Am I an autistic person in denial? [x-post from AS forum]

***I do want to clarify that I'm aware ASD is not a mental illness, I just thought this forum would be where I would get the most dynamic feedback from anyone else on this site. There are also specific reasons with this problem that could be related to mental health issues.

I'm trying to confirm or refute an Asperger's diagnosis I received when I was much younger, which led me into specialized education. Testing over the years showed some consistency (even though the depth wasn't always there with the reasons why) and that's why I was still eligible for that type of education. I started thinking that I might be wishful thinking, trying to find positive reasons that give me hope for my life. When I posted the thread a couple of people thought I was in denial. I started wondering if my depression and anxiety were creating this shitstorm in my head and throwing me into some sort of loop that I can't break free from, which was what one poster alluded to. It's true in some cases but with the ASD and the negative energy surrounding that I just thought it was strong values against it. However, the thread evolved into a very interesting and at times intense discussion and left me wondering if I really am driving myself crazy, injecting false hope, being illogical, and part of some depressive loop that is forcing me to waste time on things that aren't productive.

Here's the thread: asperger-syndrome/topic145685.html
It picks up around the bottom of the first page, and really starts turning into a debate once the third page comes around. I explain a lot of my reasoning behind my mental health issues, and certain reasons that could possibly be against an ASD diagnosis.

Sorry I don't have any solution for you but I have a different kind of question: what is the difference between autism and aspergers?

larashirs wrote:Sorry I don't have any solution for you but I have a different kind of question: what is the difference between autism and aspergers?

technically, there's no distinction anymore between one thing and the other. both conditions previously known as "autism" (which is typically seen as more severe / disabling / problematic than AS) and "asperger's syndrome" (and other similar names) are currently categorized under "autism spectrum disorder"

there is clearly a wide variation between higher-functioning forms of it and more "rain man-like" forms of it (where it's not just difficult or undesirable, but often impossible for the person to integrate into a normal range of social settings), but there's no scientifically validated definition drawing a line between one and the other. some people just sit right on top of that line, no matter where you draw it

whatisintegrity wrote:Am I an autistic person in denial?

my opinion, just skimming through the posts so far: probably

there's no completely objective way to answer that either way (since the very definition of autism relies on subjective assessments), so if you really need an absolute answer, then, well... find a way to not need it. because that's something you will never get

think in terms of what either answer to that question will bring you. absolute truth is a fantasy. the answer that makes your life simpler is the right one -- and it's "the truth", so to speak. occam's razor

anachronic wrote:my opinion, just skimming through the posts so far: probably

You think I'm rigidly disagreeing with others? I mean just because I was tested consistently doesn't mean every test was in depth that much, I would assume the "diagnoses" i got from school psychologists were heavily influenced 'by history'. I don't think the consistency means much.

The truth would be nice, but I'm fully aware it's usually impossible to totally find it. BUt I want the most accurate opinion I can possibly get, not totally objectively but the opinion that makes me feel like I cracked the code. And no I'm not just waiting for that one to say "Congrats you're not Autistic." and just run with it.

sorry, i have nothing else to add. i just mean what i said

niceee