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I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

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I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Stakeland » Tue Nov 15, 2016 6:11 am

Seriously what the ###$ is wrong with this world. I hate my life I hate my BPD I hate my ADHD I hate my Conduct disorder and I hate everything else. Nobody deserves mental illness but this world is just filled with so much bad!!! I hate all the nons that think we're simply lazy or being a bitch when they couldn't even comprehend or fathom the indescribable pain of mental illness. Ignorant ###$ they should all die or feel the same pain so I can laugh at them when they commit suicide within two weeks. They don't know real pain ###$ your broken arm $#%^, ###$ your cancer even I don't even care. I'd rather have cancer I really would I don't care how physically painful it is I can't deal with this mental psychotic insanity that so many of us have to deal with and are condemned to for the rest of our lives! It's not right it's not right at all ###$ our ###$ up parents and our ###$ up brains and our ###$ up school system and this winner/loser societal system we call Capitalism. This world needs to ######6 BURN. And yet we're to believe in some guy hanging out in the clouds. ###$. Off. That is so dumb we are nothing but computers that get viruses I hope when we die we see nothing and feel nothing I want it to ######6 end please just stop the pain!!! Spin spin spin spin i'm so ######6 fed upppp!!!!!!!! I go to sleep every night hoping I have a heart attack while i'm sleeping. I hate this world I hate myself and I hate everyone around me and everything. I'm ready to give up.
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Saigal » Tue Nov 15, 2016 9:15 am

I really do want to help you as well as all other people suffering from mental disorder, but I really do not know how. I am trying my best and have got some success with an OCD patient. I often hear the word 'pain' mentioned on this forum in the nonphysical sense but am not able to understand how it feels. Is it like sorrow or heartbreak? How can self-harm ease pain? Please explain so that I can help better
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby jerboa » Tue Nov 15, 2016 9:43 am

Yup, living with a mental illness ######6 sucks. But remember: whether you want to continue living (like this) or not, you've always got a choice. Consider it.
Heaven, please sing for me a song of life
Heaven, take me into your skies
There's no place here for me to hide my cries
Night and day, I'm missing you
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Introspectah » Tue Nov 15, 2016 2:47 pm

Stakeland wrote:Seriously what the ###$ is wrong with this world. I hate my life I hate my BPD I hate my ADHD I hate my Conduct disorder and I hate everything else. Nobody deserves mental illness but this world is just filled with so much bad!!! I hate all the nons that think we're simply lazy or being a bitch when they couldn't even comprehend or fathom the indescribable pain of mental illness. Ignorant ###$ they should all die or feel the same pain so I can laugh at them when they commit suicide within two weeks. They don't know real pain ###$ your broken arm $#%^, ###$ your cancer even I don't even care. I'd rather have cancer I really would I don't care how physically painful it is I can't deal with this mental psychotic insanity that so many of us have to deal with and are condemned to for the rest of our lives! It's not right it's not right at all ###$ our ###$ up parents and our ###$ up brains and our ###$ up school system and this winner/loser societal system we call Capitalism. This world needs to ######6 BURN. And yet we're to believe in some guy hanging out in the clouds. ###$. Off. That is so dumb we are nothing but computers that get viruses I hope when we die we see nothing and feel nothing I want it to ######6 end please just stop the pain!!! Spin spin spin spin i'm so ######6 fed upppp!!!!!!!! I go to sleep every night hoping I have a heart attack while i'm sleeping. I hate this world I hate myself and I hate everyone around me and everything. I'm ready to give up.


I feel your pain, at least to the degree i'm capable of, as i don't want to pretend to be able to suffer as deeply as your post has made you seem to be.

Your post did make me wonder, though. . . does it feel to you as if no one's ever willing to patiently listen to your hate for the world, as they invalidate your reason for doing so?
''It's no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.''

''The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected.
''Only the wounded physician heals.'' But when the doctor wears his personality like a coat of armor, he has no effect. I take my patients seriously.''
- C.G. Jung
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Stakeland » Wed Nov 16, 2016 7:37 am

Just think of your worst moments. Shame, pain, sadness, sorrow, whatever it may be, and imagine at least two of those being present every single ######6 minute of your life.
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Introspectah » Wed Nov 16, 2016 12:17 pm

Stakeland wrote:Just think of your worst moments. Shame, pain, sadness, sorrow, whatever it may be, and imagine at least two of those being present every single ######6 minute of your life.


Forgive the apparant ignorance or presumption of my question:
Don't there some times occur occasions in which you feel less deeply affected by these sensations;
in which you feel, even for a moment's worth, less disturbed or plagued by them?
''It's no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.''

''The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected.
''Only the wounded physician heals.'' But when the doctor wears his personality like a coat of armor, he has no effect. I take my patients seriously.''
- C.G. Jung
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Stakeland » Thu Nov 17, 2016 1:24 pm

Ya when only one or the above is present. That's as good as it gets. There's always a bad emotion and usually more than one.
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Introspectah » Thu Nov 17, 2016 8:02 pm

Stakeland wrote:Ya when only one or the above is present. That's as good as it gets. There's always a bad emotion and usually more than one.


So in all honesty you cannot recall or admit to a particular situation in which you felt relieved of this ever present distress, even for a moment's worth?

Not to sound annoying or pushy here, just want to ensure certain facts before even trying to formulate relevant feedback or insight.
''It's no sign of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.''

''The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected.
''Only the wounded physician heals.'' But when the doctor wears his personality like a coat of armor, he has no effect. I take my patients seriously.''
- C.G. Jung
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby naps » Thu Nov 17, 2016 8:33 pm

Introspectah wrote:Forgive the apparant ignorance or presumption of my question:
Don't there some times occur occasions in which you feel less deeply affected by these sensations;
in which you feel, even for a moment's worth, less disturbed or plagued by them?


Sure. That's what keeps me going. Forgive the corny analogy, but it's like a moment of sunshine on an otherwise cloudy day. :roll:

If I can have moments of peace and clarity, however brief, there's no reason to believe I can't, with work, expand these rare moments and make them last longer.

How old are you op? I'm guessing you're young. You sound like me when I was 17. As long as you don't give up on managing your symptoms and treatment, you may find, as you grow older, that you're able to sit more comfortably with your illness(es). You get to know them better and they become less unpredictable. At least that's been my experience. Good luck.

Saigal wrote:I really do want to help you as well as all other people suffering from mental disorder, but I really do not know how. I am trying my best and have got some success with an OCD patient. I often hear the word 'pain' mentioned on this forum in the nonphysical sense but am not able to understand how it feels. Is it like sorrow or heartbreak? How can self-harm ease pain? Please explain so that I can help better


I can't speak for everyone, but it's more like a dark miasma of a whole bunch of negative feelings mixed into one. There's no specific overriding emotion you can describe. It's just a bad feeling. Like when you mix a bunch of nice colors together and you get an earthy, murky brown.

Or when something really crappy happens or you get some bad news; those initial moments when you don't quite know how to react as it all sinks in. Imagine feeling like that all the time.
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Re: I am going to literally ######6 lose it in 2 seconds.

Postby Stakeland » Tue Nov 22, 2016 12:30 am

Mental illness is indescribable. If you've never felt it, you will never know and be glad you don't. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies. It's worse than any physical pain, more haunting, more condemning. Like I said, I'd rather have cancer. Not that it's much different.
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