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Mental Illness and the Church

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Mental Illness and the Church

Postby AmandaBroken » Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:04 am

I'm new here. I hope this is in the right place. If it's not in the right place will you move it and let me know where you moved it too.

I'm wondering if anyone else is facing issues like this.

A little History. I was raised in the church. I went every Sunday. I went to every youth group meeting, and every other event my parents took me too.

After my parents died I changed. I wasn't that pristine little girl anymore. I was rebellious. Angry. Very angry. My older sister was raising me and I went wild. Sexy clothing, piercings, tattoos, and cutting.

My church was not supportive. They called everything I was doing sin, and they put a lot of pressure on my sister and me to not go to doctors, to not take drugs, and to just rely on prayer and Jesus. It wasn't working. Maybe it was me. Maybe I was evil. According to them, I was evil, and over time there was talk of banning me. So I just stopped going. I felt I needed the medication, the doctors, and the counselors.

Jesus was not enough, at least not for me.

I then turned in a way that the church will never accept me. I turned my sexuality towards women. That was the final straw. Now it's change my life or go to hell. I don't want to go to hell.
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby Otter » Fri Feb 10, 2017 6:01 am

Please direct your responses to the OPs sincere post. If a "God debate" breaks out or people start insulting each other, this thread will be locked.
Ugh.
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby Saltire » Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:41 am

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling since the passing of your parents.

I can't typically help on the acting out part but what I do know is that sexuality is fluid and you shouldn't let anyone tell you different.

If you're beliefs conflict with those of your church then I think it's time to find another church. There's many out there that will welcome you with open arms, as the teachings that they follow are subjective and each church will feel differently about the 'Issue of Homosexuality'.

Best of luck and I hope things start to calm down for you soon.
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby AmandaBroken » Fri Feb 10, 2017 7:17 pm

Thank you for responding. I keeping hoping for this to all go away, but I have a feeling it won't.
Until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of.
It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again,
but stronger than ever.
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby AmandaBroken » Sat Feb 11, 2017 1:16 am

Trigger Warning...

Since losing my parents I have had issues dealing with loss and grief. Sometimes, even in the middle of class, I will find myself crying. Sometimes just a few tears, sometimes like the falls at Niagara. If I hear someone say "I'm so sorry dear," one more time. It has been six years and the wound is still open. I have taken down all of the family pictures, thrown out all of their clothes, gave away their furniture, I even have forbidden my sister to mention them. What makes all this worst. I haven't shed one tear over my mom. Well, not anymore. I don't miss her. Does that make me a bad person?

My dad, on the other hand, I miss him a lot. I can't get him out of my head. He haunts my dreams, and every time I do. I cut. I'll wake up in the morning covered with blood. My doctors say I'm lucky to be alive. I don't remember these incidents, and that scares me. My sister even sets her alarm to come check on me in the night to make sure I'm okay. It's a terrible way to live. I'm not a strong person. The only thing that keeps me going is school. I excel in school.

What I miss. What I need. Is human love. I have mentioned elsewhere that I had stopped going to church. Even so, the church has still cut me off, even friends don't talk to me. I've been excommunicated. I'm sorry I gotta go...
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby AmandaBroken » Sun Feb 12, 2017 11:01 pm

This was not the worst day of my life but...

it was close!

I have missed church before, due to sickness, family vacations, school trips, etc. But never because I was not welcomed. I feel empty, numb, sick, and angry. I spent the time today in bed, crying, crying, and did I say crying. My sister sat with me most of the day. Between crying, we shared stories, read the Bible, prayed, and ate. She made me breakfast and lunch and we just finished watching a movie. So all in all the day could have been much worst.

I'm still hoping some of my friends will call me. I won't hold my breath. Some won't call because of their parents but since most are my age I am hoping they will.
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby AmandaBroken » Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:41 am

This post is not presented to create an argument. It is meant to clear the air. I will not debate this. It is based on what I know and have experienced in my life. Please, I need hugs not a counter argument against the church. Also, I don't want this thread closed.

Amanda

This was a post in response to a PM.

Thank you very much for your words. You seem to have some history with the church or bible. I want you to know I understand why they excommunicated me. I told them I was a lesbian. I told them I was involved with another girl (I did not tell them who) and we did heavy petting. No more than touching each other through our clothes. I told them I was going to date only girls and would sleep with one if I had the chance. They spent months trying me to recant and I did not. I held my ground. The Bible clearly teaches women should not lie down with another woman. They were correct for disciplining me but it still hurt.

I still believe in Jesus. I still believe he is my Lord and Savior. I hope he will show me mercy. I have punished myself a lot this last week. I have cut more in the past week than in the last month.

I am thankful for school and the friends I have there. They have been good to me this past week.

Again, Thank you for listening. I am going to repost this note to my thread on the Church.

Amanda
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby julllia » Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:59 am

I know I will totally regret writing here and I should ignore it.i know it. You remind me a close minded grandmother.
Being gay is not a sin. Do you hurt anyone? No,you just love someone.
Cutting yourself is more of a sin.you are hurting yourself. Still nomatter what you did,a loving church should welcome you and try to help you.
And go to the fricking doctors if you need medicine. You can not be cured without doctors.
Are you sure you are not 90 or something.You sound incredibly close minded and strange.
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby AmandaBroken » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:02 am

julllia wrote:I know I will totally regret writing here and I should ignore it.i know it. You remind me a close minded grandmother.
Being gay is not a sin. Do you hurt anyone? No,you just love someone.
Cutting yourself is more of a sin.you are hurting yourself. Still nomatter what you did,a loving church should welcome you and try to help you.
And go to the fricking doctors if you need medicine. You can not be cured without doctors.
Are you sure you are not 90 or something.You sound incredibly close minded and strange.


I'm sorry you feel that way. I stand by my statement.
Until you're broken, you don't know what you're made of.
It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again,
but stronger than ever.
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Re: Mental Illness and the Church

Postby Goodboy » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:08 am

I'd try and see a psychiatrist about getting some help if your harming yourself.

As for the church your not going to hell, just believe in God.
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