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Unsure if I have a problem

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Unsure if I have a problem

Postby MarkName1 » Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:02 am

Hi - First post here - Don't know if this is the right place for this. If I'm wrong then I apologise.

for a few years my wife has been saying she thinks I have some kind of disorder, maybe like autism, but I always thought this was something kids have. I work away a lot, and from curiosity I did some online tests very honestly, and scored quite high. The main things my wife has noticed and I acknowledge are:
(I) I tend to get very confused and stressed when things are in a mess - like stuff left out
on a table. I get confused and cant 'see the wood for the trees'.
(ii) Really sensitive to outside noise. We once lived in a flat, any movement or footfall
above stopped me focusing, cant help it, seemed like my world was caving in, couldn't
think clearly, had to tell myself its not a personal attack on me. We had to move.
(iii) I have to make an effort to mix with people, its not that I don't like them - I just feel
uncomfortable making pointless conversation.
(iv) I have always been obsessed with mathematics, achieving a lot in life because of this ,
self-taught (advanced number theory and other areas), I love numbers and just see
things but don't understand why other people don't just see things.
(v) I sometimes see people, not exactly as an enemy, but an inconvenience, hate crowds.

I could carry on but these are the most obvious thngs to my wife, and Ive ignored her observations for a very long time. But I've always been like this. I don't want to self diagnose for obvious reasons. When I was a child I was a real loner, When I was younger I used alcohol to integrate more socially, had difficulty with relationships, stopped this destructive behaviour a long time ago though - it lead to usual problems and made me depressed.
At a surface level my life probably appears normal, even successful in some sense, but under the lid, social interaction is and always was extremely difficult, like I see the world differently to how I think other people see it - different values maybe.

I repeat my original point that I don't know if this is the right place to post, so any pointers or indicators enabling me to proceed with this would be appreciated. Thanks.
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Re: Unsure if I have a problem

Postby sunshineNrainbows » Thu Feb 09, 2017 8:00 pm

Hiya, Mark. Welcome to the forum. Although we can't offer a diagnosis or anything like that, what we can offer here is food for thought.

My major take away is your mind, regardless of whether you have a disorder or not, is more sensitive to stimulation than most. In addition to preferring less interaction with people and being more disrupted by noises, you probably also have much more in common with those of us who get categorized as introverts. You probably prefer your music a little quieter, stories with more subtle developments and an emphasis on how character's think and feel, more complexity than simplicity (such as deep conversations over small talk), and more. If so, it's because you, like most introverts, require less to find something interesting (as well as also requiring less to be bothered by something).

It can be difficult to be introverted in some cultures. If you're an American, like me, you've probably been exposed to a huge tendency in our culture to view introverts and introverted behavior as less desirable. Much of the negativity you feel toward yourself and experience from your wife might be reflective of a larger personal problem, like a disorder. However, it also might be because you live in an area where it's more greatly expected to be outgoing and not bothered by disruptions. Some of the discomfort you feel might not because of a problem you have but mainly because of a problem we all have with what we've learned and been taught to expect from ourselves and others.

Nevertheless, if you don't think what you're experiencing isn't just because people have much different expectations for how you should act than how you prefer to act, the best thing you can do is seek professional help. If this alternative explanation makes more sense to you, you and your wife might enjoy learning more about introversion. In doing so, you both might find a greater appreciation for how some less desirable instances, like being more easily bothered by noise, occur for the same reasons as some of your strengths as a person, like being able to self-teach difficult subjects.
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Re: Unsure if I have a problem

Postby Contemplation » Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:14 am

Hi there

You told us a bit about how you function. Not a word of a severe disfunction.

So, you're probably wrong here although this forum is a strange place anyway .
(strange as in: any comment on a psychological problem that makes sense is diagnosing)

I loved the first answer btw:

Although we can't offer a diagnosis or anything like that, what we can offer here is food for thought.

Not trying to offend you here! Implying that diagnosis often provides no food for thought at all is ... true. Sadly.
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Re: Unsure if I have a problem

Postby Goodboy » Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:02 pm

Usually a way to tell if a person has autism is that they are generally very interested in a certain topic and also refer back to that same topic all the time. They also have interests in repetitive behavior. It could be something like calling someone every time their at the movies, and literally doing it everyday. Their repetitive behavior in interests in talking about certain things are extreme.
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