Manic Reaction, and more?

I know this looks like it would go into a different forum, but please, let me explain. It's about more things, my life experiences in the past year, and my history. And, I looked at the medicine forum and it looks like many people read here - so I thought my chances at receiving a view, and some advice were increased.

Now to let me explain. I was on celexa for about 8 months. I've had depression, anxiety basically my whole life since I've been 13. I've had issues with ...obsessive intrusive thoughts, social anxiety, depression, shyness, body dysmorphic image fears, and there was a short period in my teenage years when I dealt with some hypochondria type things. I've been on a lot of different meds and I'm in my late 20's now, it's been one hell of a ride. I've had an extremely rough year this past year, finally graduated with a BS at 27, transitioned out to an internship across the country - out in the middle of nowhere on a wildlife refuge to do work there, and after that I packed up and moved to an entirely different state. The prospect and search for finding a solid good career has proved elusive, and very stressful. I've been really unstable this year, despite being on celexa for about 7 months. Before that, I was on Luvox (for the obsessive compulsive thoughts and actions) ...which didn't do Anything. I had thought the celexa made me less depressed. I seemed happy all the time - even though I wasn't - and inside was a boiling inferno of hell, somehow masked underneath celexa. Looking back on it, I've felt like I can't remember the last year, emotionally - like I wasn't even alive there.

....Anyways, I've finally hit rock bottom, after I quit a job I was not happy with and having lots of problems with. It was for the city and I put in a lot of time to find it. It had benefits and everything, AND, it was for my degree in sciences. Sometimes ...I wonder if I should have quit. I don't know. Anyway, I hit rock bottom and went to DARS (department of assistive rehabilitation) because I needed some assistance, and support. I had no job, no income, and had to keep paying to live. I also didn't know what I was going to do. I went for some psychological testing (4 hours in depth) and I was kind of shocked to find out I had fit the diagnosis for bipolar type ii disorder, as well as everything else aforementioned. I had received this dx many years ago when I was 20. But brushed it off as ridiculous nonsense at that time.


Well, I recently decided to taper off the celexa, for several reasons, about a month ago. One, it was not doing much of anything, I thought, and it was killing my sex drive. Also looking back it was blunting my experience of life and emotion. Like I said - I didn't feel alive this last year.
But the major thing I noticed was, when I started dramatically reducing the dose, of course I started to feel really morose and depressed again..which I expected, but another thing shocked me. I drastically noticed I felt immediately calmer inside and very much less agitated. I felt like, the high pressured obsessive and intrusive thoughts went from a level of 10 (which was literally making me crazy and frequently suicidal) down to a 2, or something. It was an amazing, incredible relief..even though now I feel much more depressed. I feel at peace inside.

It occurred to me that I had received that bipolar ii diagnosis, and I put the two together. I think I was having a manic reaction from being on that celexa.
This past year has seen me get in rages, yell and flip out on people - especially my mom, who she doesn't deserve it, always have incredible energy - like exercising constantly and never being able to just not be doing an athletic activity. I just felt flat and lifeless, and also this constant inner pressure which I can't explain. I would get into fits of talking really very fast, faster than I could speak, actually. It was as if I was trying to catch up with the flight of ideas from my brain, but my words couldn't do it. I was unable to relax. People looked at me strangely and indeed regarded me strangely. But they just thought this was just me, just my personality. It turns out its not, because I'm not like this anymore. When I'm not on nothing. I think that, I'm one hundred and ten percent sure actually - that the celexa was what made my ocd almost nearly debilitating. It was completely awful...a waking nightmare, every day. There is no hell like what that experience was. I wasn't depressed - the celexa wouldn't allow me to be - but I was definitely suicidal. Very often. ..when the stress was bad.


I just want to know if I am indeed "bipolar" or that I just had a manic reaction to taking that med. I am wary and scared of taking any antidepressant from here on out. Could it be that my terribly debilitating problems from obsessive intrusive thoughts really came from the meds I've been taking since I was younger??? I know I have these problems to begin with. But, it's a matter of degree. Like I can handle it now. It's fleeting, a fleeting occurance.
Thanks for reading, sorry this is so long.

Thanks.

Well, if you indeed have bipolar...people with bipolar shouldn't be on antidepressants without a mood stabilizer, because it can cause hypomania and/or mania in people with bipolar. Now, I have bipolar AND take an antidepressant but I'm also on a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic. My pdoc says he doesn't put many of his bipolar patients on an antidepressant, but in my case I need them.

I don't know what to tell you about the work issues, many with mental illness seem to have work issues, including myself. But, I have a good job that allows me the social and alone aspect I need through out the day, so other then the fact I hate working full time, it's working for now.

My advice is to get a pdoc, if you don't have one now and get properly diagnosed and get on the appropriate medications. It's made life more manageable for me and hopefully it will for you too.

As I understand it, even if someone only experiences mania from an antidepressant, it still means that the bipolar DX fits. This is just to give other doctors a heads up that there's a risk antidepressants will trigger mania and that a mood stabilizer is warranted. Agitation and anxiety can come with mania which could exacerbate an OCD issue.

From your description it sounds like the bipolar DX was in the past and isn't being considered currently. Is your current doctor aware of your previous DX and that you're experiencing manic symptoms with the Celexa?

Exiled. wrote:As I understand it, even if someone only experiences mania from an antidepressant, it still means that the bipolar DX fits.

I agree and that's what I meant when I said, "people with bipolar shouldn't be on antidepressants without a mood stabilizer, because it can cause hypomania and/or mania in people with bipolar. "

Okay, thanks for the responses guys. This has all been - and continues to be - very helpful to me. This is a lot to take in, and I'm trying at my best to see things clearly and make wise decisions with knowledge.

"As I understand it, even if someone only experiences mania from an antidepressant, it still means that the bipolar DX fits." - I didn't know this, but I guess that would make sense in a way.

I guess a lot of this comes down to semantics in a way, because it is - semantical. When you get down to it, there are no real answers to it. It just comes down to, what is helpful and what is not. If they want to call me bipolar ii because it helps them know that I get manic when on an sri, then that is fine, I guess. If that makes me bipolar, then ok. I don't know. I don't really feel too comfortable with that at this time, because I still have my doubts. But all I need to know is to keep this all in mind and that sri's have and will induce mania in me, in the past.

-- Sun Oct 12, 2014 11:40 am --

I have to clarify that as I did in another post, but I'll reiterate here again: I've just recently took a full battery of psych testing that was 4 hours long (this was about a few weeks ago) and I received the diagnosis of

OCD
bipolar ii
BPD traits
Depression/anxiety


So the bipolar type ii was corroborated with the testing i had done 7 years ago. In other words, it came up twice. So I'm thinking that means something indeed.