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Can't make myself go to therapy

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Can't make myself go to therapy

Postby ghostfalsetto » Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:46 pm

Hello
I have finally caved in and done this. My problem is that I can't make myself go to therapy. There are several reasons
1. I went to therapy when I was 14 and because I have difficulties expressing my emotions and understanding my feelings I was not taken very seriously. I was given CBT and the sessions ended up revolving around my chronic fatigue rather than my mental health. I told my therapist I was having panic attacks and this wasn't taken very seriously either. Due to this I constantly feel like I am overexaggerating my problems and am scared of goin back to therapy because I'm scared I'll be ridiculed or not taken seriously.
2. My moods fluctuate to the point where I will open up the counselling form, fill it out, and by the time i've filled it out I won't want to go anymore because I think I'm fine now.
3. I will take online tests and if i get a low score I will feel like a fake.
4. Most of my friends are in therapy and have depression or other mental health problems. Once I was called' the normal one' in the group because I wasn't in therapy. My friends are all highly functional and successful human beings. Lots of people like them and they are good people. I am completely dysfunctional and have been for over 6 years, I am bitterly jealous that they have been taken seriously at therapy and I haven't because I know I am very sick and they aren't. Because of this I won't go to therapy because I don't want to be like them and have them try to compare our conditions because are conditions are NOTHING alike. I would rather suffer in silence.
5. I want to get so bad that people are forced to notice without me taking the initiate. I love to pity myself and I want others to pity me too. Deep down I know I should go to therapy but I'm just so sad that nobody even cares or notices. I have a martyr complex basically.
6. I still can't express myself and I have no idea what is wrong with me. I feel like I'm utterly insane. If I went to therapy, I have no idea what I would say. I might just cry.

What do you think... :?:
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Re: Can't make myself go to therapy

Postby julllia » Fri Mar 10, 2017 2:40 pm

Me too and I do not know why.is one of these things that is irrational and I can't introspect to fix it.
I just can not bring myself to pick up the phone or to search to find someone free or to close an appointment or go.
All I know is I feel too tired after work and I do not want to do it, I can't find motivation.although I feel I need help.
Maybe I think they can not help.i will just go and get more disappointed and hopeless.but OK what do I have to lose.Just to try.
On one hand I am desperate I need help ,on the other I can't bring myself to go.
Plus Reading stories about therapists here , most of them seem like assholes who lack any kind of understanding and might even be narcissistic themselves.
I also do the same where one minute I think I am sick and the next I think nothing is wrong with me.
Sorry if I can't give you advice I am just written because I relate with the title.
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Re: Can't make myself go to therapy

Postby heracles » Fri Mar 10, 2017 10:30 pm

I know I'm going to get in trouble, but I can't understand why so many people have this almost cult-like belief in "therapy" even when they're ignored, abused and grossly over-charged. Why do you think therapists are so wise? Don't you have any skepticism at all? Don't you question anything, philosophically? Is it possible none of these therapists have a clue what's wrong with you or how to fix you any more than you do? Is it possible that you, actually experiencing the problem, has a better understanding than they do. Maybe your doubts aren't irrational at all. Maybe you've just been brainwashed into thinking they are. Maybe just watch some YouTube, read some books or articles and start a face-to-face self-help group.
I guess these are dangerous ideas....
Intermittent, intense angst & sensucht . Covert somatic narcissism/Pseudo-Body-Dysmorphia. Secret, languid schizoid. Dysthymia. Gerascaphobia. Dorian Gray Syndrome. Avoidant. Iatraphobia. Psychiatraphobia. Self-Indentified. Just traits? High on the spectrum? Full blown? Doesn't matter to me. Not on meds. INTJ.
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Re: Can't make myself go to therapy

Postby julllia » Fri Mar 10, 2017 10:43 pm

The problem is that you can not help yourself,usually you are unable to help yourself.
So you want someone else to help you.
I doubt that others can help either but you do not have much choices if you are unable to do it on your own
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Re: Can't make myself go to therapy

Postby sunshineNrainbows » Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:06 am

heracles wrote:I know I'm going to get in trouble, but I can't understand why so many people have this almost cult-like belief in "therapy" even when they're ignored, abused and grossly over-charged. Why do you think therapists are so wise? Don't you have any skepticism at all? Don't you question anything, philosophically? Is it possible none of these therapists have a clue what's wrong with you or how to fix you any more than you do? Is it possible that you, actually experiencing the problem, has a better understanding than they do. Maybe your doubts aren't irrational at all. Maybe you've just been brainwashed into thinking they are. Maybe just watch some YouTube, read some books or articles and start a face-to-face self-help group.
I guess these are dangerous ideas....


