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Advice please

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Advice please

Postby Louise-1975 » Sun Jun 19, 2016 9:48 pm

I am desperate for answers on why I push people away who I love dearly.
I feel so lonely
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Re: Advice please

Postby Oliveira » Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:41 am

For me depression was the reason. I felt unworthy of anybody's time or affection and, yes, I pushed them away. The ones that wouldn't leave are who I now consider my friends.
Currently on a break from the Unbreakable tour
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Re: Advice please

Postby Louise-1975 » Mon Jun 20, 2016 7:48 am

I push people away and I have just been in a relationship for the past 9 months with a man who I love dearly he promised me he would stick by me through anything.
I have a lot of issues with my past and when we argue I feel like he doesn't want to be with me and I leave this time he has blocked me from contacting him and it's breaking my heart I just don't k ow what to do. He says I don't love him and never committed to him but I do. I moved away from my family to be with him but he doesn't see that as a commitment.
I really can't cope without him
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Re: Advice please

Postby Sam the man Leslie » Thu Jun 23, 2016 12:00 am

Word-up Homie x x.

This is irrefutable!!

YOU!! are A Homo sapiens!!
If others like 'YOU' can not accept that FACT. and That is all YOU are in LIFE?? Then they are 'NO!!!' good for 'YOUR' kindness., and they are only interested in YOUR ' ID, EGO, SUPER-EGO' and they will always change 'YOU' (as the day is long) just to suite their fantasy-image of what they want around them (heterosexual or other!!).

'YOU!!,' Have!, exuberating advertisements to the Homo sapiens that co-inhabit 'YOUR' space on this very large ROCK., and say to all of them..."This is ,ME!!' and I'm Beautiful!! for MY indignities, malfeasances, worries and LOVE!!"
and if 'YOU' are indeed A Homo sapiens??
Then 'YOU' are NO different from ME!!

YOU are a beautiful representation of LIFE!!

LOTS OF HOMO SAPIENS LOVE AND MUTUALY RESPEST FOR LIFE.

PEACE x x
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Re: Advice please

Postby peasantgirl » Tue Jun 28, 2016 8:48 pm

Louise-1975 wrote:I am desperate for answers on why I push people away who I love dearly.
I feel so lonely


Louise-1975

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts!

I do the same thing, and I have a couple theories as to why. Speaking only for myself, of course, but maybe you can relate. So first off, my self-esteem is in the toilet. It could not be any lower. When I first meet someone I am a "blank slate" to them. I'm on my best behavior because I want them to like me. Over time this isn't sustainable, because of course there's going to be conflict. It doesn't even have to be conflict with that person; it could be conflict with someone else that I handle badly and overreact to. After this happens a few times in front of my new friend/boyfriend, I start to get really embarrassed and start thinking "now they're seeing the real me". If they stick around I start to lose respect for them, because to my mind I am such an utter piece of you-know-what that anyone who wants me must be even more of a loser than I am! Talk about self-sabotage!

The other theory is that I don't feel truly loved for ME because they don't know the real me, they've only seen the mask I've shown them. They *think* they love me, but it's some other person that I'm pretending to be. Therefore, I test them by showing them my worst possible side to see if they stay. I usually do this over and over to the point that it's probably abusive, and any reasonable person would draw the line and leave me.

I don't have any advice for you as I haven't figured out yet how not to do this. But maybe that'll give you something to chew on? Try to hang in there. Are you seeing a therapist?
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Re: Advice please

Postby Louise-1975 » Tue Jun 28, 2016 9:01 pm

Hi

Thank you for your reply.
Everything you have said I can relate to.
I'm not sure why we do those things allow someone to get
Close then do everything possible to destroy it.
But deep down its not what I want.
It's hard to explain unless you go through it yourself.
I'm currently on the waiting list to see a therapist again!
I have seen many therapists but they just don't work.
I have been diagnosed with nearly every mental health condition
There is and they don't help.
This man does truly love me and he's shown it in many ways
And I know I love him but I think why does he love me?
And I still do everything possible to ruin it. He suffers with jealousy
And him being 15 years older than me doesn't help.
But I do things like when I'm not with him I don't answer the phone to him
Then he thinks I'm with someone I make him think that way but then I'm angry that he
Thinks I'm that sort of a person. It's crazy because it's actually destroying myself
And I can't stop myself from doing it.
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