us know what happens. Very interested to read the results.
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