I don't think they're dangerous ideas. Every now and then, there should be an argument or two about why professionally trained therapists will generally have better advice to offer than self-help books and YouTube videos. The single biggest difference between therapy and self-help is therapy is made for an individual person and offers on-going opportunities to learn from failures (however, this can take time and the initial skepticism of a psychologist can make them seem like they don't care and aren't taking concerns seriously). Self-help, although sometimes extremely thought-provoking, only offers general advice with no follow-up care if the person seeking help experiences problems. Good self-help writers will research what works for most people and advise we do that. If you're most people, then great, but what do you do when we're not most people? Although therapists can be unhelpful, expensive, or seemingly abusive, as a whole they're still generally going to have a greater potential to offer meaningful assistance more often than the alternatives.

-- Fri Mar 10, 2017 8:09 pm --

ghostfalsetto wrote:Hello
I have finally caved in and done this. My problem is that I can't make myself go to therapy. There are several reasons
1. I went to therapy when I was 14 and because I have difficulties expressing my emotions and understanding my feelings I was not taken very seriously. I was given CBT and the sessions ended up revolving around my chronic fatigue rather than my mental health. I told my therapist I was having panic attacks and this wasn't taken very seriously either. Due to this I constantly feel like I am overexaggerating my problems and am scared of goin back to therapy because I'm scared I'll be ridiculed or not taken seriously.
2. My moods fluctuate to the point where I will open up the counselling form, fill it out, and by the time i've filled it out I won't want to go anymore because I think I'm fine now.
3. I will take online tests and if i get a low score I will feel like a fake.
4. Most of my friends are in therapy and have depression or other mental health problems. Once I was called' the normal one' in the group because I wasn't in therapy. My friends are all highly functional and successful human beings. Lots of people like them and they are good people. I am completely dysfunctional and have been for over 6 years, I am bitterly jealous that they have been taken seriously at therapy and I haven't because I know I am very sick and they aren't. Because of this I won't go to therapy because I don't want to be like them and have them try to compare our conditions because are conditions are NOTHING alike. I would rather suffer in silence.
5. I want to get so bad that people are forced to notice without me taking the initiate. I love to pity myself and I want others to pity me too. Deep down I know I should go to therapy but I'm just so sad that nobody even cares or notices. I have a martyr complex basically.
6. I still can't express myself and I have no idea what is wrong with me. I feel like I'm utterly insane. If I went to therapy, I have no idea what I would say. I might just cry.

What do you think... :?:


If you go, you might feel speechless, embarrassed, or frustrated with some of your concerns about yourself not being addressed.

If you don't go, you might not learn some potentially life-changing ideas about yourself.

In other words, I think you have much more to gain than you have to lose from giving it another shot, ghost.
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Re: Can't make myself go to therapy

Postby salted lipstick » Sun Mar 12, 2017 12:49 pm

Hi ghostfalsetto,

Therapy is essentially about giving you personalised assistance for you yourself to examine your problems, their causes and what you might be able to do about them. From what you've said, it sounds like you are more looking for validation of your problems from your therapist, this is in itself a problem. You don't really offer any reasons why you want to look at and work through your problems in therapy, rather suggest it as a place to receive validation that you are unwell. Given that receiving validation of your unwellness is not the purpose of therapy, this wouldn't be appropriate to pursue therapy solely for this reason. However, if you wanted to look at why you so vitally need the validation of your unwellness from another person, then therapy would be an appropriate space for this pursuit. And also any other problems you might have that you wish to look into further.

Ultimately, if you don't want to go to therapy, don't. You kind of sound like you want to be convinced into it but if you don't want therapy to work through stuff yourself with the assistance of another, then you don't want it. No-one really has the right to decide the best option for you except you and it sounds like you've decided so far that your best option isn't therapy. If you are comfortable with your reasoning for this decision, then this is entirely your choice to make. You have chosen to live as you are and no-one can tell you this is the wrong choice given that it is your choice to make.

Personally I think you might find it helpful to talk openly with a therapist about your fears of being ridiculed or not taken seriously and to work through that, but again, it doesn't really matter what I think. It is your choice and your decision and currently you have chosen no to therapy and to continue life as you are and that it is your choice to make, I deeply respect that.

ghostfalsetto wrote:What do you think... :?:


What do you think? :wink:
In a way, I am not defined by my dissociation. In a way, I am.

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Re: Can't make myself go to therapy

Postby Holodeck » Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:47 pm

Wow and I just made this reply too. Like I said in the post, no guarantees but good luck all the same!

post2009713.html#p2009713
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