You sound a lot like me before I started getting help. Now that by no means is me saying I have a diagnosis. I do believe you should seek out advice from a psychologist either way. Also note that if the first person you go to isn't seeming like a good fit, then try someone else. I lucked out with mine, but if I took my car to a guy, and found him to be a bad mechanic, I'd go to another one. Same thing goes for shrinks.
Sorry this might be a bit long, but I want to help in any way I can.
Now I was diagnosed with pure OCD as a kid. My parents both have it as well, and I was conditioned to do things the correct way or be forced to repeat it until it was correct, then more times to drill it in my head. This is still a thing that I do, and the main reason I'm getting help from a therapist.
It causes me a LOT of stress with random intrusive thoughts of things I desperately NEED to do.
I don't know what all you've been through, but it sounds like you too have been through some stress. At the time when I started seeing my psychologist I was so emotionally numb I was diagnosed as a schizoid (not saying you are one, simply stating that was my emotional state or lack there of).
People will tell you that exercise reduces stress and can get you somewhat mentally back on track. Can it? Sure! Here's the thing though. When you're already apathetic about anything and everything, motivation isn't the easiest in the world.
I was having some serious health issues for a while that kept becoming progressively worse. The symptoms were that of magnesium deficiency.https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnesium ... _(medicine
One fun note...apathy is a side effect
. What annoying is you can't easily test for the deficiency. It doesn't show up in blood tests for instance, but after I started taking it all those nasty symptoms I had were gone. Here's another good article on things it does for the body in a more simplified format.https://www.sott.net/article/276505-8-W ... s-hormones
Now does this mean I shouldn't see a therapist? Are my emotions fully fixed and no longer schizoid? No. Do I feel emotion more now? Yes. I barely felt it at all if ever before. Are there days when I have more emotion and days when I've taken less magnesium than I should and turn into an android? You betcha.
Either way, it's something you should probably look into if it bothers you enough to ask about it here.