Hi - First post here - Don't know if this is the right place for this. If I'm wrong then I apologise.
for a few years my wife has been saying she thinks I have some kind of disorder, maybe like autism, but I always thought this was something kids have. I work away a lot, and from curiosity I did some online tests very honestly, and scored quite high. The main things my wife has noticed and I acknowledge are:
(I) I tend to get very confused and stressed when things are in a mess - like stuff left out
on a table. I get confused and cant 'see the wood for the trees'.
(ii) Really sensitive to outside noise. We once lived in a flat, any movement or footfall
above stopped me focusing, cant help it, seemed like my world was caving in, couldn't
think clearly, had to tell myself its not a personal attack on me. We had to move.
(iii) I have to make an effort to mix with people, its not that I don't like them - I just feel
uncomfortable making pointless conversation.
(iv) I have always been obsessed with mathematics, achieving a lot in life because of this ,
self-taught (advanced number theory and other areas), I love numbers and just see
things but don't understand why other people don't just see things.
(v) I sometimes see people, not exactly as an enemy, but an inconvenience, hate crowds.
I could carry on but these are the most obvious thngs to my wife, and Ive ignored her observations for a very long time. But I've always been like this. I don't want to self diagnose for obvious reasons. When I was a child I was a real loner, When I was younger I used alcohol to integrate more socially, had difficulty with relationships, stopped this destructive behaviour a long time ago though - it lead to usual problems and made me depressed.
At a surface level my life probably appears normal, even successful in some sense, but under the lid, social interaction is and always was extremely difficult, like I see the world differently to how I think other people see it - different values maybe.
I repeat my original point that I don't know if this is the right place to post, so any pointers or indicators enabling me to proceed with this would be appreciated. Thanks.